Drivers During Holiday Shopping
Somewhere deep in the heart of the city people gather. They gather under cover of the fast approaching dawn. Each is handed an assignment. Once they have listened to the plan and examined the contents of their envelope, they leave.
Meanwhile, unsuspecting folks ready themselves for holiday shopping. Armed with full gas tanks, giant cups of coffee, long lists, money and credit cards, and a healthy dose of anticipation, these folks march to their transportation and head off to do serious business. Little do they know that a plan has been set in motion that will test their patience and their choice of colorful words.
Not only do these holiday shoppers have all of the above, but they also have a map. Backtracking is not an option. If they follow the map and their time line, everything will be accomplished just like they planned. With coupons and lists on the seat beside them, off they go to their first destination.
Everything is going as planned. Traffic is moving along at the speed limit. This is going to be a piece of Christmas candy. And then it happens. A car moves in front. Everything changes in a heart beat. The person driving the car in front has decided that the speed limit is way too fast. Better to slow all the traffic down. Besides, it saves gas when one drives slowly. This requires the shopper to slam on the brakes to avoid kissing the rear end of that slow moving car. Did I mention how quickly positive attitudes change?
The shopper glances at both lanes. Maybe it will be possible to move into either the lane to the right or left. But no. Both of those lanes are almost bumper to bumper. Now those choice words begin to form in the brain. Exactly who is driving that car? What do they think they are doing? Boy, would I--oh, I mean that shopper like to give that person a piece of their mind. Don't they understand that everything can be accomplished if the schedule is maintained? Evidently they don't. Even when the shopper almost touches the bumper, the speed does not change.
While all of this frustration is happening in the shopper's car, the little blue haired person in the car in front is smiling. The plan is working perfectly. They were able to move into the lane in front of this selected car and have been there ever since. This little person knows that all over town others are doing the same thing. What a blast they are having.
Ok. Maybe there really isn't a conspiracy out there on the parkway. Maybe all these folks really don't gather in a secret location to cause mischief. Maybe I am the only one who finds myself trapped behind these people who wear headscarves over their blue hair. Maybe there is a reason that I am the one who is selected. What I do know is it takes all my will power to control the urge to think nasty thoughts about those sweet little people. Wait! Who said they were sweet?
A solution would be to shop late at night. Surely those folks would be in bed with their hair nets in place. Traffic should be less and hopefully, they will all be moving at the designated speed limit.
However, I like to think that somewhere out there....
Tuesday, December 16, 2014
Monday, December 15, 2014
The Blue Canopy
The Blue Canopy
Cars and trucks raced by us. The speed limit was only a guideline on this busy Saturday a week and a half away from Christmas. I could imagine lists being read as each automobile made its way toward its destination. Only a little time to get it all done.
We were stopped by a red light at a very busy intersection. A few scooted through the yellow light. I usually do that, too. However, people had on their serious faces. They were out with a purpose, and I didn't want to get caught in their way halfway under that yellow light. Better to wait my real turn.
While we were waiting for the light to change, I noticed all the different businesses. Some had panel trucks setting in the lot. One had small semis parked beside the side door. No business at that intersection had any Christmas decorations. On the outside anyway. It was business as usual for them.
Looking to my left I saw a cemetery. That was not unusual. Cemeteries dot the landscape in most cities. What caught my attention was the blue top of a canopy. Once I saw that, I knew that one family was not thinking about traffic or decorations. That family was grieving.
In the midst of all the motion of life, life had ceased for someone. A stranger I will never know. That group of mourners were thinking about other things. Perhaps they were talking about the service that honored their person. Maybe they were thinking quiet thoughts about memories shared. Or maybe they were wiping away tears as they made their way to the cemetery. With cars hurrying by, those folks would stand beside the gravesite and say their last goodbyes.
When I was younger, I didn't understand why the whole world didn't stop when someone I loved died. How could those people be so uncaring? It simply seemed wrong to my young brain. Things should stop. Everyone should be quiet and respectful. Those are the things I thought when I was much younger.
A little side story-When I was a college student, the local funeral home hired me to sing at funerals. Mostly I sang at those services when the family needed someone. Someone from the funeral home would drive to the college and get me. I would walk into the room and take my place behind a wall of flowers and plants out of view of the family or those attending. I would usually sing two songs and then exit the room. I would be taken back to college to resume my day.
I never stayed for the service. Except one time. I was called to sing a song for a woman who had been in prison. It was obvious there were only a few people attending. That time I stayed out of respect for the woman who had few people to mourn her passing. That particular funeral made a lasting impression on me.
Over the years I have sung at many funerals. Some for friends, some for students, some for family. After so many years of doing this, you would think it would be easy. The truth is it never is easy.
Back to Saturday.
The light finally changed, and we continued our journey. Yet that blue canopy is still in my mind. I can see it clearly. It told the rest of the world that someone had left. Someone's journey had come to an end. Someone knows what I have yet to know. It made me think.
Time is precious. Time is such a gift. We think we have tons of it. And maybe some of us do. We should cherish it. We should guard how we use it. We should make the most of it. We simply do not know how many ticks on the clock of time we have. We must not allow ourselves to believe that we can put off what needs to be said or done because we believe we have time to do it at a later date. If something needs to be said, say it. If someone needs to know how much they mean to us, tell them. If we need to apologize, do it. If someone's name comes to our mind, seek them out.
The people who would be standing beneath that blue canopy gave me a gift. They reminded me that time does not stand still. It continues. And while I still have time, I must celebrate it. For one day it will end.
Cars and trucks raced by us. The speed limit was only a guideline on this busy Saturday a week and a half away from Christmas. I could imagine lists being read as each automobile made its way toward its destination. Only a little time to get it all done.
We were stopped by a red light at a very busy intersection. A few scooted through the yellow light. I usually do that, too. However, people had on their serious faces. They were out with a purpose, and I didn't want to get caught in their way halfway under that yellow light. Better to wait my real turn.
While we were waiting for the light to change, I noticed all the different businesses. Some had panel trucks setting in the lot. One had small semis parked beside the side door. No business at that intersection had any Christmas decorations. On the outside anyway. It was business as usual for them.
Looking to my left I saw a cemetery. That was not unusual. Cemeteries dot the landscape in most cities. What caught my attention was the blue top of a canopy. Once I saw that, I knew that one family was not thinking about traffic or decorations. That family was grieving.
In the midst of all the motion of life, life had ceased for someone. A stranger I will never know. That group of mourners were thinking about other things. Perhaps they were talking about the service that honored their person. Maybe they were thinking quiet thoughts about memories shared. Or maybe they were wiping away tears as they made their way to the cemetery. With cars hurrying by, those folks would stand beside the gravesite and say their last goodbyes.
When I was younger, I didn't understand why the whole world didn't stop when someone I loved died. How could those people be so uncaring? It simply seemed wrong to my young brain. Things should stop. Everyone should be quiet and respectful. Those are the things I thought when I was much younger.
A little side story-When I was a college student, the local funeral home hired me to sing at funerals. Mostly I sang at those services when the family needed someone. Someone from the funeral home would drive to the college and get me. I would walk into the room and take my place behind a wall of flowers and plants out of view of the family or those attending. I would usually sing two songs and then exit the room. I would be taken back to college to resume my day.
I never stayed for the service. Except one time. I was called to sing a song for a woman who had been in prison. It was obvious there were only a few people attending. That time I stayed out of respect for the woman who had few people to mourn her passing. That particular funeral made a lasting impression on me.
Over the years I have sung at many funerals. Some for friends, some for students, some for family. After so many years of doing this, you would think it would be easy. The truth is it never is easy.
Back to Saturday.
The light finally changed, and we continued our journey. Yet that blue canopy is still in my mind. I can see it clearly. It told the rest of the world that someone had left. Someone's journey had come to an end. Someone knows what I have yet to know. It made me think.
Time is precious. Time is such a gift. We think we have tons of it. And maybe some of us do. We should cherish it. We should guard how we use it. We should make the most of it. We simply do not know how many ticks on the clock of time we have. We must not allow ourselves to believe that we can put off what needs to be said or done because we believe we have time to do it at a later date. If something needs to be said, say it. If someone needs to know how much they mean to us, tell them. If we need to apologize, do it. If someone's name comes to our mind, seek them out.
The people who would be standing beneath that blue canopy gave me a gift. They reminded me that time does not stand still. It continues. And while I still have time, I must celebrate it. For one day it will end.
Tuesday, December 9, 2014
Putting Up Our Tree
Putting Up Our Tree
So I asked him to bring in the tree. He said which one. I said the one that is in the best shape..and so it started.
Later that day he asked me to join him on the patio. There were four boxes with trees inside, three standing askew, a couple in small pots with broken pieces. Yes, it is Christmas. The time to make merry and spread love all around. Just not quite yet, I thought.
It was necessary to remove the boxed trees and set them up to see which one was the least ruined. Which one had lights that worked. That took quite a bit of time--outside time in the cold. Eventually we decided which ones could come into the house. The others--too bad shape to even give away.
Now, you need to understand that we do this every year. We always say we are going to discard the worn out ones-the ones with lights that appear at the very bottom, maybe in the middle, but definitely not all over the tree. Every year we do this dance. This year would be different. I made the decision to purchase a new one. The dance would be happy and joyful. The tree would go up. All the lights would shine. It would be lovely.
Off we went to find that perfect tree. We did find it. Bought it and brought it home. He began to assemble it. Since I was busy with other things, I didn't go into the room until he said it was ready to present itself for adoration. I was not prepared for what I saw. The tree completely overtook the end of the room. And the top touched the ceiling and then turned itself down toward the floor--quite a bit of it did that bend. I stood in awe. Really? All that work. All the white snowy stuff all over the floor and furniture, and it was the wrong size. How did that happen?
A phone call to the store-It was their mistake. We could return it. So it was loaded into our truck a day later and returned. After quite awhile examining the choices, I decided nothing would work. So I called him at home. Put up the least awful one, please. However, there was a problem. Only about one fourth of the lights actually worked. Since the tree was flocked, all the lights were flocked, too. That meant no new lights would work. They were not original to the tree.
He said he would take pliers and cut all the strands off the tree so we could put new ones on. Now, that is quite the job. The strands were wound around almost all the branches. He spent hours removing all those lights. Filled a garbage bag. And while he was performing that surgery, I left to purchase new lights.
Have you seen the boxes and rows of light choices? I was in shock. What to purchase? Which would work? Which were wrong? Eventually I made the decision and left with my arms loaded with lights. He put them on the tree. I walked into the room. They were awful. Absolutely awful. Off they came. He put them back into the boxes and out the door I went. The return line was so long I gave up. Instead, I went back to the rows and rows of lights and made a different decsion. I purchased boxes and boxes of lights. Surely one of these would work.
Back home he dutifully put the new lights on the tree. Did I know that they were attached to green and white cords? No, I didn't. When I looked at the tree, I saw that we had both colors--green and white. And I said they were perfect. Thank you for all that hard work. It will work. It does make sense. White cords for white trees and green for green. We have both. Proudly we have both.
The tree sat for several days with no decorations. I could not bring myself to deal with it. She kept beckoning me to make her pretty. I resisted. Putting up a tree had already been quite an ordeal. Was it really necessary to have one? I did make the decision to dress her. She looks lovely at the end of the room. However, we have already decided that she will not come into the house again. This is her last year to shine in this house. Somewhere in the back of my mind is the nagging thought that we will do this all over next year.
The good thing about all of this is we didn't quarrel once. We did a lot of laughing and talking, but we didn't get stressed out about it. It was a challenge. It was nothing serious or life changing. It was simply a tree. I did consider a live one--or one that was alive at some point early last fall. Then I remembered all the sharp needles that covered the floor around and under the last live one we brought into the house.
She doesn't know this is her last year. We tell her how pretty she is and how much we are enjoying her. We plug her in so she can shine for all who visit. Oh no. As I write this, I am almost convinced that she can return.....She is like an old friend who is a little worn but precious. She is covered in memories. She has character.
Who would have thought....
So I asked him to bring in the tree. He said which one. I said the one that is in the best shape..and so it started.
Later that day he asked me to join him on the patio. There were four boxes with trees inside, three standing askew, a couple in small pots with broken pieces. Yes, it is Christmas. The time to make merry and spread love all around. Just not quite yet, I thought.
It was necessary to remove the boxed trees and set them up to see which one was the least ruined. Which one had lights that worked. That took quite a bit of time--outside time in the cold. Eventually we decided which ones could come into the house. The others--too bad shape to even give away.
Now, you need to understand that we do this every year. We always say we are going to discard the worn out ones-the ones with lights that appear at the very bottom, maybe in the middle, but definitely not all over the tree. Every year we do this dance. This year would be different. I made the decision to purchase a new one. The dance would be happy and joyful. The tree would go up. All the lights would shine. It would be lovely.
Off we went to find that perfect tree. We did find it. Bought it and brought it home. He began to assemble it. Since I was busy with other things, I didn't go into the room until he said it was ready to present itself for adoration. I was not prepared for what I saw. The tree completely overtook the end of the room. And the top touched the ceiling and then turned itself down toward the floor--quite a bit of it did that bend. I stood in awe. Really? All that work. All the white snowy stuff all over the floor and furniture, and it was the wrong size. How did that happen?
A phone call to the store-It was their mistake. We could return it. So it was loaded into our truck a day later and returned. After quite awhile examining the choices, I decided nothing would work. So I called him at home. Put up the least awful one, please. However, there was a problem. Only about one fourth of the lights actually worked. Since the tree was flocked, all the lights were flocked, too. That meant no new lights would work. They were not original to the tree.
He said he would take pliers and cut all the strands off the tree so we could put new ones on. Now, that is quite the job. The strands were wound around almost all the branches. He spent hours removing all those lights. Filled a garbage bag. And while he was performing that surgery, I left to purchase new lights.
Have you seen the boxes and rows of light choices? I was in shock. What to purchase? Which would work? Which were wrong? Eventually I made the decision and left with my arms loaded with lights. He put them on the tree. I walked into the room. They were awful. Absolutely awful. Off they came. He put them back into the boxes and out the door I went. The return line was so long I gave up. Instead, I went back to the rows and rows of lights and made a different decsion. I purchased boxes and boxes of lights. Surely one of these would work.
Back home he dutifully put the new lights on the tree. Did I know that they were attached to green and white cords? No, I didn't. When I looked at the tree, I saw that we had both colors--green and white. And I said they were perfect. Thank you for all that hard work. It will work. It does make sense. White cords for white trees and green for green. We have both. Proudly we have both.
The tree sat for several days with no decorations. I could not bring myself to deal with it. She kept beckoning me to make her pretty. I resisted. Putting up a tree had already been quite an ordeal. Was it really necessary to have one? I did make the decision to dress her. She looks lovely at the end of the room. However, we have already decided that she will not come into the house again. This is her last year to shine in this house. Somewhere in the back of my mind is the nagging thought that we will do this all over next year.
The good thing about all of this is we didn't quarrel once. We did a lot of laughing and talking, but we didn't get stressed out about it. It was a challenge. It was nothing serious or life changing. It was simply a tree. I did consider a live one--or one that was alive at some point early last fall. Then I remembered all the sharp needles that covered the floor around and under the last live one we brought into the house.
She doesn't know this is her last year. We tell her how pretty she is and how much we are enjoying her. We plug her in so she can shine for all who visit. Oh no. As I write this, I am almost convinced that she can return.....She is like an old friend who is a little worn but precious. She is covered in memories. She has character.
