Another Year--
Seeing excitement on the faces of children and teens is all most of us need to say it was a good time-a great time. Watching faces as gifts are unwrapped is one of the joys of life. What is inside? How did the giver know that this was what we wanted most? The wonder of it all.
A year has passed since we last opened gifts together. An entire year. All those days, weeks and months of living. Watching one season melt into another. Laughing with one another over some goofy thing that was said or done. A memory made. Crying about a hurt or disappointment. Vowing to learn lessons so that we don't repeat past errors. Accepting that good and bad are the stuff of life. It is how we deal with it all that makes us who we are.
Walking through gardens on an early spring day in anticipation of the beauty that will suddenly appear. Summer with flowers and plants full grown make us smile and remember what they looked like the year before. Not quite as large or full. Fall arrives. Colors fill the air. The sun comes at us from a new angle Blue skies seem bluer. Everything begins the transition. Rest. Wait. Refresh. Winter brings its own beauty. Bare tree trunks against a gray sky. Cold winds bring shivers. Scarves decorate necks. And the cycle continues.
During those seasons some have experienced loss. The kind of loss that tears at the heart and soul. A place at the table and in the heart that will not be filled. Memories everywhere. Yet, just as the seasons of the earth, humans have seasons. We are born, we grow and learn, we reach adulthood, we work, we retire, we return to that from which we came. It is the process that we all will experience. Some sooner than others. Memories.
Joy arrives with babies, weddings, new jobs, new friends, something wished for gained. Joy washes over us like beautiful snow flakes falling on a winter's night. We see it. We feel it. We taste it. It takes our breath away. We are encouraged. Joy has come. We will never be quite the same. Joy is that part of us that starts at our toes and leaps from our eyes as we enter its presence. That thing we long for every day of our lives.
Lessons learned fill the seasons. Learning when to move forward or when to turn away helps us enjoy a more satisfying life. We all have choice. There are those times when flowers planted do not grow. Do not bloom. Plants may be planted in the wrong spot. Too much sun. Too much shade. Not enough water. When we observe a plant or flower struggling to stay alive, we have a choice. Either we allow it to struggle or we move it to a better location. The same is true of life. We may find ourselves in situations that are challenging. What to do? Where to go for help? If we are to bloom and grow to our fullest, it maybe necessary to make some changes. Easy? No. But then, many things in life are not easy.
Memories fill our hearts. Remember? Remember when we stayed up late and drank a couple of bottles of wine together? Remember when we sat around a table and enjoyed a meal and good conversation? Or played cards and knew the person next to us was cheating? And we didn't care? Remember when we took a short trip on the spur of the moment and had a marvelous time? Remember when we looked at old photographs of our families and felt their closeness? Remember...These are also the seasons of our lives. We will talk about them always. Remember the day we took that trip to Chicago on the busiest shopping day of the year? Remember when we were stranded at an airport? Remember when our sweet dog left us? Hopefully, memories are mostly happy. Happy times shared.
Now we have made the cycle once again. We are grateful that we are still around. Grateful that we can enjoy one more Christmas season. One more opportunity to love on one another. To make sweet memories that will hold us through the cold winter days and nights.
Soon gifts will be opened. Eyes will light up with joy. Thanks will echo in rooms. Laughter will fill the air. Another year. Another chance to get it right. Another opportunity to tell someone you love them. To fill life with love and joy. To say I am sorry and make things better. To forgive. To seek love and peace. Don't let it pass you by.
Merry Christmas.
Wednesday, December 23, 2015
Friday, December 18, 2015
Expectations
Expectations--
What are my expectations? Should I even have any? Are expectations good? Are they bad? Are they neutral? What if my expectations miss a mark? Is it possible to go beyond expectations?
Absolutely I have expectations about certain things. I expect my car to start when I get in it. I expect my house to be standing when I return from a trip. I expect my retirement check to arrive in the mail so I can pay those bills that demand payment. These are only a few of the things I hope and expect to be in place in my life. If any of these expectations cease, my life will be a little more challenged. So, yes, there are some expectations that I do have.
There are many things I do not expect. When I purchase a lottery ticket, I really do not expect my numbers to be the winning ones. But, boy I can dream! Owning a second or third home is another expectation I do not have. Add to that the latest sports car or the biggest diamond. There is no expectation that I will be the next governor or president. Being a gourmet cook is another skill that is lacking from my abilities. This list is very long.
