The Beauty in Life

The Beauty in Life--

With so much ugly happening in our world, let us turn our attention to the pretty.  Let us give ourselves over to what is good and right and kind.  Let us care for one another even when life is on a good course. People need affirmation that what they are accomplishing is worthy.  That they are walking in a good way.

Celebration must be present in life everyday.  Celebrate that we have one more day to practice care for others.  Celebrate that we have choice.  Celebrate that we can come together to talk about our differences.  Celebrate that we can make decisions about our actions and beliefs.

It is my observation that a smile given is a smile returned.  Is that a little thing?  An insignificant action? I don't think so.  Many of us are walking around in skin that is worried.  Or upset.  Or fearful.  When a stranger offers that smile, we feel part of us relaxing.  We return that lovely greeting and walk away feeling better.  I realize we cannot know another's battles.  But, we can offer what we can to a world that needs care.  Making eye contact and smiling as we meet fellow shoppers during this busy season,  is a way of offering ourselves.  Of moving away from being centered on ourselves.  It truly does matter that we do this small, simple thing.

While decorated trees, twinkling lights and gifts occupy a large part of this season,  giving to others in need soars.  People reach into wallets or their own personal time and offer assistance.  They want others to have one day of joy.  One day with full tummys.  One day when people they do not know offer words of hope and encouragement.  The truth of these acts is the givers receive as much or more than than those they help.  It is my belief that we do not wish to be uncaring.  To refuse to see need.  I think we are all so busy with making a living that we forget to make a life.  We forget to schedule time to think about the real meaning of life.  It is so easy to fall into this habit.  Days follow days.  Weeks pass. We mean to do this thing for someone in need, but we are just so busy.  This is a true statement.  How to change from thoughts to actions?  Something to ponder.

Recently someone in the car ahead of mine in the drive-thru at Starbucks purchased my drink.  That is no small thing.  Coffee costs more than a gallon of gas.  It made my heart smile, and it made me think about ways I could pay it forward.  The person in the car in front of mine probably did not know me.  He/she simply offered a bit of sunshine to me.  A lovely gesture to a stranger.

And then there is this young man who works at Starbucks.  Over time we have become friends.  We wave to one another when I go through to pick up my drink.  We did not share names.  Just spent a little time visiting when the line was slow.  His kindness touched my heart.  I decided to take a small gift to him as a way of saying I appreciate his friendly spirit.  We finally exchanged names.  We have made plans to meet for coffee--surprise--and chat.  He is on the front end of his journey. I am on the end of mine yet our spirits touched one another.  What joy.  I am always pleasantly surprised with the new people who make their way through my life.  They bring new ideas and new thoughts.  A discussion over a cup of coffee with a new friend.  What does it take?  Time.  That precious commodity we all wish we had more of.

We can give hope to those who are struggling.  Those who feel hopeless.  We can encourage their efforts toward a better life.  We can listen as they share their story.  We can withhold judgement.  After all, it takes great courage to share from our deepest places.  We can send encouraging notes, emails, texts to those who need a little lift.  None of these things require one penny.  We do not have to rush out to buy a gift.  The gift we give is the gift of ourselves.  Our time.  There it is again.  That word.  Time.  Maybe we should take a little bit of it and rearrange a moment to make way for blessings by being in relationship with others.

Let us not forget the gift of love.  That feeling that motivates our every action.  That moves us to do extraordinary things.  Love is the compass of our lives pointing us always toward doing good in this world.  Yes, we live in troubling times.  Yes, violence seeks to take away our peace.  But let us never forget that love is the greatest thing of all.

There will always be ugly in this world.  It has always been that way.  I believe we have the ability to bring love into a hurting world.  We only have to look around to see all the good that people are doing. Let us celebrate everyday we have.  And remember that our celebration of life encourages others.

When Did It Happen?

When Did It Happen?--

When did it happen?  Is it possible to pinpoint the exact moment in time?  Perhaps it was gradual.  That would explain part of it.  A slow movement away from knowledge.  From involvement.  Not intentional.   A passage of life?  Moving from one piece of our puzzle to another along our journey.

Each stop along our journey teaches us more about ourselves, and the world we inhabit.  Are we aware of others as we journey?  Is our time and energy wrapped up in our own place and time?  Is it a mixture of the two?  How do we define a well lived life?

These questions haunt me.  Fear that I have moved far away from what is important and meaningful to me fills my thoughts.  It is easy to be involved when you know about need.  When you see it daily.  At what point did I cease to know about need?   Involvement in a career certainly made a huge difference. Constant contact with people brings the opportunity to do for others.  Those days were so lovely.