Who would have thought....
Thoughts about Christmas
Thoughts About Christmas
Soon it will be Christmas. Exactly what does that mean?
One thing it means is hope. Hope for peace in a world that has never ceasing conflict. When we think about conflict, we often think of nations fighting against one another. We think about people being displaced. We think about suffering and anguish. Yet, conflict is often part of our everyday lives.
Conflict is magnified at Christmas. At the time when we should be the most hopeful, there is often a sense of loss. Of things not being quite right. That someone we should enjoy does not feel the same. That a relationship has suffered damage. It doesn't matter what caused the conflict. What matters is not losing hope that things can be made right. Hope keeps us moving toward better times. Better relationships. Deeper understanding.
Another meaning is love. Not the mushy type but real love. Love that sees need and moves to help. It is an action. A way of living that brings people together. It sees good in others. It doesn't hold on to bad feelings but replaces them with positive thoughts. It opens itself up to others and welcomes everyone.
Then there is the word welcome. Welcome suggests warmth. It is easy to understand that word. We all have experienced a welcoming spirit. We love to be in its presence. We are reluctant to leave. We know within our spirits that this person truly cares for us. We know that we can return as often as we want, and that spirit will always welcome us.
What about acceptance? Does Christmas suggest that word? If it doesn't, it should. What is gained from pushing others away? What does that say about our own spirit? Sure, we all have warts. We all have behaviors that push other's buttons. It is a two way street, right? So, how do we move toward acceptance when we simply don't want to let go of our own anger or frustration? How do we embrace others with honesty and care?
And then there is peace. When I think of that word, I think of quiet. I think of calm. I think of beauty. Peace can come when we least expect it. In the midst of hurt, it is possible to find that place of peace that gets us through. It sustains us. It wraps us in arms of gentleness and encourages us. It washes over our wounded spirit and reassures us that we are not alone.
Let's not forget sharing. Lucky are those who have friends and family to share this time with. In the hustle and bustle of going at full speed, it is easy to forget about those who are lonely. Those who would give anything to have someone to share the holiday with. It is easy to forget to look outside ourselves. Yet, that is exactly what Christmas is about. Seeing outside ourselves.
Yes, the list of words that describe Christmas is endless. It is bright lights and lighted trees. It is decorated homes and sometimes reindeer antlers on cars. It is shopping for the right gift for a special person. It is sending greetings to others. It is parties and food and packages. It is secrets that others try to locate. It is giving. It is time spent over coffee with new friends who might be experiencing life away from loved ones for the first time. It is all of this and so much more.
It is about a child who was born to bring all of this and more into the world. A child who grew into a man who cared about others. Who spoke about peace. Who left no one out. Who accepted all. Who shared stories and parables about how to bring this world into its true fullness. Who taught us that loving others, understanding others, working through conflicts is possible. Who showed us by example how to open ourselves to others. Who placed hope within us. Hope for a peaceful world-both far away and in our own homes and families.
In the midst of this season I am sure each of us will examine our own lives and make new decisions about who we want to be. The wonderful thing about this is we get to start over every day. We get to show peace and love. We get to welcome others into our circle of friends. We get a do-over. I love that. I need those opportunities to make life better. I need more chances to let others know how precious they are to me. I need more time. I hope I have it.
And I hope you have the same opportunities to examine your own life. When each of us work to make life better for all, we will have achieved the true meaning of Christmas.
Soon it will be Christmas. Exactly what does that mean?
One thing it means is hope. Hope for peace in a world that has never ceasing conflict. When we think about conflict, we often think of nations fighting against one another. We think about people being displaced. We think about suffering and anguish. Yet, conflict is often part of our everyday lives.
Conflict is magnified at Christmas. At the time when we should be the most hopeful, there is often a sense of loss. Of things not being quite right. That someone we should enjoy does not feel the same. That a relationship has suffered damage. It doesn't matter what caused the conflict. What matters is not losing hope that things can be made right. Hope keeps us moving toward better times. Better relationships. Deeper understanding.
Another meaning is love. Not the mushy type but real love. Love that sees need and moves to help. It is an action. A way of living that brings people together. It sees good in others. It doesn't hold on to bad feelings but replaces them with positive thoughts. It opens itself up to others and welcomes everyone.
Then there is the word welcome. Welcome suggests warmth. It is easy to understand that word. We all have experienced a welcoming spirit. We love to be in its presence. We are reluctant to leave. We know within our spirits that this person truly cares for us. We know that we can return as often as we want, and that spirit will always welcome us.
What about acceptance? Does Christmas suggest that word? If it doesn't, it should. What is gained from pushing others away? What does that say about our own spirit? Sure, we all have warts. We all have behaviors that push other's buttons. It is a two way street, right? So, how do we move toward acceptance when we simply don't want to let go of our own anger or frustration? How do we embrace others with honesty and care?
And then there is peace. When I think of that word, I think of quiet. I think of calm. I think of beauty. Peace can come when we least expect it. In the midst of hurt, it is possible to find that place of peace that gets us through. It sustains us. It wraps us in arms of gentleness and encourages us. It washes over our wounded spirit and reassures us that we are not alone.
Let's not forget sharing. Lucky are those who have friends and family to share this time with. In the hustle and bustle of going at full speed, it is easy to forget about those who are lonely. Those who would give anything to have someone to share the holiday with. It is easy to forget to look outside ourselves. Yet, that is exactly what Christmas is about. Seeing outside ourselves.
Yes, the list of words that describe Christmas is endless. It is bright lights and lighted trees. It is decorated homes and sometimes reindeer antlers on cars. It is shopping for the right gift for a special person. It is sending greetings to others. It is parties and food and packages. It is secrets that others try to locate. It is giving. It is time spent over coffee with new friends who might be experiencing life away from loved ones for the first time. It is all of this and so much more.
It is about a child who was born to bring all of this and more into the world. A child who grew into a man who cared about others. Who spoke about peace. Who left no one out. Who accepted all. Who shared stories and parables about how to bring this world into its true fullness. Who taught us that loving others, understanding others, working through conflicts is possible. Who showed us by example how to open ourselves to others. Who placed hope within us. Hope for a peaceful world-both far away and in our own homes and families.
In the midst of this season I am sure each of us will examine our own lives and make new decisions about who we want to be. The wonderful thing about this is we get to start over every day. We get to show peace and love. We get to welcome others into our circle of friends. We get a do-over. I love that. I need those opportunities to make life better. I need more chances to let others know how precious they are to me. I need more time. I hope I have it.
And I hope you have the same opportunities to examine your own life. When each of us work to make life better for all, we will have achieved the true meaning of Christmas.
Friday, November 21, 2014
A Rich Life
A Rich Life--
Rich is a word that has many meanings. In today's world it is used to designate the 1% who control the biggest chunk of money/assets. At least that is the connotation one understands when listening to the news or reading certain publications. That 1% has it all. All the money, the multiple homes, private jets, expensive jewelry, stocks that pay huge dividends, classy automobiles, the finest in clothing. Yes, the 1% do enjoy the finer things in life if finer is defined as material possessions.
While I am sure there are many greedy people in that small percentage, my guess is there are many who live charitable lives. They give back from what they have been given. Certainly not all of the 1% are money grubbing people wishing to make life miserable for those who do not have what they have.
But, this is not written for that small group of people. I seriously doubt that one of that group would ever come in contact with anything I write. Hey--there is a challenge in those words. Wonder if I could get someone to actually read a blog or a book? Hmmmmm..I shall have to give this some thought. I love a challenge.
This is written for all the rest of us. Those of us who actually have more than enough to live a full life. Those of us who have bills but manage to pay them and help others, too. Those of us who see life from a different playing field.
So, what is a rich life? What does it look like? What does it feel like? How can you tell if your life or anyone's life is rich? Is there a certain look? Do we observe certain behaviors that give us a little peek into a rich life? So many questions. And they are actually easy to answer.
From where I stand, there are many ways to identify a rich life. Most of them have nothing to do with personal finances or address. They have to do with a life that is characterized by a welcoming spirit. No one is excluded. All are welcome. Another give-away is the quality of relationships that bless lives. Those who possess a rich life--by my definition--are those who desire to be of help to others. They may never speak of the good they have done. Others knowing is not important. What is important is they saw a need and were able to meet it.
Sometimes these folks spend a portion of their day meditating or reading their Bible or other religious books. They seek that peace that comes from listening to their spirits. They desire to live a full life-one that welcomes whatever each day brings. Now, I don't mean they welcome illness or tragedy. They know that these things come into lives unannounced. When these types of challenges happen, they are surrounded by friends and family who have shared their rich life. They have experienced their goodness. They have probably eaten at their table, shared stories, solved problems.
Some who live rich lives become leaders. Others are content to lead from the back. Both are needed. Both fulfill necessary functions. I am content to put the chairs in a row for a group meeting. I don't always feel the need to be up front. There is a sweetness in making things good for others. In taking care of the grunt work. In being available for the lowest jobs. At other times, I enjoy sharing what I have learned or experienced.
A rich life is probably full of people. Full of laughter, shared tears, shared dreams both fun-filled and broken. A rich life is grateful and thankful all the time. It sees that glass as neither half empty or half full, but overflowing. It experiences joy in seeing children laughing and playing, in observing wildflowers growing along the roadside, in greeting a friend. It accepts what is while at the same time reaches for that next step. It does not hold grudges but seeks to make peace. It doesn't keep score. There is no joy in that for anyone.
A rich life--beautiful to see, beautiful to experience. Something to reach for-something to cherish.
Tuesday, November 18, 2014
An Idea for Doing Good
An Idea for Doing Good-
Something happened that I believe is worth sharing. In fact, it might even be called a model.
During a sermon at our church, our pastor said these words. "Share the Love." Those words went straight to my heart. I have no idea what he said after those words or before them. He used that sentence in the middle of his message. Simple words. An imperative sentence. A command.
That afternoon I sat thinking about those words. How could I share the love? What action should I take? Was I missing something simple that I could do for others? Was it possible that I was refusing to see need even when I could offer help? These and other thoughts rumbled around in my brain trying to find a place to rest. But rest was not found. Instead I continued to think. What? Who? Where? When? How?
Slowly an idea began to form. Why hadn't I thought of it before? Here is what happened in a very short time. Someone suggested it could be a model for others. Please let me know if you decide to Share the Love!
I contacted 25 of my women friends.
I asked them if they would be willing to join me in purchasing 100 pairs of undies for women in a shelter for abused women.
I set a date for either picking them up or having them dropped off at my house.
That was it. We collected 110 pairs of undies in a week. Most of these women are employed so I offered to purchase for them knowing how busy life is for moms with children. Some asked me to take care of it for them.
And then the decision was made to continue the project.
Each person would donate $10 a month. Since there were 25 of us, that meant we could gift women/children with $250 each month. Ten dollars doesn't go very far, but $250 does. So, everyone donated $10, and we made another donation to Healthy Start. This is a group that helps young girls who are pregnant receive training and care during pregnancy and mentoring for two years after they give birth.
We decided to keep it going.
Then one of our members died quite suddenly. Such saddness. But, because of Susie, people sent memorials to our little group of 25 women. So, we have been able to give away over $1000 to help women and children.
We have no bank account. We are not a not- for- profit. We are simply a group of caring women who wish to help other women who find themselves in need. Each month we will have at least $250 to give away.
Would you and your friends be willing to take the challenge of doing something so simple that has such impact on the lives of others in need? Ten dollars a month goes a long way when it is put together with other ten dollars. I can almost see the faces of those who receive. Oh--we don't use our names. We simply gift. After all, it isn't about us.
We set up a private group on Facebook so we can communicate our thoughts. We share our ideas for gifting on that site.
I have thrown this idea out there into the universe. Please share with me if you decide to use this model to do good in your neighborhood. What a blessing it has been for all of us.
Wednesday, November 12, 2014
Need a Renovation?
Need a Renovation?
Ever think you need a renovation? Seems like everything in our world is renovated at least two or three times. What was old becomes new again. Or so they say. I think it is a vicious cycle. Those in control of the trendy colors, furniture, appliances and everything else that is part of a house know how to get into our pocketbooks. First, they make us doubt. We begin to think about what could be more modern in our house. It might begin by spending time in home decor magazines. Doesn't take long for what we saw to become what we need. At that point it is all over.
Our house needed so much work when we purchased it. Over the years we have done a little here and a little there. We have changed colors, changed flooring, changed windows, added to. It actually would have been easier to buy a new home. I do think about that. A new home with large rooms. What joy to have multiple seating areas. Or to have a real dining room. Or bedrooms that are spacious and gracious.
But, we are probably here for the long haul. We love our little place in the country. Warts and all. Small rooms and all. It is true. We may have reached the end of renovations...
What about you and me? Do we ever think we need a renovation? Would a little tuck here and there make us better? Bring us to a better place in life? What about a face lift? Would that make us young again? Would our new face match our hands or arms or neck? Guess the neck can be done when the face is pulled tightly behind our ears. What about boobs? Are we sexy when our girls are lifted?
If I weren't so afraid of surgery, I might decide to pick a couple of those mentioned things and go for it. But the thought of surgery makes my blood run cold. If changing yourelf makes you feel better, I say go for it. I will watch you do it. I will tell you how wonderful you look. I will celebrate with you. And then I will look in the mirror and sigh. The wrinkles are getting deeper. Bags are more difficult to camouflague. Laugh lines outline my eyes. Sigh...
Yes, I could use a renovation. However, more important than the outward self is the inner self. That is where the real work begins. Prejudices that I know are just under the skin need to be cut away. Criticism about things I don't understand or agree with has the power to take over my thoughts at times. Those are just two of the projects I can take on at any time. They are outdated. They are not trendy. Actually, I do work on those and others. Just like my house, when I stand back and observe, I see areas that need a little lift. Need to be updated. Need to be replaced. For me, that is where the real work lies.
Absolutely I will use creams. I will cleanse. I will moisturize. I will use age fighting cosmetics. Why not? I do want to put my best face forward. I love it when someone tells me I am aging well. Even when they aren't wearing their glasses.
Renovation gives us the opportunity to make changes. To rethink how we want something to look.
To update so that our life is enriched. To take something worn and replace it with something new. And just as our homes are never finished, neither are we. We can always be better. We can always make changes that draw people to us rather than repel them. We can examine our lives with a critical eye and then use what we learned to give ourselves a fresh start.
It takes a plan. First, we see what is. Then, we decide what to do to make things better, Finally, we do the work to make the change a reality. After all the work, it is time to sit back and enjoy the new and improved--home and self.
Ever think you need a renovation? Seems like everything in our world is renovated at least two or three times. What was old becomes new again. Or so they say. I think it is a vicious cycle. Those in control of the trendy colors, furniture, appliances and everything else that is part of a house know how to get into our pocketbooks. First, they make us doubt. We begin to think about what could be more modern in our house. It might begin by spending time in home decor magazines. Doesn't take long for what we saw to become what we need. At that point it is all over.
Our house needed so much work when we purchased it. Over the years we have done a little here and a little there. We have changed colors, changed flooring, changed windows, added to. It actually would have been easier to buy a new home. I do think about that. A new home with large rooms. What joy to have multiple seating areas. Or to have a real dining room. Or bedrooms that are spacious and gracious.
But, we are probably here for the long haul. We love our little place in the country. Warts and all. Small rooms and all. It is true. We may have reached the end of renovations...
