A Starting Point

A Starting Point-

This quote by Nido Qubin caught my attention.

"Your present circumstances don't determine where you go; they merely determine where you start."

Sometimes I feel stuck.   Stuck in time and place.  Stuck in routine.  Mired in daily doings.  My present circumstances dictating my actions.  When these feelings cover my whole being, there is no thinking about a starting point.  There is only a spot.  No opportunities to choose a way.  Discouragement becomes my second skin.  Can't move out of it.

Do you ever find yourself wishing for a starting point?  Wishing for one more chance?  Thinking that if you could just have one more shot at whatever it is you want or need, your life would get back on target?

I think one thing the author of the quote is trying to convey is we are always moving.  We are never still.  What we are engaged in now is not what will hold our attention in a week, a month, a year.  How wise we are when we grasp that truth.  Nothing is forever.  Where we are now is our springboard. The place we begin the next piece of our journey.  Certainly there is fear in believing we are ready to start something new.  What will others think?  What do we think we can bring to the table that hasn't already been placed on it?  Do we honestly believe we have anything to give that others would want?  As we move toward positive responses to those and other questions that plague us, we realize that to be our authentic self, moving is required.

Maybe Robert Frost was correct. Those two roads that diverge in life make us stop and think.  This one or that one?  We can only glimpse what might be around the bend.  It is secret.  Hidden from us.  Asking us to trust ourselves and those who wish to help us.  One step down the chosen road...then another.   Baby steps.   Hesitant.   Halting.  Looking back to the other choice.  Was this the right one?  Are we on the path that will be our new beginning?  Is it possible to leave behind those broken parts of our lives and move forward?  The next step.  Our new start.  Frightening sometimes.  But full of wonder.  What will we find?  Who will join us on the road to our fresh start?

Each new day is a gift.  We leave behind us the day before.  And the day before that.  Yet, I think we tend to take those "before" days with us into our new start.  We hold on to things that we should let go. We stew in our juices about words spoken, decisions made.  We are held captive to our own thoughts. And when that happens, we cannot start anything new.  We have not allowed the past to be the past.  We bring it into our future.  Not that we want to drag it into our tomorrows.  It takes will power to move forward.  It takes conviction that we are right in starting something new.  It takes courage to honestly believe that new beginnings are not only possible but are an absolute.   The moment we realize these truths, we are ready to start.  To explore what has been patiently waiting for us.

Years ago I complained to a person that writing was so difficult.  Who would ever want to read anything that came into my mind.  The response was to open myself to whatever presented itself.  To push fear behind me.  To believe in myself.  That person was a radio station manager.  Because of him and his encouragement, I had air time on his station for a few years.  I realized that I would be traveling a new and uncertain road.  One I had not been down before.  It was a starting point.  One that brought new experiences.

Feeling stuck means I have closed myself off to possibilities.  I have refused to listen to that little voice deep inside that encourages me to do the simple things in life that bring joy to others.  To smile more.  To refuse to become annoyed at silly things.  To see good.  To welcome discussion.  To be kind and patient.  Life usually isn't about big things.  Life is lived in small moments.  One following another.  We are known by those small moments.  Who we are shines through when we offer our care and concern for others.  When we listen.  When we encourage.

Guess I know where my starting point is.  It is staring me right in the face.  What about you?

The Wonder of Spring

 The Wonder of Spring-

Spring quietly appears.  No thundering or lightening. No snowstorms. No freezing weather.  She comes gently.  One day the ground is bare.  The next life is springing forth.  Plants somehow know that it is time for them to make their humans grateful and happy.  Grateful for surviving yet another winter.  Grateful to once again walk in the warmth of a breeze.  With no coats, scarves or hats.  Not bent into the wind.  Just walking.  Maybe humming a tune.  Observing life appearing again.  Happy to be present when such a time arrives.

There is excitement when a bush puts out leaves or when a flower blooms.  We stand in awe as if it is the first time we have seen it happen.  That's part of what makes spring so special.  We are renewed.  We fall in love all over again with the wonder of nature.  We walk among the bluebells and are transplanted into a new and lovely world.  A world where everything is beauty.  We walk around the flower and plant beds hoping to see shoots pushing their way into the world.  Out from their hiding places.  We talk to others about the progress we see each day.  Yes, it is a magical time.