Moving into the stage of life where working is no longer necessary brings with it much goodness.  Time to do the new thing.  Time to develop interests that were once only dreams.  Time to have time.  Yet there can be a downside to this stage of the journey.  Isolation, removal from being actively involved in life creates a void.  The sense of being a useful person in society is diminished.

When did I move from being aware to being unaware?  To being involved in helping to taking care of self?  When did my world become smaller?  I do not like to admit this about myself.  It would be much easier to erect a facade to shield myself from the world.  This time in life is all about taking care of self, isn't it?  After all, I did much during my working years.  Yet, that small voice deep inside is beginning to yell.  To attempt to get my attention.  To assure me that there is good to be done, and I can do it.  To get back into the hurry and bustle of life. It is urging me to open myself to new challenges.  To step outside this zone of comfort I have erected around my life.

Why is this important to write about?  Maybe putting words on this page means I have reached the point of action.  Maybe thinking these thoughts out loud for you to read means I am acknowledging my deep need to enter life in a new way.  To step out and take a new chance.  To know that I do not do this alone.  This drive within comes from a divine place.  And when that divine place pushes, it is time to move.  Even if the direction is unclear.

I welcome your thoughts.  I welcome the insight you have.  I welcome your presence in my life.  For we are part of one another.   Part of a plan much greater than we can ever imagine.  If you are struggling with your place on the journey, I welcome your words.   It is in sharing ourselves honestly and fully that we grow.  That we do what we were put here to do.

When did it happen?  Slowly.  Quietly.  Innocently.  Recognizing is the first step.  Praying and thinking is the second.  Asking is third.  Listening is next.  And action is the last step in reentry.

Where shall this lead?  I know not.  What I do know is this.  My greatest happiness comes in helping others find their way.  In giving back to this world.  In seeing goodness.  In thinking less of me and more of others.  This part of the journey has the potental to be the most wonderful yet.  I am excited to see where it will lead.

Christmas Thoughts

Christmas Thoughts-

One would think that the holiday season would be the happiest time of the year.  The world decorates. Lights twinkle on trees in homes.  Stores draw attention to displays with lighting.  Ribbons and bows decorate doors.  Garlands of fresh greens grace mantles and furniture.  Dressed up trees grace homes.  Christmas music makes us smile and even sing along.  Presents are wrapped in festive colors.  Surprises abound.

Yet, amid all the attempts to convince the world that this is the most wonderful time of the year, often it is not.  The hype is all about getting that someone special the perfect gift.  Or making sure the children have everything they want.  I remember when our son was a little guy.  I handed him a catalog of children's toys and asked him to put an "x" on anything he would like for Christmas.  Gave him a crayon and left the room.  When I returned, he had marked everything on every page with that x.  And why not? I loved his response.

I do admit that a special gift selected just for me is a lovely thing.  I enjoy the hunt for something special for those in my circle, too.   It makes my heart smile to know they will enjoy a gift given from my heart.  Giving is the real purpose, right?  That is what retail tells us.

It's a funny thing about gifts.  While they are certainly appreciated and even loved, the most precious gifts cannot be purchased.  They won't fit in any size box.  They are those things we make the choice to give.  They include our time.  Maybe a lunch date.  Or a time over coffee with a friend or family member.  In today's world where families are on tight time schedules, the gift of a few moments to visit is priceless.  Letting someone know that they are loved and appreciated by giving the gift of a few moments will be remembered for a lifetime.

Maybe Christmas is about slowing down just a bit.  Don't we all enjoy a cup of hot chocolate piled high with marshmallows on a snowy or cold evening?  Or a glass of wine while visiting in front of a fire?  Maybe it is about reconnecting.  Reflecting on the year that has been.  Recounting the good and the not so good.  Relishing moments.  Being grateful.  Telling someone you love them.  Refusing to get caught up in media hype.  Or at least trying.

I know.  It is difficult to find time to just be.  But, it is necessary if we are to be whole and healthy.

Just like you, we will be busy with preparations.  We will purchase gifts for our loved ones and those special friends who bring such light and joy into our lives.  We will decorate our trees.  Garland strung with lights will grace the front door welcoming all who visit.  We will do special things for our family.  Those are all things we want to do.  We will play Christmas music in our house and car.  Just like everyone else.

What I hope is different for us this year is the knowledge that the holidays are not easy on people.  Many feel lonely and sad.  I have felt this way.  I know how it hurts.  That feeling that everyone is having a wonderful time, and you are not able to share in the joy.  It doesn't matter what causes those feelings.  During the holiday season when everything is about being together and being loved, feeling like others don't love you or that you are alone in this big world is magnified.  I want to be aware.  To be welcoming to those who may be putting up a good front.  To reach out beyond myself and offer friendship.