What about you and me? Do we ever think we need a renovation? Would a little tuck here and there make us better? Bring us to a better place in life? What about a face lift? Would that make us young again? Would our new face match our hands or arms or neck? Guess the neck can be done when the face is pulled tightly behind our ears. What about boobs? Are we sexy when our girls are lifted?
If I weren't so afraid of surgery, I might decide to pick a couple of those mentioned things and go for it. But the thought of surgery makes my blood run cold. If changing yourelf makes you feel better, I say go for it. I will watch you do it. I will tell you how wonderful you look. I will celebrate with you. And then I will look in the mirror and sigh. The wrinkles are getting deeper. Bags are more difficult to camouflague. Laugh lines outline my eyes. Sigh...
Yes, I could use a renovation. However, more important than the outward self is the inner self. That is where the real work begins. Prejudices that I know are just under the skin need to be cut away. Criticism about things I don't understand or agree with has the power to take over my thoughts at times. Those are just two of the projects I can take on at any time. They are outdated. They are not trendy. Actually, I do work on those and others. Just like my house, when I stand back and observe, I see areas that need a little lift. Need to be updated. Need to be replaced. For me, that is where the real work lies.
Absolutely I will use creams. I will cleanse. I will moisturize. I will use age fighting cosmetics. Why not? I do want to put my best face forward. I love it when someone tells me I am aging well. Even when they aren't wearing their glasses.
Renovation gives us the opportunity to make changes. To rethink how we want something to look.
To update so that our life is enriched. To take something worn and replace it with something new. And just as our homes are never finished, neither are we. We can always be better. We can always make changes that draw people to us rather than repel them. We can examine our lives with a critical eye and then use what we learned to give ourselves a fresh start.
It takes a plan. First, we see what is. Then, we decide what to do to make things better, Finally, we do the work to make the change a reality. After all the work, it is time to sit back and enjoy the new and improved--home and self.
Tuesday, November 11, 2014
Incredible Women
Incredible Women
I have the most incredible women friends. They enrich my life in so many ways. They are talented, intelligent, caring, fun-loving people. They are different from one another, yet they share one thing in common. They love helping others. And because they love helping others who need help, I asked them to join me in a special project. We call our project Share the Love. The interesting thing about this group of amazing women is many don't know one another. We live in different towns, work in different places, attend different churches. Yet, we all came together to do this one thing-help other women.
All it took was one email. One email inviting them to join me in sharing what we have with women who are less fortunate. One email. That is the type of friends I have. They responded immediately in such a positive way. And Share the Love was born.
My husband and I have lived in several states. Moving teaches you many things. One of the lessons is if you want to have friends, you have to take the first step. You have to spend time together. You have to communicate. You have to share some interests. You cannot wait for others to knock on your door. You must be willing to do the door knocking. Of course, not everyone you meet will become a best buddy. But over the years many have.
I have spent time with each of the women in this group. We have shared stories about kids and jobs and life. We have laughed together and cried together. We have talked for hours at a time. We have shared a bottle--or two--of wine. We have attended events together. Because of this, I felt good about asking them to join me in this project.
Because we have shared life in so many ways, it seemed natural to ask them to walk down this path with me. I know them. I know their heart. I know their goodness. Isn't that what life is about? Sharing it with others?
Know what? There is always room for one more friend. One more special person who can teach me something new. One more woman who has stories to share. One more. Then one more. And another. As I am writing this, my heart is so full with joy just thinking about how much better I am as a person because all these incredible women walked into my life. I hope I have given something in return that has blessed them.
Our project is called Share the Love. But, we have opportunities every single day to share love and care with those who come into our lives. It is not limited to a project. It is much bigger than any project. It is life happening.
I have the most incredible women friends. They enrich my life in so many ways. They are talented, intelligent, caring, fun-loving people. They are different from one another, yet they share one thing in common. They love helping others. And because they love helping others who need help, I asked them to join me in a special project. We call our project Share the Love. The interesting thing about this group of amazing women is many don't know one another. We live in different towns, work in different places, attend different churches. Yet, we all came together to do this one thing-help other women.
All it took was one email. One email inviting them to join me in sharing what we have with women who are less fortunate. One email. That is the type of friends I have. They responded immediately in such a positive way. And Share the Love was born.
My husband and I have lived in several states. Moving teaches you many things. One of the lessons is if you want to have friends, you have to take the first step. You have to spend time together. You have to communicate. You have to share some interests. You cannot wait for others to knock on your door. You must be willing to do the door knocking. Of course, not everyone you meet will become a best buddy. But over the years many have.
I have spent time with each of the women in this group. We have shared stories about kids and jobs and life. We have laughed together and cried together. We have talked for hours at a time. We have shared a bottle--or two--of wine. We have attended events together. Because of this, I felt good about asking them to join me in this project.
Because we have shared life in so many ways, it seemed natural to ask them to walk down this path with me. I know them. I know their heart. I know their goodness. Isn't that what life is about? Sharing it with others?
Know what? There is always room for one more friend. One more special person who can teach me something new. One more woman who has stories to share. One more. Then one more. And another. As I am writing this, my heart is so full with joy just thinking about how much better I am as a person because all these incredible women walked into my life. I hope I have given something in return that has blessed them.
Our project is called Share the Love. But, we have opportunities every single day to share love and care with those who come into our lives. It is not limited to a project. It is much bigger than any project. It is life happening.
Wednesday, November 5, 2014
The Gift of Time
The Gift of Time
Do you know the greatest gift-besides love-that we all receive? It doesn't cost us one penny. It is with us everyday, every minute. It never demands anything. It moves quietly. Do you give up?
It is time. We throw that word around all the time. See? There is is. We say we will do something when we have time. We watch clocks to see what time it is. We remind ourselves that we really do have enough time to get to work--on time. Sometimes we waste time. We do nothing. Is it really possible to do nothing? Or do we find ourselves thinking while we are wasting time?
We might find ourselves saying we don't have time to do a particular task when what we really mean is we don't want to do it. We blame time. After all, time doesn't talk back. We can get away with that excuse-sometimes. How many times have you heard youself say these words: "I have told you time and time again." We use that word all the time.....sorry.
Time is a gift. We can use time to turn things around. If we have caused harm, time may help us correct the mistake. When we realize we are on the wrong road for our lives, time is our friend. We can take time to study what would make our lives better. When we question, time allows us to seek answers. Time doesn't judge our behavior. It simply is.
There are times when we desperately want more time. When someone we love is ill, we pray for time. A few more months, weeks, days, minutes. We beg for time to share life. To care for our person. We want time to be on our side. If only we can be granted a little more of that precious commodity, we will be different people. And we mean it.
Breaking our lives into frames of time helps us achieve all that we set our hearts to achieve. We know when we should be up and about. When we should be at work. When to pick up the kids. When to start dinner. When, when, when. Time orders our lives. Wonder what it would be like to live with no clocks or calendars to keep us on schedule? Time can be a tyrant. Or, maybe we are the tyrant trying to fit everything into time.
From our beginning to our ending, we receive that gift of time. It is like our second skin. It moves with us through our days. A constant. During our joys, it is with us. During our pain, it is there. We can depend on it. It never decides to take a vacation or gets mad and walks away.
Eventually, our time will cease to be. Our moment will end. But, time will continue. So, it seems to me that while we have that wonderful gift, we should use it up. We should enjoy life. We should laugh more. We should love more. We should relax more. We should share life with our special people more. We should learn new things. We should welcome new people into our lives. The list of what we can and might do with our time is a never ending list.
Know what? It is time for me to bring this to a close. I am so grateful for the time to share a little of life with each of you. After all, all we ever really have is time.
Do you know the greatest gift-besides love-that we all receive? It doesn't cost us one penny. It is with us everyday, every minute. It never demands anything. It moves quietly. Do you give up?
It is time. We throw that word around all the time. See? There is is. We say we will do something when we have time. We watch clocks to see what time it is. We remind ourselves that we really do have enough time to get to work--on time. Sometimes we waste time. We do nothing. Is it really possible to do nothing? Or do we find ourselves thinking while we are wasting time?
We might find ourselves saying we don't have time to do a particular task when what we really mean is we don't want to do it. We blame time. After all, time doesn't talk back. We can get away with that excuse-sometimes. How many times have you heard youself say these words: "I have told you time and time again." We use that word all the time.....sorry.
Time is a gift. We can use time to turn things around. If we have caused harm, time may help us correct the mistake. When we realize we are on the wrong road for our lives, time is our friend. We can take time to study what would make our lives better. When we question, time allows us to seek answers. Time doesn't judge our behavior. It simply is.
There are times when we desperately want more time. When someone we love is ill, we pray for time. A few more months, weeks, days, minutes. We beg for time to share life. To care for our person. We want time to be on our side. If only we can be granted a little more of that precious commodity, we will be different people. And we mean it.
Breaking our lives into frames of time helps us achieve all that we set our hearts to achieve. We know when we should be up and about. When we should be at work. When to pick up the kids. When to start dinner. When, when, when. Time orders our lives. Wonder what it would be like to live with no clocks or calendars to keep us on schedule? Time can be a tyrant. Or, maybe we are the tyrant trying to fit everything into time.
From our beginning to our ending, we receive that gift of time. It is like our second skin. It moves with us through our days. A constant. During our joys, it is with us. During our pain, it is there. We can depend on it. It never decides to take a vacation or gets mad and walks away.
Eventually, our time will cease to be. Our moment will end. But, time will continue. So, it seems to me that while we have that wonderful gift, we should use it up. We should enjoy life. We should laugh more. We should love more. We should relax more. We should share life with our special people more. We should learn new things. We should welcome new people into our lives. The list of what we can and might do with our time is a never ending list.
Know what? It is time for me to bring this to a close. I am so grateful for the time to share a little of life with each of you. After all, all we ever really have is time.
What We Love--What We Grieve
What We Love-What We Grieve--
Aren't people just the best? While I love chocolate, skinny vanilla lattes, classical piano, crisp autumn days and so much more, my absolute favorite thing in this world is people.
I love friendly nods from strangers as we meet one another entering a store. I love hugs from friends when we say hi and when we say goodbye. I love grandchildren who are the light of my life. I love times shared with friends over a cup of coffee. I love sharing a bottle of wine--yes, a bottle--with a friend as we talk and talk and talk. I love emails from people I cherish. I love sending emails to friends and family sharing life stories. I love making new friends anywhere I find myself. I love listening without thinking about my response. I love watching others do kindness when they don't know they are being watched. You know what I mean. A parent teaching a child and using such tenderness and kindness to do it.
I don't love saying goodbye to people I love. Saying goodbye leaves a hole deep inside. I know you don't either. We remember the sound of their laughter. We remember the sound of their voice. We remember the twinkle in their eye when they were extremely happy. We remember the struggles and challenges that were part of their life. We remember how they filled a room with their being. We remember their thoughtful questions and loving spirit.
We might also remember that we were on their short list once in awhile. Maybe we did something or said something that made them look sideways at us. Maybe they disapproved of a decision. But, we always knew they loved us. We always knew we had a spot in their heart and life. We always knew.
I don't want to say goodbye to Susie tomorrow. I really don't. I want her to come to book study and share her life with us some more. I want her to tell us about her flying experiences. I want to learn about her gardens. We have that in common. We spent time talking about plants. I shared with her that I have at least 500 hosta. She had them, too, in the yard of the house before this one. I want to hear stories about her puppy-the one that ate my book. Yes, he did.
But, that won't happen. Others have left too soon, too. I miss them. What I will remember is how fun they all were. How tickled I was to spend a little time with them. How much I learned from each one.
So, since there is no choice, I will remember fondly the times spent. The smile. The twinkle in the eye. The hand thrown up waving goodbye. And my heart will rejoice because I knew the best!
Aren't people just the best? While I love chocolate, skinny vanilla lattes, classical piano, crisp autumn days and so much more, my absolute favorite thing in this world is people.
I love friendly nods from strangers as we meet one another entering a store. I love hugs from friends when we say hi and when we say goodbye. I love grandchildren who are the light of my life. I love times shared with friends over a cup of coffee. I love sharing a bottle of wine--yes, a bottle--with a friend as we talk and talk and talk. I love emails from people I cherish. I love sending emails to friends and family sharing life stories. I love making new friends anywhere I find myself. I love listening without thinking about my response. I love watching others do kindness when they don't know they are being watched. You know what I mean. A parent teaching a child and using such tenderness and kindness to do it.
I don't love saying goodbye to people I love. Saying goodbye leaves a hole deep inside. I know you don't either. We remember the sound of their laughter. We remember the sound of their voice. We remember the twinkle in their eye when they were extremely happy. We remember the struggles and challenges that were part of their life. We remember how they filled a room with their being. We remember their thoughtful questions and loving spirit.
We might also remember that we were on their short list once in awhile. Maybe we did something or said something that made them look sideways at us. Maybe they disapproved of a decision. But, we always knew they loved us. We always knew we had a spot in their heart and life. We always knew.
I don't want to say goodbye to Susie tomorrow. I really don't. I want her to come to book study and share her life with us some more. I want her to tell us about her flying experiences. I want to learn about her gardens. We have that in common. We spent time talking about plants. I shared with her that I have at least 500 hosta. She had them, too, in the yard of the house before this one. I want to hear stories about her puppy-the one that ate my book. Yes, he did.
But, that won't happen. Others have left too soon, too. I miss them. What I will remember is how fun they all were. How tickled I was to spend a little time with them. How much I learned from each one.
So, since there is no choice, I will remember fondly the times spent. The smile. The twinkle in the eye. The hand thrown up waving goodbye. And my heart will rejoice because I knew the best!
Tuesday, November 4, 2014
Communication-or the Lack Of
Communication-or the Lack Of
Lately I have been finding notes from months and years ago in journals. For instance, when I wrote about patterns of behavior, I found those notes on a napkin. I remember having the idea in a restaurant and using the napkin as my writing space. The temporary/eternal blog idea came from a study group. I could go down the list and name the places/experiences that prompted the blogs that I write. My hope is that as I work through my own thoughts, you have the opportunity to work through yours as well.
However, no life experience prepares us for the loss of a loved one or a friend. Those come, and we simply have no choice but to walk through them. We can't go around. That is what my friend's family is experiencing right now. Yet, even in this most difficult time, they have shown an amazing grace and care for others.
Which makes me think about relationships. And communication. There really cannot be a relationship if there is no communication. Trying to go about life like that is like playing a game. We smile and say the right things, but we never really know the other person. That is one of the saddest things that can happen in life--for me. I desire to be in relationship with everyone I meet. Now, I don't mean a close relationship. What I mean is one that shares a little bit of life and enjoys the process. One that is genuine and sincere. One that wishes well to everyone. One that holds no grudges. One that accepts the good and works to figure out the challenges.
Communication is the essential ingredient to any relationship. We all pass through stages in life. We have friends who come into our lives for a little bit and then move on. That is expected. They bring their gift of friendship to our lives for an amount of time. We remember them fondly.
Not all communication fosters healthy relationships. Maybe what I really mean is lack of communication. I have never figured out why anyone would want to withhold friendship without first giving it a good try. Certainly not everyone enjoys the same activities. And not everyone has the same beliefs. But, that should be a starting point-not an ending one. The choice to jump in and enjoy another person is a gift we give to ourselves. Who doesn't like gifts?
When people refuse to visit about concerns, relationships fail. I find that to be so hard. It has happened to me. Sometimes I have refused to visit about concerns because I don't want to upset the other person. Looking back, I believe that to be an unfair way to deal with life. We all have concerns at one time or other. We all feel misunderstood at times. Holding those feeling inside only makes us more miserable. I would guess that most communication errors have easy fixes if we would simply decide that there are two sides to every story--maybe even more than two. Great misunderstanding occurs when we hold on to our little side of a story and never listen or talk about it. At least not with the person who is the offender. We so misjudge others, don't we?
