Expectations

Expectations--

What are my expectations?  Should I even have any?  Are expectations good?  Are they bad?  Are they neutral?  What if my expectations miss a mark?  Is it possible to go beyond expectations?

Absolutely I have expectations about certain things.  I expect my car to start when I get in it.  I expect my house to be standing when I return from a trip.  I expect my retirement check to arrive in the mail so I can pay those bills that demand payment.  These are only a few of the things I hope and expect to be in place in my life.  If any of these expectations cease, my life will be a little more challenged.  So, yes, there are some expectations that I do have.

There are many things I do not expect.  When I purchase a lottery ticket, I really do not expect my numbers to be the winning ones.  But, boy I can dream!  Owning a second or third home is another expectation I do not have.  Add to that the latest sports car or the biggest diamond.  There is no expectation that I will be the next governor or president.  Being a gourmet cook is another skill that is lacking from my abilities.  This list is very long.

Would I say that having expectations is good or bad?  Some of both.  The thing about expectations is this.  If we set the mark so high that no one can ever reach it, then we are the ones who suffer.  When we have a view of how things should be and are dissappointed when those expectations are not met, we feel let down.  It's almost as if we have a hidden set of rules that we don't share with others.  We keep them deep inside.  Actually, we are playing with a stacked deck.  Since others are not in on our set of expectations, they have no opportunity to even have a discussion with us.  They are in the dark.  In that case, expectations become negative.

They are good when we set our hearts toward our personal goals.  When we want to go to a certain location and set goals toward reaching that expectation, that is a good thing.  Or when we work hard at achieving something personal.  Maybe winning a race or getting that hit to drive the runner on third home for the big win.  Personal goals do not negatively impact others.  They are set for ourselves.  Certainly we can set them too high, but they are always adjustable.  These types of expectations drive us forward to being better for ourselves and others.

What about Christmas?  Are there expectations that are positive?  Negative?  The positive ones include time with family and friends.  Time to celebrate whatever religious tradition we observe.  Time to give a gift to someone we love.  Time to listen to beautiful music prepared especially for this season.  Time to hug people and say Merry Christmas.  Time to embrace the season and let it move us to a place of love and peace.

Negative?  Yes, that is possible.  When we expect certain things or actions, and they do not show up, our feelings are hurt.  We might feel that others don't love us.  Or we see what others have and become aware once again that we don't have those things.   Christmas can be a dreaded season when life has dealt us challenges.  When we feel alone or lonely.  And we all know it is possible to be lonely in a crowd of people.  Or when we want to give a gift but lack the funds to do so.  Especially during this season it is easy to slip into despair.  Why can't our lives be like all the others we are observing?

This is what I think.  Let go of expectations.  Learn to love others for who they are.  Not for what we think they want.  Enjoy diverse personalities.  Welcome unique ways of doing things.  Laugh more.  Smile more.  Be delighted when those unexpected things occur.  They are truly gifts.  Give people a little space.  Allow them to live their life without judgment.  Simply welcome all.  We don't have to be alike to have fun together.  We don't have to believe the exact same things to share moments.  The less we expect the happier we will be.  You see, when we set expectations of others, we are making it all about us.  We need to think about that a bit.  Mull it over in our minds.

Life is short.  Let's concentrate on the joy others bring into our lives.  Let's celebrate the fact that we have the opportunity to share moments on this planet.  Let's find the absolute good.

Back off expectations.  Move toward love.