Nature renewed.  Nature reborn.  Nature springing out  in our faces.    Welcoming us to come see, come smell, come gather.  To be refreshed after a winter of silence.  A winter with beauty of a different kind.

Time to evaluate our landscape.  Should we move this bush over there?  Will it receive the correct amount of sun and shade it needs to thrive?  What about those plants?  Maybe we should divide and replant where there are holes in the bed.  Get those clippers out.  Time to do a little trimming.  Hours spent evaluating.  Changing.  Enjoying what works and fixing what doesn't.  Backs sore from digging and raking.  A good tired.  One that occurs when creative work is finished.

Hope is born in spring.  Hope that this world will become a better place for all people who walk its soil.  Hope that broken relationships will mend and stay mended.  Hope that love will surround us until we are giddy and silly from it.  Hope that those we meet will become friends.  Hope that those who are friends will grow closer and dearer.  Hope that cures will be discovered in a lab.  Hope that treatment will be less difficult.  Hope that we all have another year to live.  And that that year will be full of all the best.  Hope that we will not fail to see those in need but will reach beyond ourselves to encourage another.  Hope that we are able to comfort others whose world has broken into a million pieces.  That we don't say we don't know what to say.  But that we give a hug or hold a hand or cry with.

Spring is born each year into this world.  We can count on it.  We may have to wait awhile, but we know it will appear.  Hope is born within us as we reach beyond our own small world into the larger one and embrace the new.  As we allow our spirits to grow and blossom into something beautiful.  Our growth may begin small.  Maybe only we are aware it is happening.  It could start as a change of attitude.  Or a shift from being negative to being more positive.  It could move from being critical to seeing others in a new and different light.

Whatever we need to feel spring within our spirit, it is my hope that we allow it to enter our presence.  To allow ourselves to blossom forth in new and exciting ways. To rejoice that we have been given the gift of friendship.  To celebrate all the people who inhabit our space.  To accept that we are all different and find that a good thing.  To learn.  To wonder.  To question.

Spring is a renewing of our world and ourselves. A time to start again.  To be done with that which wore us down.  To embrace that which is beautiful.  And to be grateful for new beginnings.

Tragedy

Tragedy--

In a heartbeat, a breath, it can end.  Dreams, plans...never to be realized.  Memories so very precious.  Texts, emails, photographs saved for all time.  Pictures touched by fingers that long to feel the warmth just one more time.  Voicemails listened to over and over.

Who would have imagined that this wonderful event would have such a tragic ending.  No one would.  Everyone was waiting for their return.  To listen to the stories.  To laugh about the silly things that happened.  To celebrate the homecoming.  No one would have ever thought such a thing could happen.  Especially to these fine people.  These people who were loved by family, friends, co-workers.  No, this is not what happens to people following a wonderful experience.

And yet it did.

The difficult thing is life will continue.  There is no choice in that.   Days will follow days.  Lonely nights will seem endless.  Tears will flow like rivers.  It won't seem fair.  And it isn't.  There is no fairness in a child missing a dad.  A wife longing for the embrace of that man she loves so much.  A parent grieving--this is not the way it should be.  They should not outlive their child.  Emptiness all around.  In every room.  Around every corner.  In the scent of the clothes hanging in the closet.  The summer vacation plans.  Everything is different.  Nothing is the same.  A new normal no one wants.  Sometimes anger.  Always sadness and lonliness.  How to move beyond?  How to find peace?

Broken hearts.  Broken lives.   Well meaning people may say time will help heal.  I don't know about that.  Time will move the tragedy further away, but it won't take away the pain. Each person touched by this awful event must find their way.  It will be different for each one.  One may find comfort in family and friends.  Some in their faith.  Others in memories.  Some in going through photographs remembering precious times shared.  There is no one  way to move through this.  No time frame.  This is unchartered territory.  A new walk with no worn path.  No map with directions.