I am so fortunate to have friends who visit with me about their life concerns and allow me to share in their life stories. We learn much from each other. There are times when I need them to listen to me, too. Not having much family close to where I live means friends fill a huge void. I am so grateful for the women in my life. Women need one another. We need to laugh and visit and make plans for fun times. My friends and I enjoy conversation that is sometimes challenging. We don't always agree. Isn't that great? We learn so much more through honest discussion. And a glass or two of wine doesn't hurt either!
There are times when we cannot cross the bridge to good communication. We may desire it, but the other person does not. While that is hurtful and discouraging, it is life happening. We do ourselves tremendous harm by dwelling on what we wish could be but isn't. We have to move on to healthy relationships. We must not feel we failed. Sometimes we aren't another person's cup of tea. Course, we never understand that, do we? Reality bites!
I received such kind thoughts from the blog about my friend Susie. That is because we all cherish our friendships. We understand that people are the only thing that truly matters. We know that how we treat others is the mark of who we are. And probably because we have all experienced loss in our lives.
As I move closer to the end of my life, my desire is to enjoy people to the fullest. To celebrate them. To help when I can. To move back when I realize I am not wanted. To understand that life is a one time go around. There is no time for the ugly. To open my life to what might be ready to enter. To rejoice in other's successes. To cry when failure occurs. To hold a hand when life hurts. To share a concert or a play or a trip with people who have life in common.
Yes, there will still be times when I will be misunderstood. I pray for time to talk when that occurs. I pray for peace and love to overcome anger and frustration. I pray for moments when my heart is so full of joy I can hardly contain it. I pray that for you as well. That life brings you exactly who you need at the moment of your need. And that we all work on our communication skills so that no one in this world is ever without a listening ear or a caring friend.
Lately I have been finding notes from months and years ago in journals. For instance, when I wrote about patterns of behavior, I found those notes on a napkin. I remember having the idea in a restaurant and using the napkin as my writing space. The temporary/eternal blog idea came from a study group. I could go down the list and name the places/experiences that prompted the blogs that I write. My hope is that as I work through my own thoughts, you have the opportunity to work through yours as well.
However, no life experience prepares us for the loss of a loved one or a friend. Those come, and we simply have no choice but to walk through them. We can't go around. That is what my friend's family is experiencing right now. Yet, even in this most difficult time, they have shown an amazing grace and care for others.
Which makes me think about relationships. And communication. There really cannot be a relationship if there is no communication. Trying to go about life like that is like playing a game. We smile and say the right things, but we never really know the other person. That is one of the saddest things that can happen in life--for me. I desire to be in relationship with everyone I meet. Now, I don't mean a close relationship. What I mean is one that shares a little bit of life and enjoys the process. One that is genuine and sincere. One that wishes well to everyone. One that holds no grudges. One that accepts the good and works to figure out the challenges.
Communication is the essential ingredient to any relationship. We all pass through stages in life. We have friends who come into our lives for a little bit and then move on. That is expected. They bring their gift of friendship to our lives for an amount of time. We remember them fondly.
Not all communication fosters healthy relationships. Maybe what I really mean is lack of communication. I have never figured out why anyone would want to withhold friendship without first giving it a good try. Certainly not everyone enjoys the same activities. And not everyone has the same beliefs. But, that should be a starting point-not an ending one. The choice to jump in and enjoy another person is a gift we give to ourselves. Who doesn't like gifts?
When people refuse to visit about concerns, relationships fail. I find that to be so hard. It has happened to me. Sometimes I have refused to visit about concerns because I don't want to upset the other person. Looking back, I believe that to be an unfair way to deal with life. We all have concerns at one time or other. We all feel misunderstood at times. Holding those feeling inside only makes us more miserable. I would guess that most communication errors have easy fixes if we would simply decide that there are two sides to every story--maybe even more than two. Great misunderstanding occurs when we hold on to our little side of a story and never listen or talk about it. At least not with the person who is the offender. We so misjudge others, don't we?
I am so fortunate to have friends who visit with me about their life concerns and allow me to share in their life stories. We learn much from each other. There are times when I need them to listen to me, too. Not having much family close to where I live means friends fill a huge void. I am so grateful for the women in my life. Women need one another. We need to laugh and visit and make plans for fun times. My friends and I enjoy conversation that is sometimes challenging. We don't always agree. Isn't that great? We learn so much more through honest discussion. And a glass or two of wine doesn't hurt either!
There are times when we cannot cross the bridge to good communication. We may desire it, but the other person does not. While that is hurtful and discouraging, it is life happening. We do ourselves tremendous harm by dwelling on what we wish could be but isn't. We have to move on to healthy relationships. We must not feel we failed. Sometimes we aren't another person's cup of tea. Course, we never understand that, do we? Reality bites!
I received such kind thoughts from the blog about my friend Susie. That is because we all cherish our friendships. We understand that people are the only thing that truly matters. We know that how we treat others is the mark of who we are. And probably because we have all experienced loss in our lives.
As I move closer to the end of my life, my desire is to enjoy people to the fullest. To celebrate them. To help when I can. To move back when I realize I am not wanted. To understand that life is a one time go around. There is no time for the ugly. To open my life to what might be ready to enter. To rejoice in other's successes. To cry when failure occurs. To hold a hand when life hurts. To share a concert or a play or a trip with people who have life in common.
Yes, there will still be times when I will be misunderstood. I pray for time to talk when that occurs. I pray for peace and love to overcome anger and frustration. I pray for moments when my heart is so full of joy I can hardly contain it. I pray that for you as well. That life brings you exactly who you need at the moment of your need. And that we all work on our communication skills so that no one in this world is ever without a listening ear or a caring friend.
Sunday, November 2, 2014
My Friend, Susie
My Friend Susie
Yesterday my friend, Susie, died.
Life is so interesting. Sometimes we know people for years and years. Sometimes we know them for only a moment but feel we have known them forever.
I met Susie on her driveway. I was driving in circles in a neighborhood looking for a particular street. After ten or so minutes of looking, I saw a woman walking to her mailbox. I stopped and explained that I was looking for a street but couldn't find it. She said she had a map of the neighborhood and would bring it out. Over the hood of my car, we located the street.
But as often happens, we began a conversation. We talked about flowers, plants, neighborhoods. Eventually we got around to discussing why I was looking for that street. I explained that I was delivering one of my books. She asked if I had one to show her. I did. And she bought it. Later she bought the first one I wrote.
Months later she shared with me that she read an essay every morning when she had her quiet Bible time. She said she had read the books three times each already. I was so honored that I asked her to write a review for my new book which comes out in mid November. She wrote a lovely review.
Tonight I sent an email to remind her to come for pizza tomorrow. She and I are in a book study group. Her husband sent an email asking me to call. Susie died yesterday morning shortly after getting out of bed. He believes she had a massive heart attack. There was no warning. One minute she was with us. The next she was gone from us.
I am so grateful for the time we had as friends. We shared much in a very short time. We laughed and talked about many things. And I am reminded, once again, that life is a gift. She was a gift.
So..love on those who are precious to you. Greet strangers with kindness. Be grateful for all the good that is in your life and embrace the challenges. They grow us into the people we were meant to be.
Good night, Susie.
Yesterday my friend, Susie, died.
Life is so interesting. Sometimes we know people for years and years. Sometimes we know them for only a moment but feel we have known them forever.
I met Susie on her driveway. I was driving in circles in a neighborhood looking for a particular street. After ten or so minutes of looking, I saw a woman walking to her mailbox. I stopped and explained that I was looking for a street but couldn't find it. She said she had a map of the neighborhood and would bring it out. Over the hood of my car, we located the street.
But as often happens, we began a conversation. We talked about flowers, plants, neighborhoods. Eventually we got around to discussing why I was looking for that street. I explained that I was delivering one of my books. She asked if I had one to show her. I did. And she bought it. Later she bought the first one I wrote.
Months later she shared with me that she read an essay every morning when she had her quiet Bible time. She said she had read the books three times each already. I was so honored that I asked her to write a review for my new book which comes out in mid November. She wrote a lovely review.
Tonight I sent an email to remind her to come for pizza tomorrow. She and I are in a book study group. Her husband sent an email asking me to call. Susie died yesterday morning shortly after getting out of bed. He believes she had a massive heart attack. There was no warning. One minute she was with us. The next she was gone from us.
I am so grateful for the time we had as friends. We shared much in a very short time. We laughed and talked about many things. And I am reminded, once again, that life is a gift. She was a gift.
So..love on those who are precious to you. Greet strangers with kindness. Be grateful for all the good that is in your life and embrace the challenges. They grow us into the people we were meant to be.
Good night, Susie.
Saturday, November 1, 2014
Hopes and Dreams
Hopes and Dreams
Hopes and dreams. We hear much about these two words. I believe they have the power to move us to places we never thought we could go. Yet a challenge comes with those words.
Let's say we have a dream. Let's say we truly believe we can achieve it with time, energy, work and maybe a little luck. Years ago in a discussion with people over dinner I used the word luck. I was immediately answered with another person's belief. There is no such thing as luck, I was told. Since the belief was so strong, I didn't move forward with the conversation. It would have proved futile. Back to the original idea.
When we dream about what we would like to see happen in our lives or the lives of people we care about, we have hope that those dreams will become reality.
But, life happens. Dreams that seemed so wonderful get lost in the muck and mire of life. We get sidetracked. Dreams die and hope goes along with it. If we are lucky--fortunate--we might be able to regroup and reclaim what we believe we have lost. Sometimes we can. Often we can't.
At times like this it is good to think about what is temporary and what is eternal.
Rather than getting bogged down in disappointment, another strategy might be to evaluate what our dreams are. If we are able to achieve our dreams, what does that mean for the people in our lives? Will time away from those precious people we love be worth the end result? Or are we bringing them along on the journey? You know, nothing is as important as our people. They are the eternal piece of life's puzzle.
Our world explodes with everything materialistic. I have been thinking about this lately. What truly matters in my life? What will make an eternal difference? Will anyone really notice the brand name on my shoes? Or my coat? Or my car? If they do, it will be only a cursory glance. The reason this is so is because there will be another new brand of shoes, coats and cars. Please understand that I like new shoes, coats, cars, furniture, jewelry just as much as the next person. It only becomes a challenge when things become more important than people. I am fortunate. My life is surrounded by family and dear friends who understand this.
A way to gauge this would be to examine our lives and see how much time is devoted to temporary things. Certainly we all have work to do. We all have to show up at work and perform. I just bet that everyone reading these words spends a large part of their working day caring for other people. Either people who share their work space or people who provide services we all need. I truly believe that most people are caring folks. They understand that a kind word, a hug, a caring spirit is what makes this world go round and round and round.
Well, I think I have strayed a bit. But, life is like that. Many times dreams don't follow a straight line. Sometimes the road to the goal circles back before moving forward. Dreams help us be creative. They help us see how to solve a challenging situation. Embrace your dream/s. Welcome them into your life. They may provide the impetus for something wonderful that has eternal value.
Dream Big!
Hopes and dreams. We hear much about these two words. I believe they have the power to move us to places we never thought we could go. Yet a challenge comes with those words.
Let's say we have a dream. Let's say we truly believe we can achieve it with time, energy, work and maybe a little luck. Years ago in a discussion with people over dinner I used the word luck. I was immediately answered with another person's belief. There is no such thing as luck, I was told. Since the belief was so strong, I didn't move forward with the conversation. It would have proved futile. Back to the original idea.
When we dream about what we would like to see happen in our lives or the lives of people we care about, we have hope that those dreams will become reality.
But, life happens. Dreams that seemed so wonderful get lost in the muck and mire of life. We get sidetracked. Dreams die and hope goes along with it. If we are lucky--fortunate--we might be able to regroup and reclaim what we believe we have lost. Sometimes we can. Often we can't.
At times like this it is good to think about what is temporary and what is eternal.
Rather than getting bogged down in disappointment, another strategy might be to evaluate what our dreams are. If we are able to achieve our dreams, what does that mean for the people in our lives? Will time away from those precious people we love be worth the end result? Or are we bringing them along on the journey? You know, nothing is as important as our people. They are the eternal piece of life's puzzle.
Our world explodes with everything materialistic. I have been thinking about this lately. What truly matters in my life? What will make an eternal difference? Will anyone really notice the brand name on my shoes? Or my coat? Or my car? If they do, it will be only a cursory glance. The reason this is so is because there will be another new brand of shoes, coats and cars. Please understand that I like new shoes, coats, cars, furniture, jewelry just as much as the next person. It only becomes a challenge when things become more important than people. I am fortunate. My life is surrounded by family and dear friends who understand this.
A way to gauge this would be to examine our lives and see how much time is devoted to temporary things. Certainly we all have work to do. We all have to show up at work and perform. I just bet that everyone reading these words spends a large part of their working day caring for other people. Either people who share their work space or people who provide services we all need. I truly believe that most people are caring folks. They understand that a kind word, a hug, a caring spirit is what makes this world go round and round and round.
Well, I think I have strayed a bit. But, life is like that. Many times dreams don't follow a straight line. Sometimes the road to the goal circles back before moving forward. Dreams help us be creative. They help us see how to solve a challenging situation. Embrace your dream/s. Welcome them into your life. They may provide the impetus for something wonderful that has eternal value.
Dream Big!
Spring Bulbs and Christmas
Spring Bulbs and Christmas
We went shopping for spring bulbs to plant. Imagine our surprise to find bulbs hidden behind Christmas trees. In October. Before Halloween. Mixed in with the Christmas bling were witches and goblins, fall wreaths, pumpkins, hay bales, turkey platters, holiday dishes and everything else one can imagine for the big three-Halloween, Thanksgiving and Christmas.
Seeing all the holiday goodies caused my mind to wander away from bulbs that will not be seen until spring. It is much easier to get caught up in what the eyes can see at the moment. Waiting for months and months to see those flowers appear seems far, far away. Holiday stuff seems right here right now.
As I walked among the perfectly dressed trees, I thought about how much I enjoy decorating trees for the holidays. However, we have to get past all the work of putting the tree together first. For years we visited a tree farm and cut our own. In the field the chosen tree looked perfect. Just the right height and diameter. Perfect from any angle. My husband usually remarked that it was a little big, but I pretended not to hear those words. I hate to say it, but he was right almost every time. One year we cut our tree, placed it in the bed of the truck and headed home. Friends had their tree in the truck, too. Imagine our surprise when we found only one tree in the truck. They do blow out it seems. I think we determined it was their tree not ours that was lost. Funny how that happened.
Dragging the tree into the house and standing it up was never the best part of the whole experience. Especially when the tree took up half the room and doubled over on the ceiling with the top pointing to the floor. Kinda hard to put a pretty topping on a tree that has a bent top. Furniture needed new placement, too. Eventually we decided to go with a fake tree. Or artificial. Even those can be tricky to put together.
Of course, the next part of the tree thing is an absolute nightmare. You know where I am going. The lights. We always have to string more lights on the tree. It isn't sparkly enough until you need sunglasses to gaze upon it. After all the lights are on the tree, it is time to plug them in. Just like in the movie that we all love, they don't all come on. Or a fuse gets blown. Never in the history of trees in our house have all the strings of lights actually lit up. There is always a dark spot. We try and try to turn the tree so that the dark area is on the back side facing the wall. But, I know it is there, and it drives me nuts.
