When Did It Happen?

When Did It Happen?--

When did it happen?  Is it possible to pinpoint the exact moment in time?  Perhaps it was gradual.  That would explain part of it.  A slow movement away from knowledge.  From involvement.  Not intentional.   A passage of life?  Moving from one piece of our puzzle to another along our journey.

Each stop along our journey teaches us more about ourselves, and the world we inhabit.  Are we aware of others as we journey?  Is our time and energy wrapped up in our own place and time?  Is it a mixture of the two?  How do we define a well lived life?

These questions haunt me.  Fear that I have moved far away from what is important and meaningful to me fills my thoughts.  It is easy to be involved when you know about need.  When you see it daily.  At what point did I cease to know about need?   Involvement in a career certainly made a huge difference. Constant contact with people brings the opportunity to do for others.  Those days were so lovely.

Moving into the stage of life where working is no longer necessary brings with it much goodness.  Time to do the new thing.  Time to develop interests that were once only dreams.  Time to have time.  Yet there can be a downside to this stage of the journey.  Isolation, removal from being actively involved in life creates a void.  The sense of being a useful person in society is diminished.

When did I move from being aware to being unaware?  To being involved in helping to taking care of self?  When did my world become smaller?  I do not like to admit this about myself.  It would be much easier to erect a facade to shield myself from the world.  This time in life is all about taking care of self, isn't it?  After all, I did much during my working years.  Yet, that small voice deep inside is beginning to yell.  To attempt to get my attention.  To assure me that there is good to be done, and I can do it.  To get back into the hurry and bustle of life. It is urging me to open myself to new challenges.  To step outside this zone of comfort I have erected around my life.

Why is this important to write about?  Maybe putting words on this page means I have reached the point of action.  Maybe thinking these thoughts out loud for you to read means I am acknowledging my deep need to enter life in a new way.  To step out and take a new chance.  To know that I do not do this alone.  This drive within comes from a divine place.  And when that divine place pushes, it is time to move.  Even if the direction is unclear.

I welcome your thoughts.  I welcome the insight you have.  I welcome your presence in my life.  For we are part of one another.   Part of a plan much greater than we can ever imagine.  If you are struggling with your place on the journey, I welcome your words.   It is in sharing ourselves honestly and fully that we grow.  That we do what we were put here to do.

When did it happen?  Slowly.  Quietly.  Innocently.  Recognizing is the first step.  Praying and thinking is the second.  Asking is third.  Listening is next.  And action is the last step in reentry.

Where shall this lead?  I know not.  What I do know is this.  My greatest happiness comes in helping others find their way.  In giving back to this world.  In seeing goodness.  In thinking less of me and more of others.  This part of the journey has the potental to be the most wonderful yet.  I am excited to see where it will lead.