Thinking and grieving for these precious families reminds me that we are all mortal.  We were created for a time--not forever.  What I would have done had I been in charge was to make sure all people lived to at least 80.  I would have guaranteed in writing that all people on this earth would have the opportunity to watch their children grow into adulthood.  Watch them choose a career.  A life partner.  Children. Grandchildren.  And only when they were old and tired would it be time to move to the next experience.  There to await the arrival of those they love.

But, I am not in charge.  So I grieve with those sweet souls whose hearts are broken.  May they find the peace they so desperately seek in the coming days, weeks, months and years.  It will come slowly.  One step forward, three back.  Four back.  Then one forward.  But for now may they know the love and care of those who are reaching out.  Those who want to help shoulder the sadness.  Those who feel helpless but desiring to help.

And may those families know in their heart of hearts how dearly they were loved.  Always and forever.

Number Fifty

Number Fifty-

Celebrations help mark the important events in our lives.  We celebrate holidays, birthdays, weddings, spring returning, flowers blooming.  Celebrations are happy times.  People get together to sing, dance, eat, play, remember.  Banners hang across walls, trees warm rooms, champaign glasses clink, gifts are opened, laughter fills the air.  What happy, happy times.

This year is one of those happy, happy times for my little family.  Fifty years ago this summer the boy on the neighboring farm and I said those words that have kept us together.  We were young.  We had nothing.  No possessions.  No money.  Not much else but love for one another.  A few shower gifts.  A new place to live.  Striking out on our own.

All the things that eventually cause worry and sleepless nights were yet to appear.  Everything was new and exciting.  Certainly there were adjustments.  A few whys along the way.  A bump here and there.  Maybe even an occasional detour to regroup and move forward again.  Life happens.  We grow and change.  We learn to accept one another- warts and all.  We forgive.  We make up.  We continue our journey.

People celebrate this big number numerous ways.  Some have a family dinner.  Some take that long awaited cruise.  Some put their wedding pictures along with a current picture in the local newspaper.  We thought about all of these ways of celebrating.  And then we came up with our own way.

We decided to do something special every month of this year.  To celebrate every month instead of one time.  To make this year a year of memories.  One of the things we are looking forward to is visiting the 50th state.  We have been in 49.  This year we will visit Rhode Island.  Finish our desire to visit all fifty states.   Boston is in our sights for the fall.  We have been there, but Boston is ever new.  Much history we have not experienced.  Key West is on for the fall, too.  We have visited Florida many times, but never made the trip all the way to the Keys.  On the list is a trip to the Pacific Northwest to a major sand castle building contest that occurs between low and high tide on one particular summer day. We have reserved our room on the ocean for that special day.  What fun to watch sand artists create wonder in such a short time.  Following that we will drive to Washington state, catch a ferry to Victoria Island in Canada and visit Buchart Gardens.  A short trip but filled with beauty and wonder.

Of course we will want to celebrate with our friends and family.  So we plan to throw a big party at our home in the country.  To laugh and share stories.  To make new memories.  If you are in our neighborhood, stop in and share it with us.

We will fill all the months with something special.  A play, a musical, a weekend trip.  And when the year has ended, we will look back and say it was all good.  That we would do this thing called marriage all over again.  That we are lucky to reach this milestone.  That we know how fortunate we are.

Others have made more money than we have.  Others have bigger homes, finer cars.  Others have all those possessions that the world says we humans need to be called successful.  Money, homes, cars, possessions are all good things.  What we believe is people are the most important thing in life.  Precious people.  Interesting people.  Creative people.  Loving people.  How grateful we are to have been touched by so many lives.  We are truly fortunate and humbled.

So our big year is here.  We look at one another and see that young person saying those vows.  We see the change that comes with years of living.  And we love one another more.  And count the time we have left as precious.

Decisions

Decisions--

Decisions.  Why are some so easy to make and others so difficult?  Deciding between chocolate and vanilla ice cream is fairly easy.  Having both is a possible solution.  Deciding between salad or burger might cause a moment of thought.  One is healthy.  The other also contains salad.  Well, ok.  Not much but doesn't a little count?  Deciding between a bikini, a two piece or a one piece requires little thought.. Depending on age, body type, extra fluff the decision is made way before one enters the store to make the purchase.  