Time to find the decorations. Every year we misplace decorations. I have no idea how that happens. We place them all in boxes or wrap them in paper towels. We put them in plastic tubs and even write on the outside of the tub what is inside. With all that planning, we lose them. Year after year. Sometime during the spring we find them. One year I left a tree up for twelve months. It was too pretty to take down, I thought. I did notice people had questioning looks on their faces when they saw it.
Christmas carols play as I remove all the found decorations and place them on the tree. I love that. Add a little hot cider to the mix, and you have the perfect day. After all the grumbling about putting the thing up, carrying the tubs from upstairs and downstairs the work is done. Actually, I don't think of it as work. It is a joy. I turn on the fireplace, turn on the tree, turn on the music and sit and enjoy my creation. How different from when I was a kid. We had a wood stove to heat the house. My dad cut a cedar tree. We decorated it with whatever we had. Certainly no themed trees. All the lights were colored, and they got very hot. When the holidays are over and the trees are taken down, the house seems lonely. It takes a few days to get over the saddness.
But before any of that can occur, bulbs have to be planted. Spring will return. I want it to be pretty.
We went shopping for spring bulbs to plant. Imagine our surprise to find bulbs hidden behind Christmas trees. In October. Before Halloween. Mixed in with the Christmas bling were witches and goblins, fall wreaths, pumpkins, hay bales, turkey platters, holiday dishes and everything else one can imagine for the big three-Halloween, Thanksgiving and Christmas.
Seeing all the holiday goodies caused my mind to wander away from bulbs that will not be seen until spring. It is much easier to get caught up in what the eyes can see at the moment. Waiting for months and months to see those flowers appear seems far, far away. Holiday stuff seems right here right now.
As I walked among the perfectly dressed trees, I thought about how much I enjoy decorating trees for the holidays. However, we have to get past all the work of putting the tree together first. For years we visited a tree farm and cut our own. In the field the chosen tree looked perfect. Just the right height and diameter. Perfect from any angle. My husband usually remarked that it was a little big, but I pretended not to hear those words. I hate to say it, but he was right almost every time. One year we cut our tree, placed it in the bed of the truck and headed home. Friends had their tree in the truck, too. Imagine our surprise when we found only one tree in the truck. They do blow out it seems. I think we determined it was their tree not ours that was lost. Funny how that happened.
Dragging the tree into the house and standing it up was never the best part of the whole experience. Especially when the tree took up half the room and doubled over on the ceiling with the top pointing to the floor. Kinda hard to put a pretty topping on a tree that has a bent top. Furniture needed new placement, too. Eventually we decided to go with a fake tree. Or artificial. Even those can be tricky to put together.
Of course, the next part of the tree thing is an absolute nightmare. You know where I am going. The lights. We always have to string more lights on the tree. It isn't sparkly enough until you need sunglasses to gaze upon it. After all the lights are on the tree, it is time to plug them in. Just like in the movie that we all love, they don't all come on. Or a fuse gets blown. Never in the history of trees in our house have all the strings of lights actually lit up. There is always a dark spot. We try and try to turn the tree so that the dark area is on the back side facing the wall. But, I know it is there, and it drives me nuts.
Time to find the decorations. Every year we misplace decorations. I have no idea how that happens. We place them all in boxes or wrap them in paper towels. We put them in plastic tubs and even write on the outside of the tub what is inside. With all that planning, we lose them. Year after year. Sometime during the spring we find them. One year I left a tree up for twelve months. It was too pretty to take down, I thought. I did notice people had questioning looks on their faces when they saw it.
Christmas carols play as I remove all the found decorations and place them on the tree. I love that. Add a little hot cider to the mix, and you have the perfect day. After all the grumbling about putting the thing up, carrying the tubs from upstairs and downstairs the work is done. Actually, I don't think of it as work. It is a joy. I turn on the fireplace, turn on the tree, turn on the music and sit and enjoy my creation. How different from when I was a kid. We had a wood stove to heat the house. My dad cut a cedar tree. We decorated it with whatever we had. Certainly no themed trees. All the lights were colored, and they got very hot. When the holidays are over and the trees are taken down, the house seems lonely. It takes a few days to get over the saddness.
But before any of that can occur, bulbs have to be planted. Spring will return. I want it to be pretty.
Friday, October 31, 2014
The Birth of a New Book
The Birth of a New Book
About four months ago I began the process of putting new thoughts down on paper. This process requires me to stay still and think. Think about what I want to say and how I want to say it. It all seems so simple. But, it is not simple at all.
As ideas began to form, I realized that I wanted to change the format of this new book. The previous two were filled with observations and experiences that happen to all of us. We all share many similar joys and challenges during our time on this earth. The feedback from those who read them was encouraging.
This one would be different. Thoughts would appear in my mind as I was driving or answering mail or even visiting with friends. Ideas came unannounced. With the ideas came questions. Should this next book be the same? Should it be different? If it were different, what would it look like? Should it be longer? Shorter? How would I begin the writing? As a life experience?
I understand what is involved in putting a book together. So many decisions. So many revisions. So much proofing. Emails back and forth between the woman who formats and me. Constant conversation. Sometimes as many as twenty emails a day as we work through a challenge. No, it is not easy. There are many, many small details that require attention. My attention.
By the time a book is as together as it will be, I am exhausted with it. Tired of it. Critical of it. Until the proof arrives from the printer. Every emotion changes when I open the package and remove the proof. Turning the pages, seeing how it actually looks in book form is such a rush. Not tired anymore, I tackle the job of proofing. I do not do this by myself. The mind fills in words that are not there. Fresh eyes are needed to read the actual words, check the punctuation. Yes, I understand the work involved.
Thinking through the process, I realized that I wanted to write something different. Something that the reader could share in a new way. Readers shared with me that they had underlined, highlighted, written in the margins, dogeared pages. A few shared they had used parts of my books in speeches. I learned that a few of my essays had been used in conjunction with Sunday School lessons. Knowing how people were using the books gave me the idea for this new one.
I would write short thoughts. These thoughts would be placed on beautiful pictures of nature. Mountains, valleys, rivers, meadows, flower gardens, clouds, rainbows to name a few. I would use my photographs and ask friends to share their photos with me. So, the writing began.
One would think that writing short thoughts would be easy. Maybe for some it is. For me it proved quite a challenge. Every word has to count. Especially when there would only be a few lines on each beautiful photograph. The floor of my office became a huge garbage can. Discarded thoughts littered the floor. Yet the thoughts continued to come and eventually made sense.
Yesterday the proof arrived.
I wish you had been here to share this moment with me. We would have placed the finished product on a table and began turning pages. We would have talked about the beautiful photographs. We would have read the quotes. We would have noticed how wonderfully put together it is. We would have discussed the pages included for personal reflections by the reader. It would have been such fun.
All corrections made, the wait begins. In a few weeks a large box of books will arrive at my door. All the hard work, the thinking, the cussing and the crying will be replaced with laughter and joy. A book is born.
About four months ago I began the process of putting new thoughts down on paper. This process requires me to stay still and think. Think about what I want to say and how I want to say it. It all seems so simple. But, it is not simple at all.
As ideas began to form, I realized that I wanted to change the format of this new book. The previous two were filled with observations and experiences that happen to all of us. We all share many similar joys and challenges during our time on this earth. The feedback from those who read them was encouraging.
This one would be different. Thoughts would appear in my mind as I was driving or answering mail or even visiting with friends. Ideas came unannounced. With the ideas came questions. Should this next book be the same? Should it be different? If it were different, what would it look like? Should it be longer? Shorter? How would I begin the writing? As a life experience?
I understand what is involved in putting a book together. So many decisions. So many revisions. So much proofing. Emails back and forth between the woman who formats and me. Constant conversation. Sometimes as many as twenty emails a day as we work through a challenge. No, it is not easy. There are many, many small details that require attention. My attention.
By the time a book is as together as it will be, I am exhausted with it. Tired of it. Critical of it. Until the proof arrives from the printer. Every emotion changes when I open the package and remove the proof. Turning the pages, seeing how it actually looks in book form is such a rush. Not tired anymore, I tackle the job of proofing. I do not do this by myself. The mind fills in words that are not there. Fresh eyes are needed to read the actual words, check the punctuation. Yes, I understand the work involved.
Thinking through the process, I realized that I wanted to write something different. Something that the reader could share in a new way. Readers shared with me that they had underlined, highlighted, written in the margins, dogeared pages. A few shared they had used parts of my books in speeches. I learned that a few of my essays had been used in conjunction with Sunday School lessons. Knowing how people were using the books gave me the idea for this new one.
I would write short thoughts. These thoughts would be placed on beautiful pictures of nature. Mountains, valleys, rivers, meadows, flower gardens, clouds, rainbows to name a few. I would use my photographs and ask friends to share their photos with me. So, the writing began.
One would think that writing short thoughts would be easy. Maybe for some it is. For me it proved quite a challenge. Every word has to count. Especially when there would only be a few lines on each beautiful photograph. The floor of my office became a huge garbage can. Discarded thoughts littered the floor. Yet the thoughts continued to come and eventually made sense.
Yesterday the proof arrived.
I wish you had been here to share this moment with me. We would have placed the finished product on a table and began turning pages. We would have talked about the beautiful photographs. We would have read the quotes. We would have noticed how wonderfully put together it is. We would have discussed the pages included for personal reflections by the reader. It would have been such fun.
All corrections made, the wait begins. In a few weeks a large box of books will arrive at my door. All the hard work, the thinking, the cussing and the crying will be replaced with laughter and joy. A book is born.
Thursday, October 30, 2014
Patterns of Behavior
Patterns of Behavior--
Hello to you all. Just a short thought that has been swirling around in my head.
What we grow up with we pass on to the next generation. Much of what we pass on is good.
I like to believe that what was passed on to our son was positive. However, I know human nature, and I know my nature. A little of the negative found its way in the passing. I hate that.
To break that pattern or any pattern of behavior, adults have to first recognize the pattern and develop a plan to replace it with a better pattern of behavior. Old patterns never disappear, but once we realize what they are, we can choose new patterns. We might even need to apologize to those who were witness to us not being our best.
Life is a work in progress. We are never perfect, but we can improve. We have it in our power to model positive behavior for all children. Especially our own. When we improve, we are giving them the tools they will need to solve their own life challenges.
Adults must stop blaming their past. We must move beyond our raising. If we witnessed certain behaviors that were negative in our growing up years, now is the time to remind ourselves that we wish different ways of modeling for our children. Now is the time to make the changes so our children will be able to live better lives-capable of making better choices.
It is like going to a restaurant and being given a menu. We have choice. We can choose from what is presented. Some of the choices are certainly not the best for us. Others are better. And some are perfect. We don't blame the chef for placing all the choices in front of us. We understand that we must choose.
Ok. Maybe not the best analogy. But, I think you get the point. We are the product of our growing up years. Many things happened during those formative years. And now that we are adults with children to mentor, we get to choose how to help them grow into their fullness.
Hello to you all. Just a short thought that has been swirling around in my head.
What we grow up with we pass on to the next generation. Much of what we pass on is good.
I like to believe that what was passed on to our son was positive. However, I know human nature, and I know my nature. A little of the negative found its way in the passing. I hate that.
To break that pattern or any pattern of behavior, adults have to first recognize the pattern and develop a plan to replace it with a better pattern of behavior. Old patterns never disappear, but once we realize what they are, we can choose new patterns. We might even need to apologize to those who were witness to us not being our best.
Life is a work in progress. We are never perfect, but we can improve. We have it in our power to model positive behavior for all children. Especially our own. When we improve, we are giving them the tools they will need to solve their own life challenges.
Adults must stop blaming their past. We must move beyond our raising. If we witnessed certain behaviors that were negative in our growing up years, now is the time to remind ourselves that we wish different ways of modeling for our children. Now is the time to make the changes so our children will be able to live better lives-capable of making better choices.
It is like going to a restaurant and being given a menu. We have choice. We can choose from what is presented. Some of the choices are certainly not the best for us. Others are better. And some are perfect. We don't blame the chef for placing all the choices in front of us. We understand that we must choose.
Ok. Maybe not the best analogy. But, I think you get the point. We are the product of our growing up years. Many things happened during those formative years. And now that we are adults with children to mentor, we get to choose how to help them grow into their fullness.
Sunday, October 12, 2014
Taking a Break
Taking a Break
From time to time I need to take a break from writing the blog. Now is one of those times.
Thank you for reading. I truly appreciate having friends accompany me on this journey. My attention right now is on completing my book.
Take good care.
Tuesday, October 7, 2014
We Are All Winners
We Are All Winners--
I marvel at all the creative people in this world. Now that fall is here, I see beautiful wreaths hanging on doors. Someone had the idea and the skills to put those lovely wreaths together. That is something I simply cannot do. Put a glue gun in my hand, and everything becomes covered in glue. After multiple attempts, I have finally given up on putting something pretty on my door--something that I made. It always looks like such a mess.
Then there are the people who can paint. They take a canvas, open tubes and jars of paint, gather brushes and begin to create. When I watch, I am in awe of their talent. They see things in their minds and then translate what they see to the canvas. How do they know when they are finished? How do they know that what they have on the canvas is exactly what should be there? It is a wonder to me. And I love to watch the creation take place.
Years ago I decided to take a beginning painting class. I explained to the instructor that I had no experience in painting. Knew none of the techniques he might ask us to use. Knew nothing about mixing paint. He assured me I would do fine. So, I joined the class. The group met at an old barn. We were told to set up our area and begin painting what we saw. I have never seen such a flurry of activity. In a matter of minutes everyone was busy interpreting what they saw. Colors and shapes appeared on paper.
And I stood there totally in the dark. Where to start? What did I see? What color should I use? It became obvious that I was out of pocket. These folks knew what to look for. I did not. So, when break time came, I gathered all my supplies, made my excuse and left. I felt like such an absolute failure. A sadness overtook me. I wanted to cry. Why did I have such a reaction to this experience? I think it might have to do with explaining my lack of knowledge but not being taken seriously. How wonderful it would have been had the instructor taken just a few minutes to explain things to me. That day I realized that painting or drawing was something I would never learn to do. Simply a talent I was not given.
How about musicians? Breaking into the music business must be one of the most difficult things in the world to do. Yet, those who feel the music in their bones cannot give up that dream. It overtakes all else. They compose then redo the composition endless times. They take any gigs they can so they can be seen and heard. Their life revolves around the creativity in their souls. I would imagine they see life in living colors. Then they take those colors and transform them into music. I so admire musicians. They can no more stop creating and producing music than they can stop breathing.
Chefs are amazing. Their food creations are not only beautiful, but they are also delicious. They teach us how to make our evening meals look just like theirs. Well, at least they try. Honestly, who has time to do all the shopping and creating for a busy family? I do enjoy browsing through cookbooks looking at the pictures of foods I have never seen in real life. Did you ever read all the ingredients needed for some of their masterpieces? However, they do inspire me to make my creations more appealing. Nothing appealing about slapping a piece of bacon, a boiled egg and toast on a plate. So, I appreciate knowing what to add to that to make it a food masterpiece.
Before we all become discouraged about what we cannot do, let's examine what we can do.
We can love others. We can provide a loving home for our families. We can select the best food to prepare for them. We can take those children to school, to practices. We can be available for friends. We can take care of ourselves so that we are around for a long, long time. They can learn new skills. We can create a safe haven for those who enter our space. We can let those we care about know that they are in our thoughts. We can take time to ourselves-even a few moments refresh our spirits. We can count our blessings and be grateful. We can encourage others who are struggling.
