Christmas Thoughts

Christmas Thoughts-

One would think that the holiday season would be the happiest time of the year.  The world decorates. Lights twinkle on trees in homes.  Stores draw attention to displays with lighting.  Ribbons and bows decorate doors.  Garlands of fresh greens grace mantles and furniture.  Dressed up trees grace homes.  Christmas music makes us smile and even sing along.  Presents are wrapped in festive colors.  Surprises abound.

Yet, amid all the attempts to convince the world that this is the most wonderful time of the year, often it is not.  The hype is all about getting that someone special the perfect gift.  Or making sure the children have everything they want.  I remember when our son was a little guy.  I handed him a catalog of children's toys and asked him to put an "x" on anything he would like for Christmas.  Gave him a crayon and left the room.  When I returned, he had marked everything on every page with that x.  And why not? I loved his response.

I do admit that a special gift selected just for me is a lovely thing.  I enjoy the hunt for something special for those in my circle, too.   It makes my heart smile to know they will enjoy a gift given from my heart.  Giving is the real purpose, right?  That is what retail tells us.

It's a funny thing about gifts.  While they are certainly appreciated and even loved, the most precious gifts cannot be purchased.  They won't fit in any size box.  They are those things we make the choice to give.  They include our time.  Maybe a lunch date.  Or a time over coffee with a friend or family member.  In today's world where families are on tight time schedules, the gift of a few moments to visit is priceless.  Letting someone know that they are loved and appreciated by giving the gift of a few moments will be remembered for a lifetime.

Maybe Christmas is about slowing down just a bit.  Don't we all enjoy a cup of hot chocolate piled high with marshmallows on a snowy or cold evening?  Or a glass of wine while visiting in front of a fire?  Maybe it is about reconnecting.  Reflecting on the year that has been.  Recounting the good and the not so good.  Relishing moments.  Being grateful.  Telling someone you love them.  Refusing to get caught up in media hype.  Or at least trying.

I know.  It is difficult to find time to just be.  But, it is necessary if we are to be whole and healthy.

Just like you, we will be busy with preparations.  We will purchase gifts for our loved ones and those special friends who bring such light and joy into our lives.  We will decorate our trees.  Garland strung with lights will grace the front door welcoming all who visit.  We will do special things for our family.  Those are all things we want to do.  We will play Christmas music in our house and car.  Just like everyone else.

What I hope is different for us this year is the knowledge that the holidays are not easy on people.  Many feel lonely and sad.  I have felt this way.  I know how it hurts.  That feeling that everyone is having a wonderful time, and you are not able to share in the joy.  It doesn't matter what causes those feelings.  During the holiday season when everything is about being together and being loved, feeling like others don't love you or that you are alone in this big world is magnified.  I want to be aware.  To be welcoming to those who may be putting up a good front.  To reach out beyond myself and offer friendship.

Before we know it, it will be a memory.  All the decorations will be placed in boxes and stored for another year.  Life will return to our normal-whatever that looks like.  We will say it was such a good holiday, and that we are happy it is over.  What must not return to normal is our forgetting that life is more than trees and presents.  It is all about people.  Wonderful folks who come in all sizes and shapes. Who come into our lives with gifts to give-gifts of friendship and love.  Gifts of caring.  Gifts of being there when our world is falling apart.  We must hold on to memories of our children and grandchildren laughing with us.  Cooking something special.  Sharing that once a year thing.  We must remember to love on one another every month of the year.

Tonight I read something in a book by Joel Osteen.  My son gave me the book for Christmas a few years ago.  He said a car has a large front windshield and a small rearview mirror.  The large front windshield is pointing us into our future. It is large because our world is large.  We don't know what awaits us, but we can be sure that God loves us and is helping us move toward a better, brighter tomorrow.  The rear windshield is small.  It represents our past.  That part of us that is filled with the good and the bad.  We cannot change it.  It is our choice if we live in that small window.  However, if we do that, we will never move forward toward our best.  I love that.  I am going to think about that everyday.  When the holidays are history, our life continues.

It is my hope and prayer that each of us take time to rest along the road to Christmas.  To celebrate.  To remember.  And to always keep the warmth of this special time in our hearts.

Merry Christmas.