Would I say that having expectations is good or bad? Some of both. The thing about expectations is this. If we set the mark so high that no one can ever reach it, then we are the ones who suffer. When we have a view of how things should be and are dissappointed when those expectations are not met, we feel let down. It's almost as if we have a hidden set of rules that we don't share with others. We keep them deep inside. Actually, we are playing with a stacked deck. Since others are not in on our set of expectations, they have no opportunity to even have a discussion with us. They are in the dark. In that case, expectations become negative.
They are good when we set our hearts toward our personal goals. When we want to go to a certain location and set goals toward reaching that expectation, that is a good thing. Or when we work hard at achieving something personal. Maybe winning a race or getting that hit to drive the runner on third home for the big win. Personal goals do not negatively impact others. They are set for ourselves. Certainly we can set them too high, but they are always adjustable. These types of expectations drive us forward to being better for ourselves and others.
What about Christmas? Are there expectations that are positive? Negative? The positive ones include time with family and friends. Time to celebrate whatever religious tradition we observe. Time to give a gift to someone we love. Time to listen to beautiful music prepared especially for this season. Time to hug people and say Merry Christmas. Time to embrace the season and let it move us to a place of love and peace.
Negative? Yes, that is possible. When we expect certain things or actions, and they do not show up, our feelings are hurt. We might feel that others don't love us. Or we see what others have and become aware once again that we don't have those things. Christmas can be a dreaded season when life has dealt us challenges. When we feel alone or lonely. And we all know it is possible to be lonely in a crowd of people. Or when we want to give a gift but lack the funds to do so. Especially during this season it is easy to slip into despair. Why can't our lives be like all the others we are observing?
This is what I think. Let go of expectations. Learn to love others for who they are. Not for what we think they want. Enjoy diverse personalities. Welcome unique ways of doing things. Laugh more. Smile more. Be delighted when those unexpected things occur. They are truly gifts. Give people a little space. Allow them to live their life without judgment. Simply welcome all. We don't have to be alike to have fun together. We don't have to believe the exact same things to share moments. The less we expect the happier we will be. You see, when we set expectations of others, we are making it all about us. We need to think about that a bit. Mull it over in our minds.
Life is short. Let's concentrate on the joy others bring into our lives. Let's celebrate the fact that we have the opportunity to share moments on this planet. Let's find the absolute good.
Back off expectations. Move toward love.
What are my expectations? Should I even have any? Are expectations good? Are they bad? Are they neutral? What if my expectations miss a mark? Is it possible to go beyond expectations?
Absolutely I have expectations about certain things. I expect my car to start when I get in it. I expect my house to be standing when I return from a trip. I expect my retirement check to arrive in the mail so I can pay those bills that demand payment. These are only a few of the things I hope and expect to be in place in my life. If any of these expectations cease, my life will be a little more challenged. So, yes, there are some expectations that I do have.
There are many things I do not expect. When I purchase a lottery ticket, I really do not expect my numbers to be the winning ones. But, boy I can dream! Owning a second or third home is another expectation I do not have. Add to that the latest sports car or the biggest diamond. There is no expectation that I will be the next governor or president. Being a gourmet cook is another skill that is lacking from my abilities. This list is very long.
Would I say that having expectations is good or bad? Some of both. The thing about expectations is this. If we set the mark so high that no one can ever reach it, then we are the ones who suffer. When we have a view of how things should be and are dissappointed when those expectations are not met, we feel let down. It's almost as if we have a hidden set of rules that we don't share with others. We keep them deep inside. Actually, we are playing with a stacked deck. Since others are not in on our set of expectations, they have no opportunity to even have a discussion with us. They are in the dark. In that case, expectations become negative.
They are good when we set our hearts toward our personal goals. When we want to go to a certain location and set goals toward reaching that expectation, that is a good thing. Or when we work hard at achieving something personal. Maybe winning a race or getting that hit to drive the runner on third home for the big win. Personal goals do not negatively impact others. They are set for ourselves. Certainly we can set them too high, but they are always adjustable. These types of expectations drive us forward to being better for ourselves and others.
What about Christmas? Are there expectations that are positive? Negative? The positive ones include time with family and friends. Time to celebrate whatever religious tradition we observe. Time to give a gift to someone we love. Time to listen to beautiful music prepared especially for this season. Time to hug people and say Merry Christmas. Time to embrace the season and let it move us to a place of love and peace.
Negative? Yes, that is possible. When we expect certain things or actions, and they do not show up, our feelings are hurt. We might feel that others don't love us. Or we see what others have and become aware once again that we don't have those things. Christmas can be a dreaded season when life has dealt us challenges. When we feel alone or lonely. And we all know it is possible to be lonely in a crowd of people. Or when we want to give a gift but lack the funds to do so. Especially during this season it is easy to slip into despair. Why can't our lives be like all the others we are observing?