This list is a forever list. It never ends. While we recognize there are things we are not gifted to do, there are others we are. We can develop those talents and skills. We can continue to grow ourselves.
We often hear about winners and losers. Well, we are all winners when we develop our own particular set of skills and talents. We are all winners when we create a loving space for everyone. We are all winners when we refuse to compare ourselves with others and their abilities. We can celebrate others and ourselves at the same time.
I marvel at all the creative people in this world. Now that fall is here, I see beautiful wreaths hanging on doors. Someone had the idea and the skills to put those lovely wreaths together. That is something I simply cannot do. Put a glue gun in my hand, and everything becomes covered in glue. After multiple attempts, I have finally given up on putting something pretty on my door--something that I made. It always looks like such a mess.
Then there are the people who can paint. They take a canvas, open tubes and jars of paint, gather brushes and begin to create. When I watch, I am in awe of their talent. They see things in their minds and then translate what they see to the canvas. How do they know when they are finished? How do they know that what they have on the canvas is exactly what should be there? It is a wonder to me. And I love to watch the creation take place.
Years ago I decided to take a beginning painting class. I explained to the instructor that I had no experience in painting. Knew none of the techniques he might ask us to use. Knew nothing about mixing paint. He assured me I would do fine. So, I joined the class. The group met at an old barn. We were told to set up our area and begin painting what we saw. I have never seen such a flurry of activity. In a matter of minutes everyone was busy interpreting what they saw. Colors and shapes appeared on paper.
And I stood there totally in the dark. Where to start? What did I see? What color should I use? It became obvious that I was out of pocket. These folks knew what to look for. I did not. So, when break time came, I gathered all my supplies, made my excuse and left. I felt like such an absolute failure. A sadness overtook me. I wanted to cry. Why did I have such a reaction to this experience? I think it might have to do with explaining my lack of knowledge but not being taken seriously. How wonderful it would have been had the instructor taken just a few minutes to explain things to me. That day I realized that painting or drawing was something I would never learn to do. Simply a talent I was not given.
How about musicians? Breaking into the music business must be one of the most difficult things in the world to do. Yet, those who feel the music in their bones cannot give up that dream. It overtakes all else. They compose then redo the composition endless times. They take any gigs they can so they can be seen and heard. Their life revolves around the creativity in their souls. I would imagine they see life in living colors. Then they take those colors and transform them into music. I so admire musicians. They can no more stop creating and producing music than they can stop breathing.
Chefs are amazing. Their food creations are not only beautiful, but they are also delicious. They teach us how to make our evening meals look just like theirs. Well, at least they try. Honestly, who has time to do all the shopping and creating for a busy family? I do enjoy browsing through cookbooks looking at the pictures of foods I have never seen in real life. Did you ever read all the ingredients needed for some of their masterpieces? However, they do inspire me to make my creations more appealing. Nothing appealing about slapping a piece of bacon, a boiled egg and toast on a plate. So, I appreciate knowing what to add to that to make it a food masterpiece.
Before we all become discouraged about what we cannot do, let's examine what we can do.
We can love others. We can provide a loving home for our families. We can select the best food to prepare for them. We can take those children to school, to practices. We can be available for friends. We can take care of ourselves so that we are around for a long, long time. They can learn new skills. We can create a safe haven for those who enter our space. We can let those we care about know that they are in our thoughts. We can take time to ourselves-even a few moments refresh our spirits. We can count our blessings and be grateful. We can encourage others who are struggling.
This list is a forever list. It never ends. While we recognize there are things we are not gifted to do, there are others we are. We can develop those talents and skills. We can continue to grow ourselves.
We often hear about winners and losers. Well, we are all winners when we develop our own particular set of skills and talents. We are all winners when we create a loving space for everyone. We are all winners when we refuse to compare ourselves with others and their abilities. We can celebrate others and ourselves at the same time.
Monday, October 6, 2014
We Met the Challenge!!
We Met the Challenge!!
I have the most amazing friends. They have such caring spirits. It makes my heart smile just to think about each of them.
Last week I blogged about gifting women in difficult life situations. Friends replied. I am so happy to report that our goal was met and because of their generosity, others will have needs met. Thank you so much!
Being involved in this venture helped me see my friends through new eyes. They are caring, generous, loving. They understand that others need what we take for granted. They reached out with time and money to make life better for other women.
And that brought another thought to my head. This one is not so easy. At some point in our lives we all go through this.
It pains me to even write about this. But, there are people in this world who are always unhappy. I don't mean those who are ill. I mean those whose disposition is always on a downward spiral. No matter what you say or how you try to encourage them, they manage to find something negative in everything. Being in their presence is draining.
Wonder why some folks find nothing positive? Wonder what happened in their life that brought them to this place? They are certainly right. Challenging things happen everyday. We don't live in bubbles of joy and laughter. We live in the real world where things go wrong. People get sick. Relationships fall apart. Children disappoint us. Jobs are lost. No one gets out of this life without a few bruises.
So, what gives some the inner power to see beyond the difficulties and make good decisions for themselves and those they care about while others stay in the pits? If there were an easy answer, it would have already been written about in many books. It isn't easy to walk above the mess of life. Sometimes there is no way but to go right through.
Recently I had a wonderful visit with a friend who is a widow. Instead of crawling in bed and pulling up the covers-which I am sure she has done, she made the decision that life did not end. A huge portion of it did. One that can never be reclaimed. But, she understands that life moves forward. She is moving forward, too. I so admire her spirit and her determination. I admire her ability to accept what she cannot change and move forward to what might be in her future. It would have been so easy to be negative and down most of the time. She has willed herself to not do that.
And maybe there is the answer--her will. She does not want to burden others with her sorrow. She wants to live her life and enjoy people even though her heart is broken. She wills herself to get up and go. I love her so much for her strength. She is certainly an example for others who have walked her path.
Many years ago I decided to stay clear of negative folks. Sure, we are all negative sometime. We all get our feathers ruffled. But, these are temporary things. I avoid the company of those who only see the down side of life. I avoid them not because I don't care. I avoid them because they have the power to pull me down. That is not a place I wish to reside.
So, I have learned much from my friends this past week. They have given of themselves. They saw a need and worked to meet it. They are positive women with generous spirits.
I am so lucky to call them friend.
I have the most amazing friends. They have such caring spirits. It makes my heart smile just to think about each of them.
Last week I blogged about gifting women in difficult life situations. Friends replied. I am so happy to report that our goal was met and because of their generosity, others will have needs met. Thank you so much!
Being involved in this venture helped me see my friends through new eyes. They are caring, generous, loving. They understand that others need what we take for granted. They reached out with time and money to make life better for other women.
And that brought another thought to my head. This one is not so easy. At some point in our lives we all go through this.
It pains me to even write about this. But, there are people in this world who are always unhappy. I don't mean those who are ill. I mean those whose disposition is always on a downward spiral. No matter what you say or how you try to encourage them, they manage to find something negative in everything. Being in their presence is draining.
Wonder why some folks find nothing positive? Wonder what happened in their life that brought them to this place? They are certainly right. Challenging things happen everyday. We don't live in bubbles of joy and laughter. We live in the real world where things go wrong. People get sick. Relationships fall apart. Children disappoint us. Jobs are lost. No one gets out of this life without a few bruises.
So, what gives some the inner power to see beyond the difficulties and make good decisions for themselves and those they care about while others stay in the pits? If there were an easy answer, it would have already been written about in many books. It isn't easy to walk above the mess of life. Sometimes there is no way but to go right through.
Recently I had a wonderful visit with a friend who is a widow. Instead of crawling in bed and pulling up the covers-which I am sure she has done, she made the decision that life did not end. A huge portion of it did. One that can never be reclaimed. But, she understands that life moves forward. She is moving forward, too. I so admire her spirit and her determination. I admire her ability to accept what she cannot change and move forward to what might be in her future. It would have been so easy to be negative and down most of the time. She has willed herself to not do that.
And maybe there is the answer--her will. She does not want to burden others with her sorrow. She wants to live her life and enjoy people even though her heart is broken. She wills herself to get up and go. I love her so much for her strength. She is certainly an example for others who have walked her path.
Many years ago I decided to stay clear of negative folks. Sure, we are all negative sometime. We all get our feathers ruffled. But, these are temporary things. I avoid the company of those who only see the down side of life. I avoid them not because I don't care. I avoid them because they have the power to pull me down. That is not a place I wish to reside.
So, I have learned much from my friends this past week. They have given of themselves. They saw a need and worked to meet it. They are positive women with generous spirits.
I am so lucky to call them friend.
Tuesday, September 30, 2014
I Believe
I Believe--
I believe in surrounding my life with people who know how to laugh and cry. I believe that love is the greatest gift we can ever give or take with us. I believe that making new friends adds to the richness of our lives. I believe that chocolate must be eaten at least twice a day. I believe that fall evenings are magical. I believe that choice is sometimes very difficult. I believe that we all have to make changes in our lives from time to time. I believe that holding onto beliefs that are not productive is such a waste of our precious time. I believe that a smile can change a day. I believe that shared moments with family are the stuff of life. I believe that grandchildren are the absolute best. I believe I need to get serious about shedding a few pounds. Yes, I do. I believe that stopping and listening to the sounds around us renews our sense of wonder. I believe that walking in a gentle rain with no umbrella is delightful. I believe that listening to others is a gift we can give. I believe that reconnecting with old friends is priceless. I believe that growing older means I don't care what I say anymore. Love that!:) I believe that splashing through puddles is not for children only. I believe that seeing the night sky and marveling at its beauty puts us in touch with a higher power. I believe that quiet in a busy life grounds us. I believe that milkshakes are a necessary part of life. I believe that helping others succeed is what we should do. I believe that we are all here with a purpose. I believe that everyone is God's child. I believe that gathering around a table to talk about important issues helps us understand other people's point of view. I believe that I know so little. I believe that youth is wasted on youth! I believe that we can all help to make this world such a better place. I believe that I have company about to arrive. Gotta run. But, I believe that you are special. And I am grateful that you take the time from your busy day to read what I believe!
I believe in surrounding my life with people who know how to laugh and cry. I believe that love is the greatest gift we can ever give or take with us. I believe that making new friends adds to the richness of our lives. I believe that chocolate must be eaten at least twice a day. I believe that fall evenings are magical. I believe that choice is sometimes very difficult. I believe that we all have to make changes in our lives from time to time. I believe that holding onto beliefs that are not productive is such a waste of our precious time. I believe that a smile can change a day. I believe that shared moments with family are the stuff of life. I believe that grandchildren are the absolute best. I believe I need to get serious about shedding a few pounds. Yes, I do. I believe that stopping and listening to the sounds around us renews our sense of wonder. I believe that walking in a gentle rain with no umbrella is delightful. I believe that listening to others is a gift we can give. I believe that reconnecting with old friends is priceless. I believe that growing older means I don't care what I say anymore. Love that!:) I believe that splashing through puddles is not for children only. I believe that seeing the night sky and marveling at its beauty puts us in touch with a higher power. I believe that quiet in a busy life grounds us. I believe that milkshakes are a necessary part of life. I believe that helping others succeed is what we should do. I believe that we are all here with a purpose. I believe that everyone is God's child. I believe that gathering around a table to talk about important issues helps us understand other people's point of view. I believe that I know so little. I believe that youth is wasted on youth! I believe that we can all help to make this world such a better place. I believe that I have company about to arrive. Gotta run. But, I believe that you are special. And I am grateful that you take the time from your busy day to read what I believe!
Sunday, September 28, 2014
Share the Love
Share the Love--
With all the challenges this world is experiencing at this moment in time, sometimes I feel overwhelmed. What can one little old lady do to make this world a more peaceful and loving place? I have asked that question over and over. Each time I ask it, the same response appears in my mind. That response is not much. How discouraging for me that I can not think of one way to make this world a better place. Nevertheless, I continue to ask the question expecting an answer.
Since I am not super rich, I cannot fly all over the world with medicines and doctors to administer them. I cannot bring groups together at a table to talk. To get to know one another as individuals instead of groups. It seems to me that when we know people as individuals, we develop a greater understanding of them and of ourselves. I cannot protect people from violence. Wait a minute. Maybe I am looking at this through the wrong lens.
Instead of thinking about what I cannot do, perhaps I should turn my attention to what I can do. It is true I will not be traveling to far away places to solve multiple problems. In place of airline tickets, I can research my own area and see where I can do the most good. Many agencies need help. Maybe I can be one of those who provide what they need.
Food for those who do not have enough. Clothes for those who have need. Shoes to protect especially since it won't be long before the weather turns cold. Coats and blankets to bring warmth. Yes, there is much I can do right here. I might even meet a new friend along the way while doing what I can to meet needs.
The beauty of this type of care is no one has to know what is given. It can be done quietly. No need for newspaper articles or television recognition. It is more than enough to know that someone will be warm and have a full tummy. That children will have a coat and gloves for the cold winter that is just around the corner.
I have been thinking about ways to help that are specific to a group of people. Women who find themselves in dire need would appreciate the bare essentials for themselves as they spend their time thinking and worrying about how to care for their children. They hardly ever think about their own needs. What if some of us decided that we would do something very special for women? What if we set a goal of say 100 pairs of socks, or 100 pairs of new underwear, or 100 pairs of shoes? What if we decided that this would be done before the holidays? What if we asked for money or the items? What if we did this? Oh my. I am getting excited just thinking about this. I think there are many women out there who are reading this who would join together to care for women who are challenged by life. Sometimes through no fault of their own. Yes, I think this will work. The idea is forming in my mind.
So, I am asking you-each of you who are reading this-to make this a reality for 100 women. Shall we start with 100 pairs of underwear? New. Shall we gather these garments and present them to a group that provides care for women who have been abused? Or are in safe houses? Are you beginning to think about the difference this would make?
My new mantra is "Share the Love." This mantra begins with a verb. An action verb. It tells me to do something loving. To show care to those who need a lift in this life. Love can be mushy. But, it can also be an act of kindness and care. That is the type of love I am speaking to you and me about.
While I can certainly do this myself, I would love to have others join me in providing for women who find themselves in need of the basics of life. Together we can make a difference. A real difference in the lives of others.
I am looking forward to hearing from many of you. Why wouldn't we want to do this? I can think of no good reason.
"Share the love."
With all the challenges this world is experiencing at this moment in time, sometimes I feel overwhelmed. What can one little old lady do to make this world a more peaceful and loving place? I have asked that question over and over. Each time I ask it, the same response appears in my mind. That response is not much. How discouraging for me that I can not think of one way to make this world a better place. Nevertheless, I continue to ask the question expecting an answer.
Since I am not super rich, I cannot fly all over the world with medicines and doctors to administer them. I cannot bring groups together at a table to talk. To get to know one another as individuals instead of groups. It seems to me that when we know people as individuals, we develop a greater understanding of them and of ourselves. I cannot protect people from violence. Wait a minute. Maybe I am looking at this through the wrong lens.
Instead of thinking about what I cannot do, perhaps I should turn my attention to what I can do. It is true I will not be traveling to far away places to solve multiple problems. In place of airline tickets, I can research my own area and see where I can do the most good. Many agencies need help. Maybe I can be one of those who provide what they need.
Food for those who do not have enough. Clothes for those who have need. Shoes to protect especially since it won't be long before the weather turns cold. Coats and blankets to bring warmth. Yes, there is much I can do right here. I might even meet a new friend along the way while doing what I can to meet needs.