Before we know it, it will be a memory.  All the decorations will be placed in boxes and stored for another year.  Life will return to our normal-whatever that looks like.  We will say it was such a good holiday, and that we are happy it is over.  What must not return to normal is our forgetting that life is more than trees and presents.  It is all about people.  Wonderful folks who come in all sizes and shapes. Who come into our lives with gifts to give-gifts of friendship and love.  Gifts of caring.  Gifts of being there when our world is falling apart.  We must hold on to memories of our children and grandchildren laughing with us.  Cooking something special.  Sharing that once a year thing.  We must remember to love on one another every month of the year.

Tonight I read something in a book by Joel Osteen.  My son gave me the book for Christmas a few years ago.  He said a car has a large front windshield and a small rearview mirror.  The large front windshield is pointing us into our future. It is large because our world is large.  We don't know what awaits us, but we can be sure that God loves us and is helping us move toward a better, brighter tomorrow.  The rear windshield is small.  It represents our past.  That part of us that is filled with the good and the bad.  We cannot change it.  It is our choice if we live in that small window.  However, if we do that, we will never move forward toward our best.  I love that.  I am going to think about that everyday.  When the holidays are history, our life continues.

It is my hope and prayer that each of us take time to rest along the road to Christmas.  To celebrate.  To remember.  And to always keep the warmth of this special time in our hearts.

Merry Christmas.

Know What?

Know What?

It is time to bring joy and peace into this world.  It is time to stop carrying grudges.  It is time to care for one another.  It is time to find quiet in our own lives.  To stop the noise.  To stop the constant negative words and actions that have become the norm.  It is time to believe in the goodness of others.  To believe that life has meaning.  To believe that giving is more important than getting.

To reach out and bring others into our circle.  To listen instead of insisting on others listening to us.  To acknowledge that we are only one small speck in this vast universe.  To sing and dance for no reason other than we can.

To refuse to be drawn into negative conversations.  To find what is positive and nurture that.  To know that every action has  the power to change those in our space.  To think before we say something that might harm another.  Or damage another.  To knock that chip off our own shoulder thus allowing ourselves to be more  open to what might make its way into our life.

It is time to forgive.  To walk in love and peace.  To refuse to be drawn into drama after drama.  To acknowledge that differences exist but they need not define us.  To reach out and help others with simple acts.  Acts that show our true spirits.

It is time to stop the madness.  Time to stop pointing fingers and open our hands and hearts to others.  To have folks into our homes for meals and conversation.  To cherish family and friends.

Yes, it is time.

Expectations

Expectations--


A rainy afternoon.   Winter is announcing her arrival with cooler days and nights.  Snow can't be far behind.  All to be expected.

Expected.  An interesting word.  We live our lives with expectations.  Some we realize.  Others become distant dreams or wishes.  Living with expectations gives our life purpose.  Expecting a great concert means we are hyped up and ready to experience a good time.  Expecting a baby brings with it the promise of the future.  We plan, purchase, talk about this coming event.  We expect others to share in our joy.  Graduating from school whether it be college or a trade continues our expectation for earning a living wage.  Young people expect to make the team after hours and hours of practice.  The list continues.

Somewhere along life's continuim we expect to grow old.  We desire to live our life fully until the last breath.  We exercise, eat the right foods, keep positive thoughts at the front of our minds.  We engage in meaningful relationships with those we enjoy.  We develop hobbies that provide our minds and bodies with much needed things to do.  Our wish is to be vibrant until the last minute of our lives.  Growing old is not a bad thing.  In fact, it can be the most meaningful time of life.  Unless it is cut short by disease or accident.  Or by others wishing harm.

Wishing harm.  It can happen in relationships.  Families, friends, partners, husbands, wives have the ability to cause great harm to one another.  Could it be that the "I" in all relationships takes center stage thus allowing very little room for others?  Most plays engage multiple characters in dramas that work around one or two challenges.  The challenge is introduced.  We then have the opportunity to watch as the actors work through the problems in search of a solution.  Compromise is almost always part of the equation.  Not everyone gets everything.  Hopefully, everyone receives enough to continue.  And the play ends.  The stage grows dark.