This is what I think. Let go of expectations. Learn to love others for who they are. Not for what we think they want. Enjoy diverse personalities. Welcome unique ways of doing things. Laugh more. Smile more. Be delighted when those unexpected things occur. They are truly gifts. Give people a little space. Allow them to live their life without judgment. Simply welcome all. We don't have to be alike to have fun together. We don't have to believe the exact same things to share moments. The less we expect the happier we will be. You see, when we set expectations of others, we are making it all about us. We need to think about that a bit. Mull it over in our minds.
Life is short. Let's concentrate on the joy others bring into our lives. Let's celebrate the fact that we have the opportunity to share moments on this planet. Let's find the absolute good.
Back off expectations. Move toward love.
Wednesday, December 16, 2015
I Looked
I Looked--
I looked at all the beauty in this world. I saw the kindness of people, the beauty of friendship, the wonder of this planet and all she gives, the love of family, the examples of grace in so many lives.
What I saw filled my spirit with thankfulness. May I always see others through eyes of grace and care. Always and forever.
I looked at all the beauty in this world. I saw the kindness of people, the beauty of friendship, the wonder of this planet and all she gives, the love of family, the examples of grace in so many lives.
What I saw filled my spirit with thankfulness. May I always see others through eyes of grace and care. Always and forever.
Tuesday, December 15, 2015
The Beauty in Life
The Beauty in Life--
With so much ugly happening in our world, let us turn our attention to the pretty. Let us give ourselves over to what is good and right and kind. Let us care for one another even when life is on a good course. People need affirmation that what they are accomplishing is worthy. That they are walking in a good way.
Celebration must be present in life everyday. Celebrate that we have one more day to practice care for others. Celebrate that we have choice. Celebrate that we can come together to talk about our differences. Celebrate that we can make decisions about our actions and beliefs.
It is my observation that a smile given is a smile returned. Is that a little thing? An insignificant action? I don't think so. Many of us are walking around in skin that is worried. Or upset. Or fearful. When a stranger offers that smile, we feel part of us relaxing. We return that lovely greeting and walk away feeling better. I realize we cannot know another's battles. But, we can offer what we can to a world that needs care. Making eye contact and smiling as we meet fellow shoppers during this busy season, is a way of offering ourselves. Of moving away from being centered on ourselves. It truly does matter that we do this small, simple thing.
While decorated trees, twinkling lights and gifts occupy a large part of this season, giving to others in need soars. People reach into wallets or their own personal time and offer assistance. They want others to have one day of joy. One day with full tummys. One day when people they do not know offer words of hope and encouragement. The truth of these acts is the givers receive as much or more than than those they help. It is my belief that we do not wish to be uncaring. To refuse to see need. I think we are all so busy with making a living that we forget to make a life. We forget to schedule time to think about the real meaning of life. It is so easy to fall into this habit. Days follow days. Weeks pass. We mean to do this thing for someone in need, but we are just so busy. This is a true statement. How to change from thoughts to actions? Something to ponder.
Recently someone in the car ahead of mine in the drive-thru at Starbucks purchased my drink. That is no small thing. Coffee costs more than a gallon of gas. It made my heart smile, and it made me think about ways I could pay it forward. The person in the car in front of mine probably did not know me. He/she simply offered a bit of sunshine to me. A lovely gesture to a stranger.
And then there is this young man who works at Starbucks. Over time we have become friends. We wave to one another when I go through to pick up my drink. We did not share names. Just spent a little time visiting when the line was slow. His kindness touched my heart. I decided to take a small gift to him as a way of saying I appreciate his friendly spirit. We finally exchanged names. We have made plans to meet for coffee--surprise--and chat. He is on the front end of his journey. I am on the end of mine yet our spirits touched one another. What joy. I am always pleasantly surprised with the new people who make their way through my life. They bring new ideas and new thoughts. A discussion over a cup of coffee with a new friend. What does it take? Time. That precious commodity we all wish we had more of.
We can give hope to those who are struggling. Those who feel hopeless. We can encourage their efforts toward a better life. We can listen as they share their story. We can withhold judgement. After all, it takes great courage to share from our deepest places. We can send encouraging notes, emails, texts to those who need a little lift. None of these things require one penny. We do not have to rush out to buy a gift. The gift we give is the gift of ourselves. Our time. There it is again. That word. Time. Maybe we should take a little bit of it and rearrange a moment to make way for blessings by being in relationship with others.