The beauty of this type of care is no one has to know what is given. It can be done quietly. No need for newspaper articles or television recognition. It is more than enough to know that someone will be warm and have a full tummy. That children will have a coat and gloves for the cold winter that is just around the corner.
I have been thinking about ways to help that are specific to a group of people. Women who find themselves in dire need would appreciate the bare essentials for themselves as they spend their time thinking and worrying about how to care for their children. They hardly ever think about their own needs. What if some of us decided that we would do something very special for women? What if we set a goal of say 100 pairs of socks, or 100 pairs of new underwear, or 100 pairs of shoes? What if we decided that this would be done before the holidays? What if we asked for money or the items? What if we did this? Oh my. I am getting excited just thinking about this. I think there are many women out there who are reading this who would join together to care for women who are challenged by life. Sometimes through no fault of their own. Yes, I think this will work. The idea is forming in my mind.
So, I am asking you-each of you who are reading this-to make this a reality for 100 women. Shall we start with 100 pairs of underwear? New. Shall we gather these garments and present them to a group that provides care for women who have been abused? Or are in safe houses? Are you beginning to think about the difference this would make?
My new mantra is "Share the Love." This mantra begins with a verb. An action verb. It tells me to do something loving. To show care to those who need a lift in this life. Love can be mushy. But, it can also be an act of kindness and care. That is the type of love I am speaking to you and me about.
While I can certainly do this myself, I would love to have others join me in providing for women who find themselves in need of the basics of life. Together we can make a difference. A real difference in the lives of others.
I am looking forward to hearing from many of you. Why wouldn't we want to do this? I can think of no good reason.
"Share the love."
Friday, September 26, 2014
Do We Ever Really Own Anything?
Do We Ever Really Own Anything?
I was thinking about how fun it would be to have a new house. One that has all the rooms one needs. One that hasn't been lived in by anyone else. A place with spaces to create. Art to hang. Colors on walls. One to own for a long time.
As I was thinking about all of that, a new thought began to worm its way into my mind. A thought that would not float away. It had to do with ownership.
We love to own things. A home, a car, furniture, art, jewelry, boats. When we pay for these things, we believe we own them. They are ours. We might have a mortgage, a loan, a credit card to pay for our fine things, We believe we own them once we take possession. We enjoy being able to live in our house, drive our car, sit on our furniture, wear our jewelry, study our art, ride on the water in our boat. Or maybe we have a motorcycle. Or a pool. Whatever suits our wants and needs, that is where our money goes. We enjoy sharing what we own with our family and friends. Life would be rather meaningless without others to share it with.
Here is the thought that would not leave me. We never really own anything. We are given the privilege of use for as long as we choose. But, things always pass to another generation or to new owners. The piece of land where my house sets will eventually belong to another person. And a person after that. It will pass through many hands. It is my responsibility to care for it so that those who come after will enjoy all the beauty that others have created.
We are the caretakers of our earth. We are given the wonderful opportunity to enjoy this planet and all that is on it for a finite amount of time. While we are here, this earth is in our care. While she spins in space, she has no control over how we treat her. She simply continues to give and give and give. Understanding that nothing is forever helps us value all the good that surrounds us. Our homes and all our possessions are gifts to be enjoyed for a little while. But, when we think outside our own space and realize that how we care for this earth will impact future generations, we know that we are to do more than simply enjoy. We are to become responsible stewards.
Sure, I will continue to use the word own. I will say that I own this house, this car, these art pieces. But, I know that this will end for me. Someone else will love this little piece of land. This car will eventually end up as metal to be used in another car. These art pieces will be moved to new locations or pitched in the trash. And that is all just fine. It is life moving forward. It is life being enjoyed for the time we have use of it.
Maybe understanding this gives us a new way of looking at life. Maybe we can relax and enjoy those things that we have without them owning us.
I was thinking about how fun it would be to have a new house. One that has all the rooms one needs. One that hasn't been lived in by anyone else. A place with spaces to create. Art to hang. Colors on walls. One to own for a long time.
As I was thinking about all of that, a new thought began to worm its way into my mind. A thought that would not float away. It had to do with ownership.
We love to own things. A home, a car, furniture, art, jewelry, boats. When we pay for these things, we believe we own them. They are ours. We might have a mortgage, a loan, a credit card to pay for our fine things, We believe we own them once we take possession. We enjoy being able to live in our house, drive our car, sit on our furniture, wear our jewelry, study our art, ride on the water in our boat. Or maybe we have a motorcycle. Or a pool. Whatever suits our wants and needs, that is where our money goes. We enjoy sharing what we own with our family and friends. Life would be rather meaningless without others to share it with.
Here is the thought that would not leave me. We never really own anything. We are given the privilege of use for as long as we choose. But, things always pass to another generation or to new owners. The piece of land where my house sets will eventually belong to another person. And a person after that. It will pass through many hands. It is my responsibility to care for it so that those who come after will enjoy all the beauty that others have created.
We are the caretakers of our earth. We are given the wonderful opportunity to enjoy this planet and all that is on it for a finite amount of time. While we are here, this earth is in our care. While she spins in space, she has no control over how we treat her. She simply continues to give and give and give. Understanding that nothing is forever helps us value all the good that surrounds us. Our homes and all our possessions are gifts to be enjoyed for a little while. But, when we think outside our own space and realize that how we care for this earth will impact future generations, we know that we are to do more than simply enjoy. We are to become responsible stewards.
Sure, I will continue to use the word own. I will say that I own this house, this car, these art pieces. But, I know that this will end for me. Someone else will love this little piece of land. This car will eventually end up as metal to be used in another car. These art pieces will be moved to new locations or pitched in the trash. And that is all just fine. It is life moving forward. It is life being enjoyed for the time we have use of it.
Maybe understanding this gives us a new way of looking at life. Maybe we can relax and enjoy those things that we have without them owning us.
Monday, September 22, 2014
Drama On and Off the Field--
Drama On and Off the Field--
Last Sunday we took a road trip. We had tickets to watch the St. Louis Rams play the Dallas Cowboys in St. Louis. It was a beautiful day. Perfect for a little car time.
The stadium was full. We were surprised to see as many or more Dallas fans as Ram's fans. One Ram's fan had on a short blue skirt, fuzzy blue knee socks, blue shiny jewelry, a painted face with blue around her eyes and hair that was done in a blue do. She made quite a presence. I loved her outfit. Takes a lot of courage to do your own thing when everyone else's idea of dressing for the game might be a jersey with their favorite player's number. Some folks simply like to stand out.
Our seats were seven rows from the field. They were great. We felt like we were part of the action. Being almost level with the players was a new experience for me. Some of those guys are monsters. They are huge.
Everything was going well until around the fourth quarter. Dallas pulled ahead of the Rams. It was pretty exciting. Everyone knew it could go either way. In fact, for a bit the score was tied. Overtime was a definite possibility. At the absolute last few seconds Dallas intercepted the ball, and the game ended.
For the first time in my life of attending sporting events, I thought a fight was eminent. A young man was seated two rows down in front of us. He was a Cowboy fan. He would stand up and yell even though he was surrounded by Ram's fans. He would address certain people and make them uncomfortable. His language became quite nasty, and he accused everyone sitting around him of harrassing him. People tried to calm him, but it was evident it was only going to get worse.
At one point the young red headed man with small children, whose seat was next to this guy, left for a bit. When he returned, the loud mouth was in his seat. He asked in a very kind and polite manner for his seat. The guy refused. That was the first moment when I thought it might get ugly. Security was summonded. Before they could arrive, a fellow behind us tried to calm the unruly guy down. It didn't work. They were on their way to meet and duke it out when finally security arrived.
As I watched and listened, and you had to listen because it was practically in your lap, I thought about how nasty people can be. All around this young man were people who were trying to calm him down. They were trying to reason with him. He wasn't interested in anything but what he had to say, and who he was ready to hit. Security stayed with him until the game ended. They should have escorted him out of the building. I don't know why they didn't.
It was so interesting to watch this man and his behavior. He was probably in his 20's. You know the type--has all the answers and talks when everyone else is. Loud and rude. I wondered why he behaved the way he did. Wondered why he thought it ok to accuse others of whatever was on his mind. It was sad, really. And certainly a learning experience. Was glad the children had been taken away by the time it got really ugly.
In spite of all the drama, we had a great time. As we were leaving, I wondered what the rest of the day would look like for this young man. My hope is he calmed down and walked away peacefully. I fear for him and his safety.
Even though he would never guess, he provided all of us with a great lesson in how not to behave in a public arena and how to push people far, far away. He would say he didn't care. But, I think he does care. You could see it in his eyes.
It was evening when we arrived safely back home. The interesting thing about all the events that took place is this. We talked about plays. We talked about passes and defense. We spent no time talking about him. That would suprise him, I am sure.
A Delicate Situation--
A Delicate Situation--
So many experiences in life. Some I try to forget, some make me laugh, others make me cringe. This one does all three at once.
It was spring. Time for the school band to travel to another town about an hour away to be judged. I did not teach band. I did accompany many band students at contests so I knew all the students. Many were quite talented.
The adjudication was very early on a Saturday morning. The band teacher asked me to accompany the group. Ride the bus on a Saturday. Was he out of his mind? He explained that he needed a woman in case the girls in the band had any challenges. Very reluctantly I agreed.
It was quite cool that early Saturday morning. You will understand later why I am telling you what I wore that day. I wore a dress, slip, panty hose. I also wore a long rain coat with a belt. Everyone was dressed in their best as that was part of the experience.
We boarded the bus and began the hour long trip. Kids were sleepy. So was I. When we arrived, everyone unloaded and headed into the school. I would be last off. Just before I stood to leave, someone tapped my shoulder. There was a problem.
Now this is a bit delicate. A young woman wearing white pants had that accident all women fear. After sending the friend into the school, a plan began to materialize in my mind. She was a very important part of the band. She had to perform. I had no car to make a run to a store. Besides, there were only minutes before the doors would close behind the band, and the performance would begin.
Quickly I handed her my raincoat. I instructed her to grab her instrument, and we raced into the school looking for a bathroom. Once inside, I told her to undress. To hand her clothes to me under the stall. I undressed in my stall. Off came my dress, my slip, my panty hose. I handed them under to her. How interesting that they all fit her. Once dressed, off she ran to join the band.
So there I was in a bathroom stall before 8 AM with underwear, a raincoat and a pair of shoes. I buttoned all the buttons on that coat, tied the belt and slipped into my shoes. They were closing the doors to the gym just as I arrived. I was able to scoot in and listen to the band. They played beautifully.
After everyone was loaded on the bus, we began the hour trip home. As spring days will, it became warm. The band teacher and I talked about how well the kids performed. He was so pleased. And then he mentioned that the bus was getting hot. Would I like to remove my coat? He would be glad to drap it across the bar in front of the seat.
Well, no, I wouldn't. He had no idea what had happened. He had no idea that sitting beside him was a teacher dressed only in underwear, a raincoat and a pair of shoes. That isn't something one shares. All the way back to the school, I prayed that no accident occured. I could see newspaper headlines about a teacher dressed only in....
Thinking back on my college days and the education courses I took, I do not remember a single one that instructed me how to handle this type of crisis. Some things simply come to you when the need arrives.
Only one of the many unusual experiences of my teaching career.
So many experiences in life. Some I try to forget, some make me laugh, others make me cringe. This one does all three at once.
It was spring. Time for the school band to travel to another town about an hour away to be judged. I did not teach band. I did accompany many band students at contests so I knew all the students. Many were quite talented.
The adjudication was very early on a Saturday morning. The band teacher asked me to accompany the group. Ride the bus on a Saturday. Was he out of his mind? He explained that he needed a woman in case the girls in the band had any challenges. Very reluctantly I agreed.
It was quite cool that early Saturday morning. You will understand later why I am telling you what I wore that day. I wore a dress, slip, panty hose. I also wore a long rain coat with a belt. Everyone was dressed in their best as that was part of the experience.
We boarded the bus and began the hour long trip. Kids were sleepy. So was I. When we arrived, everyone unloaded and headed into the school. I would be last off. Just before I stood to leave, someone tapped my shoulder. There was a problem.
Now this is a bit delicate. A young woman wearing white pants had that accident all women fear. After sending the friend into the school, a plan began to materialize in my mind. She was a very important part of the band. She had to perform. I had no car to make a run to a store. Besides, there were only minutes before the doors would close behind the band, and the performance would begin.
Quickly I handed her my raincoat. I instructed her to grab her instrument, and we raced into the school looking for a bathroom. Once inside, I told her to undress. To hand her clothes to me under the stall. I undressed in my stall. Off came my dress, my slip, my panty hose. I handed them under to her. How interesting that they all fit her. Once dressed, off she ran to join the band.
So there I was in a bathroom stall before 8 AM with underwear, a raincoat and a pair of shoes. I buttoned all the buttons on that coat, tied the belt and slipped into my shoes. They were closing the doors to the gym just as I arrived. I was able to scoot in and listen to the band. They played beautifully.
After everyone was loaded on the bus, we began the hour trip home. As spring days will, it became warm. The band teacher and I talked about how well the kids performed. He was so pleased. And then he mentioned that the bus was getting hot. Would I like to remove my coat? He would be glad to drap it across the bar in front of the seat.
Well, no, I wouldn't. He had no idea what had happened. He had no idea that sitting beside him was a teacher dressed only in underwear, a raincoat and a pair of shoes. That isn't something one shares. All the way back to the school, I prayed that no accident occured. I could see newspaper headlines about a teacher dressed only in....
Thinking back on my college days and the education courses I took, I do not remember a single one that instructed me how to handle this type of crisis. Some things simply come to you when the need arrives.
Only one of the many unusual experiences of my teaching career.
Saturday, September 20, 2014
Garage Visitor--
Garage Visitor--
Update from the Wisdom County Home--
A Groundhog was just found nosing around in our garage. Have no idea what he/she might have been looking for. Now it is imperative we keep the garage door down.
Update from the Wisdom County Home--
A Groundhog was just found nosing around in our garage. Have no idea what he/she might have been looking for. Now it is imperative we keep the garage door down.
Not a Fan of Fall--
Not a Fan of Fall--
It's that time of year. Everyone is loving the cooler weather. Trees are beginning to turn those lovely colors. Football games add to the charm of fall. Days slowly become shorter. Sweaters and jackets are brought out. Blankets appear in baskets in the family room. Time to cover up while watching tv. Apple pie and cider fill the house with their aroma. Festivals abound in small towns. Everyone loves it.
I don't. Well, I do enjoy the cooler weather, the vibrant colors, the college football games. Festivals are fun, and anything to do with apples is yummy. But, that is as far as it goes with me. Yep. I am not a fan of fall. I realize that puts me at odds with almost every human alive on planet earth. I can handle that. Until there is a conversation about how wonderful fall is. I usually don't engage in those conversations. No need to spoil another's joy.
Why don't I like fall, you ask? Living in the Midwest means when fall arrives, winter is creeping in, too. Actually, winter never creeps in. It comes in with a shout, a roar. It swoops in like a hawk heading for a mouse. No warning. All of a sudden, there she is. Big and cold. For months and months and months. Oh my. Writing these words makes my heart heavy. (not really)
All the lovely plants in my yard and everywhere around this area begin to develop that look. You know the one I am writing about. They have the look of death. Beautiful flowers no longer bloom. Hosta begin to turn brown and wither away. Nothing has a fresh look about it. It all looks tired and weary. To keep the beds tidy, I pull and trim and cut all that dead stuff away. Trying to buy a little more time to enjoy them before they are all gone.