Wishing harm cuts much deeper than this.  In our world wishing harm seems to be a way of life for some.  This is playing itself out on a national stage.  We are drawn into the pain and suffering of others in distant lands.  Those we do not know personally.  Yet, we do know them.  We are part of them.  We expect to go to work, to return home, to greet and be greeted by those we love and who love us.  We expect to visit over a coffee with friends perhaps discussing coming events or holiday plans. We expect to wake up to a new day.  Just like they did.  When violence rips these expectations out from under us, we are left wondering how we got to this place.

I struggle with this.

However, amid the destruction of lives comes a new day.  A day like no other, to be sure.  We cannot avoid that new day.  It has to be faced and walked through.  Lives are forever changed.  Beliefs shift.  Tolerance and acceptance become issues that tear at our deepest self.  We know what we never dreamed we would know.  Violence has showed its ugly head.  Nothing is the same.

Because of these events, new expectations arise.  We walk forward understanding that peace is not a dream.  It is an expectation.  We can be assured that one day nations will grasp the fact that we are so much richer and better when we learn tolerance toward one another.  That our differences need not end in conflict.  That we can come together in small groups and communities to talk about who we are. And  we can listen to others.  No one has the absolute corner on everything.  By spending time in conversation we open ourselves to greater understanding.  We also give others the opportunity to understand us.

Expectations.  They propel us forward toward what we view as worthy.  May we always live with her guiding us on our journey.

The Voice

The Voice-

I have a question for all of us.  Are we so comfortable in our present spot in life that we see no need to change?

Our response is probably determined by several factors.  Those include personal relationships, career choices, financial obligations and belief systems to name but a few.  Age and gender may also play a role.  If we took the time, we could list several other factors that hold us in the spot we now occupy.

What if a small but insistent voice tugs at our core, our soul, and urges us to reevaluate this most comfortable spot?  That voice often refuses to be squelched.  It is quite stubborn.   We hear its urging and recognize the truth it is asking us to consider.  What to do?

To acknowledge that we have heard the voice means we are ready to evaluate our present spot.  That requires great courage.  It is courageous to locate ourselves outside that most warm and welcoming comfort zone.  Within this zone there is protection and acceptance.  No surprises.  Everything moves with a familiar rhythm.  There is the familiar.  Who would choose to open the door and step out of that safety net?

Stepping out of the safety net may require change.  Heaven forbid we should change!  Attitudes and beliefs might need adjustment.  That is difficult work that we often do not want to do.  Personal relationships could need a little tweek.  Yes, stepping outside that comfort zone might require more than we are willing to give.

While we are sorting  out what that small voice is asking us to consider, we finally recognize what is truly holding us in our present spot.  Fear.  Yes, fear.

Why would anyone voluntarily choose to leave a comfort zone when fear of rejection, ridicule and pain might lurk around the next corner?  Wouldn't it be best to remain safely inside the net where none of those threaten?  Yet, once that small voice has gotten our attention, we know we must deal with it.  The choice is always ours.  We can hear and agree that change is necessary but decide to continue on our path. Or we can listen and begin the process of change.  Taking baby steps we can move forward to a more satisfying life.

Should we select change, the fear will remain.   We have entered uncharted waters.  Life will reflect our newness.  Friends and associates may feel uncomfortable with the new in us, but we will feel exhilerated, full of passion and energy.  Those who hold a belief in  us will celebrate the moves we are taking to improve our life.  These people are probably risk takers, also.  They recognize the strength and courage needed to make significant changes.

And the others-they may watch from a distance waiting for us to fail.  Or they may silently wish they had the courage to embark on change.  It is possible they have not reached the spot we occupy, but they are aware.  We are their example.  We are their inspiration.  As we move to a better place within ourselves, we can offer grace and acceptance to those we share life with.  We have no secret.  We simply have done the work to see where we can make life better for not only ourselves, but also for others.

It is challenging to move.  I know.  It is difficult.  To take that first step means we have examined ourselves and have found need.  Once that need has a name, we step out to discover new ground.

Have you felt a tugging at your heart?  A small voice that won't be quieted?  A desire that pops up at odd and unexpected times?  Maybe it is yelling your name.  Maybe it is whispering quietly.  However it appears in your life, give it a little attention.  Allow it time to perculate.  Time to rest in the deepness of you ready to step forward when you give it the nod.

Haven't heard it yet?  Slow down.  Be quiet and wait.  It is anxious to spread its love and care over  you.  Who knows how that voice may change your life.

PS.  I have written about this before.  For some unknown reason I feel the urge to write about it again.  Often I ignore thoughts.  I don't want to write certain things.  But, this time I listened.  Hope it helps someone.