Know What?

Know What?

It is time to bring joy and peace into this world.  It is time to stop carrying grudges.  It is time to care for one another.  It is time to find quiet in our own lives.  To stop the noise.  To stop the constant negative words and actions that have become the norm.  It is time to believe in the goodness of others.  To believe that life has meaning.  To believe that giving is more important than getting.

To reach out and bring others into our circle.  To listen instead of insisting on others listening to us.  To acknowledge that we are only one small speck in this vast universe.  To sing and dance for no reason other than we can.

To refuse to be drawn into negative conversations.  To find what is positive and nurture that.  To know that every action has  the power to change those in our space.  To think before we say something that might harm another.  Or damage another.  To knock that chip off our own shoulder thus allowing ourselves to be more  open to what might make its way into our life.

It is time to forgive.  To walk in love and peace.  To refuse to be drawn into drama after drama.  To acknowledge that differences exist but they need not define us.  To reach out and help others with simple acts.  Acts that show our true spirits.

It is time to stop the madness.  Time to stop pointing fingers and open our hands and hearts to others.  To have folks into our homes for meals and conversation.  To cherish family and friends.

Yes, it is time.

Expectations

Expectations--


A rainy afternoon.   Winter is announcing her arrival with cooler days and nights.  Snow can't be far behind.  All to be expected.

Expected.  An interesting word.  We live our lives with expectations.  Some we realize.  Others become distant dreams or wishes.  Living with expectations gives our life purpose.  Expecting a great concert means we are hyped up and ready to experience a good time.  Expecting a baby brings with it the promise of the future.  We plan, purchase, talk about this coming event.  We expect others to share in our joy.  Graduating from school whether it be college or a trade continues our expectation for earning a living wage.  Young people expect to make the team after hours and hours of practice.  The list continues.

Somewhere along life's continuim we expect to grow old.  We desire to live our life fully until the last breath.  We exercise, eat the right foods, keep positive thoughts at the front of our minds.  We engage in meaningful relationships with those we enjoy.  We develop hobbies that provide our minds and bodies with much needed things to do.  Our wish is to be vibrant until the last minute of our lives.  Growing old is not a bad thing.  In fact, it can be the most meaningful time of life.  Unless it is cut short by disease or accident.  Or by others wishing harm.

Wishing harm.  It can happen in relationships.  Families, friends, partners, husbands, wives have the ability to cause great harm to one another.  Could it be that the "I" in all relationships takes center stage thus allowing very little room for others?  Most plays engage multiple characters in dramas that work around one or two challenges.  The challenge is introduced.  We then have the opportunity to watch as the actors work through the problems in search of a solution.  Compromise is almost always part of the equation.  Not everyone gets everything.  Hopefully, everyone receives enough to continue.  And the play ends.  The stage grows dark.

Wishing harm cuts much deeper than this.  In our world wishing harm seems to be a way of life for some.  This is playing itself out on a national stage.  We are drawn into the pain and suffering of others in distant lands.  Those we do not know personally.  Yet, we do know them.  We are part of them.  We expect to go to work, to return home, to greet and be greeted by those we love and who love us.  We expect to visit over a coffee with friends perhaps discussing coming events or holiday plans. We expect to wake up to a new day.  Just like they did.  When violence rips these expectations out from under us, we are left wondering how we got to this place.

I struggle with this.

However, amid the destruction of lives comes a new day.  A day like no other, to be sure.  We cannot avoid that new day.  It has to be faced and walked through.  Lives are forever changed.  Beliefs shift.  Tolerance and acceptance become issues that tear at our deepest self.  We know what we never dreamed we would know.  Violence has showed its ugly head.  Nothing is the same.

Because of these events, new expectations arise.  We walk forward understanding that peace is not a dream.  It is an expectation.  We can be assured that one day nations will grasp the fact that we are so much richer and better when we learn tolerance toward one another.  That our differences need not end in conflict.  That we can come together in small groups and communities to talk about who we are. And  we can listen to others.  No one has the absolute corner on everything.  By spending time in conversation we open ourselves to greater understanding.  We also give others the opportunity to understand us.

Expectations.  They propel us forward toward what we view as worthy.  May we always live with her guiding us on our journey.