Let us not forget the gift of love. That feeling that motivates our every action. That moves us to do extraordinary things. Love is the compass of our lives pointing us always toward doing good in this world. Yes, we live in troubling times. Yes, violence seeks to take away our peace. But let us never forget that love is the greatest thing of all.
There will always be ugly in this world. It has always been that way. I believe we have the ability to bring love into a hurting world. We only have to look around to see all the good that people are doing. Let us celebrate everyday we have. And remember that our celebration of life encourages others.
With so much ugly happening in our world, let us turn our attention to the pretty. Let us give ourselves over to what is good and right and kind. Let us care for one another even when life is on a good course. People need affirmation that what they are accomplishing is worthy. That they are walking in a good way.
Celebration must be present in life everyday. Celebrate that we have one more day to practice care for others. Celebrate that we have choice. Celebrate that we can come together to talk about our differences. Celebrate that we can make decisions about our actions and beliefs.
It is my observation that a smile given is a smile returned. Is that a little thing? An insignificant action? I don't think so. Many of us are walking around in skin that is worried. Or upset. Or fearful. When a stranger offers that smile, we feel part of us relaxing. We return that lovely greeting and walk away feeling better. I realize we cannot know another's battles. But, we can offer what we can to a world that needs care. Making eye contact and smiling as we meet fellow shoppers during this busy season, is a way of offering ourselves. Of moving away from being centered on ourselves. It truly does matter that we do this small, simple thing.
While decorated trees, twinkling lights and gifts occupy a large part of this season, giving to others in need soars. People reach into wallets or their own personal time and offer assistance. They want others to have one day of joy. One day with full tummys. One day when people they do not know offer words of hope and encouragement. The truth of these acts is the givers receive as much or more than than those they help. It is my belief that we do not wish to be uncaring. To refuse to see need. I think we are all so busy with making a living that we forget to make a life. We forget to schedule time to think about the real meaning of life. It is so easy to fall into this habit. Days follow days. Weeks pass. We mean to do this thing for someone in need, but we are just so busy. This is a true statement. How to change from thoughts to actions? Something to ponder.
Recently someone in the car ahead of mine in the drive-thru at Starbucks purchased my drink. That is no small thing. Coffee costs more than a gallon of gas. It made my heart smile, and it made me think about ways I could pay it forward. The person in the car in front of mine probably did not know me. He/she simply offered a bit of sunshine to me. A lovely gesture to a stranger.
And then there is this young man who works at Starbucks. Over time we have become friends. We wave to one another when I go through to pick up my drink. We did not share names. Just spent a little time visiting when the line was slow. His kindness touched my heart. I decided to take a small gift to him as a way of saying I appreciate his friendly spirit. We finally exchanged names. We have made plans to meet for coffee--surprise--and chat. He is on the front end of his journey. I am on the end of mine yet our spirits touched one another. What joy. I am always pleasantly surprised with the new people who make their way through my life. They bring new ideas and new thoughts. A discussion over a cup of coffee with a new friend. What does it take? Time. That precious commodity we all wish we had more of.
We can give hope to those who are struggling. Those who feel hopeless. We can encourage their efforts toward a better life. We can listen as they share their story. We can withhold judgement. After all, it takes great courage to share from our deepest places. We can send encouraging notes, emails, texts to those who need a little lift. None of these things require one penny. We do not have to rush out to buy a gift. The gift we give is the gift of ourselves. Our time. There it is again. That word. Time. Maybe we should take a little bit of it and rearrange a moment to make way for blessings by being in relationship with others.
Let us not forget the gift of love. That feeling that motivates our every action. That moves us to do extraordinary things. Love is the compass of our lives pointing us always toward doing good in this world. Yes, we live in troubling times. Yes, violence seeks to take away our peace. But let us never forget that love is the greatest thing of all.
There will always be ugly in this world. It has always been that way. I believe we have the ability to bring love into a hurting world. We only have to look around to see all the good that people are doing. Let us celebrate everyday we have. And remember that our celebration of life encourages others.
Wednesday, December 9, 2015
When Did It Happen?
When Did It Happen?--
When did it happen? Is it possible to pinpoint the exact moment in time? Perhaps it was gradual. That would explain part of it. A slow movement away from knowledge. From involvement. Not intentional. A passage of life? Moving from one piece of our puzzle to another along our journey.
Each stop along our journey teaches us more about ourselves, and the world we inhabit. Are we aware of others as we journey? Is our time and energy wrapped up in our own place and time? Is it a mixture of the two? How do we define a well lived life?