An Amazing Moment

An Amazing Moment--

Amazing moments arrive unannounced.  They simply appear.  Out of nowhere.  Often in the most unlikely places.  Having an open spirit to recognize them is necessary or else they will pass by as quickly as they arrived.

Golf courses are beautiful places.  Beautifully groomed.  Water, trees, long expanses of mowed grass.  The perfect place to think.  To meditate.  To be grateful.  Those playing the courses with heavy bags full of golf stuff hanging on their backs probably have another view.  They see the fairways, the greens, the hazards.  They see handicaps and par.  Guess it all depends on the cart or the walk.

While my grandson was walking and planning his next move on the course, I was driving a golf cart.  I was the water girl.  The encourager.  The Snicker candy bar lady.  It was all great fun.  And during that ride around the course, I had one of those amazing moments in time.

A father was doing the same as I.  Riding along as his son walked and played the course.  We introduced ourselves and began our 18 hole journey.  Around the third hole our conversation took a turn I would never have expected.  Most conversation at sporting events center around the players and the game itself.  This conversation became deep and wonderful.

Around that third hole the father asked me what advice or suggestions I would give him for the rest of his life.  He is in his early 50's.  Very successful businessman.  However, I could tell there was a searching in his life.  He wanted to make sure he did this life right.  Didn't miss out on the important things in the hurry to make a living.  My comments included slowing down, being grateful, developing a gracious attitude toward life and others, practing grace at all times.  Seeing the flowers in ditch banks instead of the cement that stretches out before us as we travel highways.  Stuff like that.

He was very thoughtful as we spoke about life being short.  At one point he quoted scripture.  Book, chapter, verse.  Of course, I asked if he was a minister.  He replied no, but that he was giving serious thought to selling his business and joining ministry.  I could see him in that role, that calling.  He had a gentle spirit that brought others into conversation.

And from that moment we began a discussion that lasted the rest of the 18 holes.  Between shots we discussed parables.  Were they literal?  Did they actually happen?  He asked me what I thought.  I replied that parables are stories meant to teach or drive home a point.  That I didn't think it was important whether they actually happened or not.  What was important was the lessons they teach.  And that every person hearing them will get what they need from them.  They might have happened or they might not.  That really wasn't the point.  I knew he had a more literal view of the Bible yet we both were interested in what the other had to say.

We talked about Adam and Eve.  Did I believe they were real people?  What about heaven and hell?  Deep questions one would not expect to address as the players addressed the ball.  I asked him what he believed on many of the things we discussed.  And like me, there were times when answers were not easy.  A few times I had to say that I didn't know.  Hadn't formed a thought about a particular question we were discussing.  What about Noah and the flood?  Was Jesus God?  Did Jesus die for sins of the people?

The beautiful thing about this day was our willingness to share our thoughts and beliefs.  No criticism of the other.  I was aware that we were very far apart in our beliefs.  Yet, we were able to share from our own experiences.  Toward the end of our 18 hole journey, I asked him if he believed that everything happens for a purpose.  He answered yes.  So, I asked what the purpose of our meeting was.  What did it mean to him?  As with other questions posed during the few hours, he was quiet for a bit.  Then he said he didn't know. What did I think was the purpose?  So we had a little talk about that.

When our time was over, I thanked him for a wonderful discussion.  I told him it was not often that strangers meet and immediately delve into the deeper things in life.  How much I enjoyed our conversation.  And that I hoped whatever he decided, he would know in his heart that it was the right place for him.  I put out my hand to shake his.  He walked to me and gave me a hug instead.  It was a special moment.  I am fairly sure our paths won't cross again.

How grateful I am that I was listening closely to his first question.  That  first question took us on a path of sharing that does not often occur.  I am thankful that we smiled and laughed and shook our heads at one another over answers that were not our own.  There was no pointing out faults because our beliefs were not exactly the same.  Instead there was a coming together with the same belief that all people are precious.  That when we see need, it is our duty and responsibilty to reach beyond ourselves and offer help.  That the world needs a huge dose of grace.

Amazing moments do happen.  They are doors we can look through, or openings we can walk through.  Walking through them means we open ourselves to whatever is on the other side.  Of course we don't want to walk through all doors, but when one that has the potential to open us to new thoughts appear, why not race through?  Why not put fear aside? Why not listen with a caring ear?  Why not give ourselves the opportunity to say aloud to another traveler what we believe?

I was blessed by this man and his conversation.  We are both travelers moving through life trying to make sense of it all.  We are both aware that we are learners.  Neither of us have the key to life.  Neither of us have all the answers.  But, we shared the important questions of life.  On a golf course.  On a summer day.  A moment in time.