As you can see, many of life's decisions are fairly simple. We make them with hardly a thought.  We allow our feelings or emotions to push us into the decision we really want.  Even when it is the wrong one for us.  Yes, let's blame our emotions.  There we go.  Another decision.  But, then comes the time in each life when difficult decisions have to be made.

This time emotions take a back seat.  We lock them in the truck.  This time we need to think clearly.  We need to examine all the facts.  Look at them from all angles.  Think about the repercussions.  Make a list of pros and cons.  Include everything.  Even after carefully examining all the sides, we may still find ourselves confused.  What to do?  In times like these we sometimes resort to doing nothing.  To allowing life to continue as usual even though the usual means death to our spirits.  Sometimes it is just plain easier.

What separates people?  What enables some to make a difficult decision seem easy?  What prevents others from moving off dead center?  I find this quite interesting.  In both instances the people involved had to decide what they wanted.  What would make them happy.  What was the best between two good things.  Good, better, best.  Do we settle for good or better when best is calling our name?  Are some people content with routine while others behave badly if routine becomes the norm?  Is acceptance a piece of this pie?  Is acceptance a bad thing?  Golly gee.

Most of life is made up of small decisions.  I am so thankful for that.  The big ones are difficult.  What doctor?  What treatment?  What job?  Move?  Those are life changing.  They move us to a place where decisions are a must.  We have no choice.  We find ourselves in the middle of change, and know we must participate.  We can not be fence setters.  We have to jump into the arena of life.  Life may never look the same.  May never be the same.  The new normal requires more decisions.

We all face decisions.  Can't avoid them.  They are our constant companion even though we are often not aware they are with us.  We won't always make good ones.  Sometimes in life we shove that small voice in our head and heart right out the door.  We don't want to listen.  We want it our way.  Even when our way is certainly questionable.  Sometimes we suffer the consequences of those decisions made in a moment of haste.  However, even when our decisions are faulty, they provide us with life lessons.  They provide teachable moments.  If we learn and move forward in a new direction.

What decisions are facing you right at this moment?  What are facing me?  What will appear unannounced later this week or next?  Which way shall we go once we are faced with the challenge of a decision?

All of that is later!  Right now I think I have made the decision to have chocolate and vanilla-with whipped cream and a cherry.

The End Is Near

The End Is Near-

It is the day to pack.  Or rather throw everything into a suitcase.  Tomorrow we will board the silver bullet full of germs, coughs and sneezes.  We will take along hand sanitizer.  We will try to keep ourselves within the area of our chairs without bumping anyone's arm.  We will forgive the screaming child in front of us, and the one who constantly kicks our chair behind us.  Maybe we will sleep.  That helps pass the time.

What a wonderful time this has been.  Winter in the Pacific Northwest has been more like spring.  Warm temperatures and sunny skies most days.  Flowers bloomed early as did the flowering trees.  Leaves are now almost budding on trees and shrubs.  A perfect time.

We visited the coast numerous times.  The box we are shipping back weighs much more than it did on its trip out here.  That is because our search for agates at water's edge resulted in bags of beautiful objects.  All are going with us.  Reminders of all those times bent over searching among rocks and sand for the perfect treasure.

Making new friends was especially grand.  You know, the world is full of lovely people.  People who welcome the opportunity to chat over coffee.  People who offer help when it is needed without asking anything in return.  People who are kind and gracious.  Meeting new folks has enriched my life and provided lovely memories.

Plays, musicals and movies were part of this vacation.  We experienced such talent in local productions at one of our favorite theatres.  How delightful when people share their gifts of music and performance. A little culture is a mighty good thing.

Friends and family helped make this trip especially sweet.  We shared many of our favorite spots with a family who came to visit.  This was their first trip to the Pacific Northwest.  It won't be their last.  They shared their plans to return and search out new places and revisit the ones they loved.  Always fun to share something special with others.

We joined family on the coast for a couple of days.  What fun to make memories with them.  To have new adventures and revisit ones from past trips.