These questions haunt me. Fear that I have moved far away from what is important and meaningful to me fills my thoughts. It is easy to be involved when you know about need. When you see it daily. At what point did I cease to know about need? Involvement in a career certainly made a huge difference. Constant contact with people brings the opportunity to do for others. Those days were so lovely.
Moving into the stage of life where working is no longer necessary brings with it much goodness. Time to do the new thing. Time to develop interests that were once only dreams. Time to have time. Yet there can be a downside to this stage of the journey. Isolation, removal from being actively involved in life creates a void. The sense of being a useful person in society is diminished.
When did I move from being aware to being unaware? To being involved in helping to taking care of self? When did my world become smaller? I do not like to admit this about myself. It would be much easier to erect a facade to shield myself from the world. This time in life is all about taking care of self, isn't it? After all, I did much during my working years. Yet, that small voice deep inside is beginning to yell. To attempt to get my attention. To assure me that there is good to be done, and I can do it. To get back into the hurry and bustle of life. It is urging me to open myself to new challenges. To step outside this zone of comfort I have erected around my life.
Why is this important to write about? Maybe putting words on this page means I have reached the point of action. Maybe thinking these thoughts out loud for you to read means I am acknowledging my deep need to enter life in a new way. To step out and take a new chance. To know that I do not do this alone. This drive within comes from a divine place. And when that divine place pushes, it is time to move. Even if the direction is unclear.
I welcome your thoughts. I welcome the insight you have. I welcome your presence in my life. For we are part of one another. Part of a plan much greater than we can ever imagine. If you are struggling with your place on the journey, I welcome your words. It is in sharing ourselves honestly and fully that we grow. That we do what we were put here to do.
When did it happen? Slowly. Quietly. Innocently. Recognizing is the first step. Praying and thinking is the second. Asking is third. Listening is next. And action is the last step in reentry.
Where shall this lead? I know not. What I do know is this. My greatest happiness comes in helping others find their way. In giving back to this world. In seeing goodness. In thinking less of me and more of others. This part of the journey has the potental to be the most wonderful yet. I am excited to see where it will lead.
When did it happen? Is it possible to pinpoint the exact moment in time? Perhaps it was gradual. That would explain part of it. A slow movement away from knowledge. From involvement. Not intentional. A passage of life? Moving from one piece of our puzzle to another along our journey.
Each stop along our journey teaches us more about ourselves, and the world we inhabit. Are we aware of others as we journey? Is our time and energy wrapped up in our own place and time? Is it a mixture of the two? How do we define a well lived life?
These questions haunt me. Fear that I have moved far away from what is important and meaningful to me fills my thoughts. It is easy to be involved when you know about need. When you see it daily. At what point did I cease to know about need? Involvement in a career certainly made a huge difference. Constant contact with people brings the opportunity to do for others. Those days were so lovely.
Moving into the stage of life where working is no longer necessary brings with it much goodness. Time to do the new thing. Time to develop interests that were once only dreams. Time to have time. Yet there can be a downside to this stage of the journey. Isolation, removal from being actively involved in life creates a void. The sense of being a useful person in society is diminished.
When did I move from being aware to being unaware? To being involved in helping to taking care of self? When did my world become smaller? I do not like to admit this about myself. It would be much easier to erect a facade to shield myself from the world. This time in life is all about taking care of self, isn't it? After all, I did much during my working years. Yet, that small voice deep inside is beginning to yell. To attempt to get my attention. To assure me that there is good to be done, and I can do it. To get back into the hurry and bustle of life. It is urging me to open myself to new challenges. To step outside this zone of comfort I have erected around my life.
Why is this important to write about? Maybe putting words on this page means I have reached the point of action. Maybe thinking these thoughts out loud for you to read means I am acknowledging my deep need to enter life in a new way. To step out and take a new chance. To know that I do not do this alone. This drive within comes from a divine place. And when that divine place pushes, it is time to move. Even if the direction is unclear.
I welcome your thoughts. I welcome the insight you have. I welcome your presence in my life. For we are part of one another. Part of a plan much greater than we can ever imagine. If you are struggling with your place on the journey, I welcome your words. It is in sharing ourselves honestly and fully that we grow. That we do what we were put here to do.
When did it happen? Slowly. Quietly. Innocently. Recognizing is the first step. Praying and thinking is the second. Asking is third. Listening is next. And action is the last step in reentry.
Where shall this lead? I know not. What I do know is this. My greatest happiness comes in helping others find their way. In giving back to this world. In seeing goodness. In thinking less of me and more of others. This part of the journey has the potental to be the most wonderful yet. I am excited to see where it will lead.
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