Leaves make their departure from heights they have enjoyed all summer. They cover the earth. While they do make beautiful piles to jump in, their journey to the ground means no green leaves for months and months. Soon trees will stand majestically against the wind, snow, rain with nothing to protect themselves. Poor things.
The boat will have to be removed from the lake. No more days spent cleaning layers and layers of bugs. How sad.
Fields of corn and soy beans will be no more. The earth where they grew will be void of any plant life. Acres and acres of empty fields with nothing growing. That landscape goes on and on. Certainly not depressing for farmers, but for those of us who yearn for mountains and streams, a bit lonely.
I hear people remarking that it is the time for the earth to rest. They say it gives something to look forward to. Really? Do these folks really look forward to being housebound with no electricity? Do they look forward to roads that require the driving skills of a race car driver to navigate?
Are you completely depressed by now? Well, don't be. Sometimes I enjoy taking the opposite point of view and seeing life through those lens. However, I still don't like fall. I enjoy the world putting on its best dress. Dolling up for all of us. Green, purple, red, yellow, orange, blue. I miss all those colors for all those months they are gone.
Yes, spring will return. The earth will warm. But right now I have to deal with fall. The end of everything giving all it has, and the beginning of the long wait.
Think a plane ticket is in the plans?:)
It's that time of year. Everyone is loving the cooler weather. Trees are beginning to turn those lovely colors. Football games add to the charm of fall. Days slowly become shorter. Sweaters and jackets are brought out. Blankets appear in baskets in the family room. Time to cover up while watching tv. Apple pie and cider fill the house with their aroma. Festivals abound in small towns. Everyone loves it.
I don't. Well, I do enjoy the cooler weather, the vibrant colors, the college football games. Festivals are fun, and anything to do with apples is yummy. But, that is as far as it goes with me. Yep. I am not a fan of fall. I realize that puts me at odds with almost every human alive on planet earth. I can handle that. Until there is a conversation about how wonderful fall is. I usually don't engage in those conversations. No need to spoil another's joy.
Why don't I like fall, you ask? Living in the Midwest means when fall arrives, winter is creeping in, too. Actually, winter never creeps in. It comes in with a shout, a roar. It swoops in like a hawk heading for a mouse. No warning. All of a sudden, there she is. Big and cold. For months and months and months. Oh my. Writing these words makes my heart heavy. (not really)
All the lovely plants in my yard and everywhere around this area begin to develop that look. You know the one I am writing about. They have the look of death. Beautiful flowers no longer bloom. Hosta begin to turn brown and wither away. Nothing has a fresh look about it. It all looks tired and weary. To keep the beds tidy, I pull and trim and cut all that dead stuff away. Trying to buy a little more time to enjoy them before they are all gone.
Leaves make their departure from heights they have enjoyed all summer. They cover the earth. While they do make beautiful piles to jump in, their journey to the ground means no green leaves for months and months. Soon trees will stand majestically against the wind, snow, rain with nothing to protect themselves. Poor things.
The boat will have to be removed from the lake. No more days spent cleaning layers and layers of bugs. How sad.
Fields of corn and soy beans will be no more. The earth where they grew will be void of any plant life. Acres and acres of empty fields with nothing growing. That landscape goes on and on. Certainly not depressing for farmers, but for those of us who yearn for mountains and streams, a bit lonely.
I hear people remarking that it is the time for the earth to rest. They say it gives something to look forward to. Really? Do these folks really look forward to being housebound with no electricity? Do they look forward to roads that require the driving skills of a race car driver to navigate?
Are you completely depressed by now? Well, don't be. Sometimes I enjoy taking the opposite point of view and seeing life through those lens. However, I still don't like fall. I enjoy the world putting on its best dress. Dolling up for all of us. Green, purple, red, yellow, orange, blue. I miss all those colors for all those months they are gone.
Yes, spring will return. The earth will warm. But right now I have to deal with fall. The end of everything giving all it has, and the beginning of the long wait.
Think a plane ticket is in the plans?:)
Friday, September 19, 2014
Jars, Bugs, Joy--
Jars, Bugs, Joy--
Our grandson learned to ride his bright, shiny bike today. How exciting for him. He can now get from Point A to Point B in record time. He can feel the wind in his face as he races down the driveway. Nothing like learning to ride a bike. His bright eyes and big smile show the delight he feels in knowing how to ride a two-wheeler. It truly is an accomplishment that will last a life-time.
Don't you simply love the joy that comes from mastering something new? It never gets old-this joy that washes over us when we finally gain a new skill. Yes, anything new that we don't quite get requires practice. It might be cooking, or running a 5K, or singing in front of a group of people. Whatever it is, the feeling is probably close to the same. Joy. Pure and simple. Joy. Laughter. Pride. And a desire to do that one thing again and again.
Wouldn't it be lovely if we could gather up that feeling of joy and happiness and put it in a jar? Maybe if we screwed the lid on tightly, it would remain close at hand when we need it. Who doesn't need a little laughter and joy? I needed a jar full yesterday.
We decided to visit our pontoon at the lake. Take a little ride and enjoy the quiet. Cruise slowly. Take in the beauty of the afternoon. It certainly sounded good. Spirits were high. It had been quite awhile since we had the time to enjoy the lake. Walking to the boat, my spirits began to sink just a bit. All the boats were covered with dead bugs. I don't mean a few scattered here and there. I mean a solid cover of dead, disgusting bugs covering everything. No doubt when we arrived at our slip our boat would look the same.
Well, actually it looked worse. We had intended to return to the lake and put the cover on the boat. We forgot to do that. It was covered, and I do mean covered, with dead insects. Spiders had built lovely webs from everyplace they could attach a web. There was not one section of the boat that was not plastered with dead bugs. I wanted to cry. Scream actually. There was nothing to do but try to get rid of them.
After an hour of wiping down seats, console, motor, deck, floor, we decided to move into the lake and finish what we could do as we cruised along. It was hard work. Dead bugs do not clean up easily. Elbow grease was required. Does it help to mutter nasty remarks while cleaning? I think it does.
By now you have probably figured out that there was not much laughter on the boat ride. How nice to have had that jar full of laughter and joy. Certainly would have opened it and breathed from its contents. To be honest, we did have a few laughs as we cleaned. I think we were so exhausted that simple things began to seem hysterical.
While I do not think cleaning dead bugs is a new skill we have acquired, I do think even this situation brings an occasion for laughter. Laughing at the stupid things we do-like not replacing the boat cover-takes away their importance. It was a bad decision we made when we left it open to whatever wanted a place to rest. If I were a bug, I would certainly enjoy a clean boat for my final resting place. And what spider wouldn't love to lay eggs in such a perfect spot? Even found a few white feathers. Guess the owner enjoyed a rest from all the flying around required if one is a bird.
The ability to laugh at our own mistakes means we understand how insignificant many things truly are. We give them more importance than they deserve when we get angry. We allow them to take away our joy. The bugs, spiders and birds did not do their nasty deeds simply to make me angry. They were being bugs, spiders and birds. Simple as that.
While I have learned a lesson from this, I think it would be a great idea to be able to take a jar full of laughter and joy with me everywhere I go. Not only for my own pleasure, but also to sprinkle over others making their day bright and shiny-just like a new bike.
Our grandson learned to ride his bright, shiny bike today. How exciting for him. He can now get from Point A to Point B in record time. He can feel the wind in his face as he races down the driveway. Nothing like learning to ride a bike. His bright eyes and big smile show the delight he feels in knowing how to ride a two-wheeler. It truly is an accomplishment that will last a life-time.
Don't you simply love the joy that comes from mastering something new? It never gets old-this joy that washes over us when we finally gain a new skill. Yes, anything new that we don't quite get requires practice. It might be cooking, or running a 5K, or singing in front of a group of people. Whatever it is, the feeling is probably close to the same. Joy. Pure and simple. Joy. Laughter. Pride. And a desire to do that one thing again and again.
Wouldn't it be lovely if we could gather up that feeling of joy and happiness and put it in a jar? Maybe if we screwed the lid on tightly, it would remain close at hand when we need it. Who doesn't need a little laughter and joy? I needed a jar full yesterday.
We decided to visit our pontoon at the lake. Take a little ride and enjoy the quiet. Cruise slowly. Take in the beauty of the afternoon. It certainly sounded good. Spirits were high. It had been quite awhile since we had the time to enjoy the lake. Walking to the boat, my spirits began to sink just a bit. All the boats were covered with dead bugs. I don't mean a few scattered here and there. I mean a solid cover of dead, disgusting bugs covering everything. No doubt when we arrived at our slip our boat would look the same.
Well, actually it looked worse. We had intended to return to the lake and put the cover on the boat. We forgot to do that. It was covered, and I do mean covered, with dead insects. Spiders had built lovely webs from everyplace they could attach a web. There was not one section of the boat that was not plastered with dead bugs. I wanted to cry. Scream actually. There was nothing to do but try to get rid of them.
After an hour of wiping down seats, console, motor, deck, floor, we decided to move into the lake and finish what we could do as we cruised along. It was hard work. Dead bugs do not clean up easily. Elbow grease was required. Does it help to mutter nasty remarks while cleaning? I think it does.
By now you have probably figured out that there was not much laughter on the boat ride. How nice to have had that jar full of laughter and joy. Certainly would have opened it and breathed from its contents. To be honest, we did have a few laughs as we cleaned. I think we were so exhausted that simple things began to seem hysterical.
While I do not think cleaning dead bugs is a new skill we have acquired, I do think even this situation brings an occasion for laughter. Laughing at the stupid things we do-like not replacing the boat cover-takes away their importance. It was a bad decision we made when we left it open to whatever wanted a place to rest. If I were a bug, I would certainly enjoy a clean boat for my final resting place. And what spider wouldn't love to lay eggs in such a perfect spot? Even found a few white feathers. Guess the owner enjoyed a rest from all the flying around required if one is a bird.
The ability to laugh at our own mistakes means we understand how insignificant many things truly are. We give them more importance than they deserve when we get angry. We allow them to take away our joy. The bugs, spiders and birds did not do their nasty deeds simply to make me angry. They were being bugs, spiders and birds. Simple as that.
While I have learned a lesson from this, I think it would be a great idea to be able to take a jar full of laughter and joy with me everywhere I go. Not only for my own pleasure, but also to sprinkle over others making their day bright and shiny-just like a new bike.
Thursday, September 11, 2014
Merging Lanes-Disaster!
Merging Lanes-Disaster!
So, I am driving down the interstate when a sign announces that a lane will close in two miles. As I get closer to the lane closure, another sign informs that it is the left lane that will be closed in half a mile. With this knowledge, I pass one more semi truck and then settle into the right lane. And that is when the aggravation begins to slowly seep into my whole being.
Many vehicles have moved to the right lane in anticipation of the lane closure. However, flying past in the left lane are all those vehicles who also read the sign. For some unknown reason, they decided to continue in the left lane until it ends. What usually happens is as they near the place where they must merge, right blinkers appear. There is the expectation that those in the right lane who have been in the stop and go mode will allow them to move into the right lane and continue their journey.
A new wrinkle to this situation is when semi drivers pull their big rigs into the left lane thus forcing drivers to pull into the right lane. No cars can speed by. They must take their place in line. The right lane. They are performing such a great service to everyone. Those who have to allow the merge no longer feel the anger and frustration mounting. The lanes move at a slow but steady pace thus allowing little or no stopping and starting. I suppose those who are trapped by the semis are not particularly happy, but the rest of us are so grateful.
When I find myself in this situation, a person I don't recongnize appears. As more cars zip by in the left lane, my frustration grows. The first one or two cars that fly by--I think perhaps they didn't see the last sign. I understand that because it has happened to me. Then another ten or so cars pass, and my frustration begins to turn into something much more sinister. At this point I realize they know exactly what they are doing. They are making a run for it. They are going to race to the end and then expect some kind soul to allow them in. They could care less that the rest of us in the right lane have been allowing others to merge for thirty minutes. It is all about them. And now I am mad. I say outloud that if anyone turns on that blinker, I will close that gap and force someone behind me to let them in. Yes, that is what I will do. I will not allow them to get in front of me. Just let them try.
My hands grip the steering wheel. My decision is made. This is war. No one is going to edge me out of my rightful place on this strip of cement. No eye contact is made with the people in the left lane. They are now the enemy.
And then someone realizes what they have done. The car slows and the blinker appears. They don't want to wait until the last minute to ask permission to merge into the right lane. Maybe they were visiting with others in the car and lost track of time. Maybe they were in deep thought about some challenge they are facing. Perhaps they feel bad that they did this deed. And now they want me, yes me, to allow them to merge in front of me. It is the moment of truth. It is one of the defining moments of my life. Well, maybe it isn't that significant, but it is important. What will I do? How will I behave?
All I have to do is slow down just enough for them to edge into the right lane. It is only one car. But then, they should have been paying more attention.
So, I.....
So, I am driving down the interstate when a sign announces that a lane will close in two miles. As I get closer to the lane closure, another sign informs that it is the left lane that will be closed in half a mile. With this knowledge, I pass one more semi truck and then settle into the right lane. And that is when the aggravation begins to slowly seep into my whole being.
Many vehicles have moved to the right lane in anticipation of the lane closure. However, flying past in the left lane are all those vehicles who also read the sign. For some unknown reason, they decided to continue in the left lane until it ends. What usually happens is as they near the place where they must merge, right blinkers appear. There is the expectation that those in the right lane who have been in the stop and go mode will allow them to move into the right lane and continue their journey.
A new wrinkle to this situation is when semi drivers pull their big rigs into the left lane thus forcing drivers to pull into the right lane. No cars can speed by. They must take their place in line. The right lane. They are performing such a great service to everyone. Those who have to allow the merge no longer feel the anger and frustration mounting. The lanes move at a slow but steady pace thus allowing little or no stopping and starting. I suppose those who are trapped by the semis are not particularly happy, but the rest of us are so grateful.
When I find myself in this situation, a person I don't recongnize appears. As more cars zip by in the left lane, my frustration grows. The first one or two cars that fly by--I think perhaps they didn't see the last sign. I understand that because it has happened to me. Then another ten or so cars pass, and my frustration begins to turn into something much more sinister. At this point I realize they know exactly what they are doing. They are making a run for it. They are going to race to the end and then expect some kind soul to allow them in. They could care less that the rest of us in the right lane have been allowing others to merge for thirty minutes. It is all about them. And now I am mad. I say outloud that if anyone turns on that blinker, I will close that gap and force someone behind me to let them in. Yes, that is what I will do. I will not allow them to get in front of me. Just let them try.
My hands grip the steering wheel. My decision is made. This is war. No one is going to edge me out of my rightful place on this strip of cement. No eye contact is made with the people in the left lane. They are now the enemy.
And then someone realizes what they have done. The car slows and the blinker appears. They don't want to wait until the last minute to ask permission to merge into the right lane. Maybe they were visiting with others in the car and lost track of time. Maybe they were in deep thought about some challenge they are facing. Perhaps they feel bad that they did this deed. And now they want me, yes me, to allow them to merge in front of me. It is the moment of truth. It is one of the defining moments of my life. Well, maybe it isn't that significant, but it is important. What will I do? How will I behave?
All I have to do is slow down just enough for them to edge into the right lane. It is only one car. But then, they should have been paying more attention.
So, I.....
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