In an earlier blog I wrote that life can be divided into three areas.  I also wrote that this is not my thought.  I borrowed it from a book I read.  Can't remember the name of the book.  Anyway, the three areas are people, places and possessions.  People are first.  Places are second.  The best life would be if people and places were together.  However, often that is not the case.  If I could move the mountains, the coast, streams and trees to my home in the Midwest, life would be great.  Since that is not going to happen, it is necessary to visit the place that speaks to my soul as often as I can.  

Tomorrow we will pack the car, lock the door and drive to the airport.  This trip will be over.  But the wonderful memories will linger in my heart.  Did I say I am grateful for the opportunity to visit here?

After time away it will be good to see friends and family.  It will be good to sit down and catch up over lunch or coffee.  It will be good to share life again with so many I hold dear.  And then it will be time to move furniture around.  After all, it has been in the same place for months now.  It must be quite tired of its present location.  And life continues its rhythm.

A Line from Cinderella

See the world not as it is but how it could be.   Don't you simply love that thought?  That sentence was spoken at the end of a movie I attended recently.  The movie was fun, but those words made me stop and reflect.  How do I see the world?  Do I see it as the news portrays it, or do I see the possibilities?  Do I believe that humanity has the ability to right wrongs?  Or do I believe that there is very little hope for positive change?

Some people would say that to see anything as it could be means we are wearing rose-colored glasses.  We are not living in the real world.  We are living in the land of make believe.  Those good folks mean well.  They are the realists.  They accept the world as they see it.  Full of good and not so good.  To them it would be unrealistic to assume that change might be just around the corner.  It is much simpler to accept what is. If something does change for the better, they are quick to appreciate it.  However, they don't expect that to happen.  They expect life to continue as it is.  Very predictable.  No surprises.  Nothing to upset their applecart.

If I am to believe what I see on the news or read in the daily paper, there is little hope for a brighter future for humanity.  It seems most people prefer to read about disasters.  How people hurt one another.  Governments that cannot  make good decisions for its citizens.  Wars.  Conflicts.  Displaced people.  Hunger.  The list is truly endless.  All of this begs the question-who can we believe?  Who is reporting all the facts?  How much is propaganda?  Who can we trust?  Those in power never actually answer questions. They talk around the question until we are exhausted with listening.  Listening to nothing.  Just a voice that goes on and on.  Believing if they talk long enough, that will be enough.

Of course, we have the option of not reading the papers or watching the evening news or the twenty-four hour news channels.  No one forces us to sit and read or watch.  We do that of our own free will.  When we do that without challenging what we read or see, we are giving over our power for investigation.  We are accepting what others want us to see and believe.  With such easy access to the internet, we have the ability to search out what others are telling us.  However, doing a search takes time and energy.  We have to know where to look.  What the key words are.  How to interpret what we read.  It is much easier to accept what is being reported, isn't it?

Would a newspaper that reported only the good that happens everyday sell?  Or would it go bankrupt?  Would people rush out to purchase a copy just to see what new and wonderful thing humanity has accomplished?  What about a television channel?  Would anyone watch a channel where people were celebrated for the positive ways they are impacting society?  Or would it air a couple of times and then be cancelled?  I think it would be worth a try.  At least people would have a choice.  Maybe a mixture of the good and the not so good would provide a much more balanced approach to life.  Giving hope that even amid challenges,  people are hopeful.

Hopeful.  Yes, people continue to hope for a better world for everyone.  People continue to hope that researchers will find a cure for all illness.  That solutions for peace will become the norm.  That negotations will enable the world to be free from nuclear war.  That understanding will replace hostility.   What a blessing to be hopeful.  To know that the power for change is more than a possibility.  It is real. People can take that which needs to change, and change it.  Time is on our side.  Hope is within us.

Seeing the world not as it is but as it can be provides the driving force to move forward.  To embrace life.  To reach beyond ourselves and toward others.  To refuse to accept that this is the best it can be.  To move outside the security of the box we constructed around ourselves into the bigger world where we might be hurt.  To learn to trust again. To see what must change and become the one who takes the lead.  To joyfully embrace this one shot we are given.

May those who dream continue to see how it can be.  And may they move us along with them to that dream that refuses to be squelched.