An Amazing Moment--
Amazing moments arrive unannounced. They simply appear. Out of nowhere. Often in the most unlikely places. Having an open spirit to recognize them is necessary or else they will pass by as quickly as they arrived.
Golf courses are beautiful places. Beautifully groomed. Water, trees, long expanses of mowed grass. The perfect place to think. To meditate. To be grateful. Those playing the courses with heavy bags full of golf stuff hanging on their backs probably have another view. They see the fairways, the greens, the hazards. They see handicaps and par. Guess it all depends on the cart or the walk.
While my grandson was walking and planning his next move on the course, I was driving a golf cart. I was the water girl. The encourager. The Snicker candy bar lady. It was all great fun. And during that ride around the course, I had one of those amazing moments in time.
A father was doing the same as I. Riding along as his son walked and played the course. We introduced ourselves and began our 18 hole journey. Around the third hole our conversation took a turn I would never have expected. Most conversation at sporting events center around the players and the game itself. This conversation became deep and wonderful.
Around that third hole the father asked me what advice or suggestions I would give him for the rest of his life. He is in his early 50's. Very successful businessman. However, I could tell there was a searching in his life. He wanted to make sure he did this life right. Didn't miss out on the important things in the hurry to make a living. My comments included slowing down, being grateful, developing a gracious attitude toward life and others, practing grace at all times. Seeing the flowers in ditch banks instead of the cement that stretches out before us as we travel highways. Stuff like that.
He was very thoughtful as we spoke about life being short. At one point he quoted scripture. Book, chapter, verse. Of course, I asked if he was a minister. He replied no, but that he was giving serious thought to selling his business and joining ministry. I could see him in that role, that calling. He had a gentle spirit that brought others into conversation.
And from that moment we began a discussion that lasted the rest of the 18 holes. Between shots we discussed parables. Were they literal? Did they actually happen? He asked me what I thought. I replied that parables are stories meant to teach or drive home a point. That I didn't think it was important whether they actually happened or not. What was important was the lessons they teach. And that every person hearing them will get what they need from them. They might have happened or they might not. That really wasn't the point. I knew he had a more literal view of the Bible yet we both were interested in what the other had to say.
We talked about Adam and Eve. Did I believe they were real people? What about heaven and hell? Deep questions one would not expect to address as the players addressed the ball. I asked him what he believed on many of the things we discussed. And like me, there were times when answers were not easy. A few times I had to say that I didn't know. Hadn't formed a thought about a particular question we were discussing. What about Noah and the flood? Was Jesus God? Did Jesus die for sins of the people?
The beautiful thing about this day was our willingness to share our thoughts and beliefs. No criticism of the other. I was aware that we were very far apart in our beliefs. Yet, we were able to share from our own experiences. Toward the end of our 18 hole journey, I asked him if he believed that everything happens for a purpose. He answered yes. So, I asked what the purpose of our meeting was. What did it mean to him? As with other questions posed during the few hours, he was quiet for a bit. Then he said he didn't know. What did I think was the purpose? So we had a little talk about that.
When our time was over, I thanked him for a wonderful discussion. I told him it was not often that strangers meet and immediately delve into the deeper things in life. How much I enjoyed our conversation. And that I hoped whatever he decided, he would know in his heart that it was the right place for him. I put out my hand to shake his. He walked to me and gave me a hug instead. It was a special moment. I am fairly sure our paths won't cross again.
How grateful I am that I was listening closely to his first question. That first question took us on a path of sharing that does not often occur. I am thankful that we smiled and laughed and shook our heads at one another over answers that were not our own. There was no pointing out faults because our beliefs were not exactly the same. Instead there was a coming together with the same belief that all people are precious. That when we see need, it is our duty and responsibilty to reach beyond ourselves and offer help. That the world needs a huge dose of grace.
Amazing moments do happen. They are doors we can look through, or openings we can walk through. Walking through them means we open ourselves to whatever is on the other side. Of course we don't want to walk through all doors, but when one that has the potential to open us to new thoughts appear, why not race through? Why not put fear aside? Why not listen with a caring ear? Why not give ourselves the opportunity to say aloud to another traveler what we believe?
I was blessed by this man and his conversation. We are both travelers moving through life trying to make sense of it all. We are both aware that we are learners. Neither of us have the key to life. Neither of us have all the answers. But, we shared the important questions of life. On a golf course. On a summer day. A moment in time.
Saturday, July 25, 2015
Tuesday, July 21, 2015
Our Story
Our Story--
We must see more than our own story. Those words were spoken by our pastor Sunday morning. See more than our story. Hearing those words made me pause and think. Actually, they forced me to reflect on my own life. On my way of looking at the world and the people in it.
My story has many chapters. Growing up on a farm in Arkansas, college, marrying the guy on the neighboring farm, moving, moving, moving. Having a son. Continuing my career in several states. Watching our son grow up and move on through college and law school. Being joyful when he found the person to spend his life with. Grandchildren. Lovely, sweet, spirited, normal kids.
Of course there is much more to the story. My life has many sides. So does yours. All those sides make us who we are. Some of it good. Some of it better. A little worse. And some delightful. As long as we are alive, we add new chapters to our story.
Is it possible that we make a judgment on others due to the one story we know about them? Absolutely. It takes a little time and energy to delve into another person's story. We have to listen. Maybe ask a few non threatening questions. Show genuine interest in learning what makes them tick. So much easier to see that one side. So less work. But, we do ourselves such an injustice when we make an assumption and then move on. We never gain insight into the real person. We only see that one side that everyone else sees.
Certainly our story includes our families and career. But, more than that, I think this is about investing energy in knowing others. Realizing that everyone has multiple layers. Some folks hold their true story close to their heart. There is no need or want to share. At least to every person who comes into view. Trust must first be established before we divulge our true story. Often we do that deep sharing with one or two. We are careful and cautious about our lives. That is a very good thing. Not everyone is trustworthy. As we spend time with another person, we learn who they are especially if they share a bit more deeply from their own story.
As we come to know another planet walker, we see the depth of their lives. We are allowed to see their joys and sorrows. We are privileged to hear about their failures and disappointments. And we feel a little less fearful about sharing our own warts. We have a knowledge down deep within our soul that this person is a gift given to us. A gift that we must treasure.
When we are out doing what we do and meeting people, realize that they have multiple stories. They are layers of experiences and beliefs. Give a little slack to those who annoy. Perhaps they have reason to be cranky. We are all a little cranky at times. Understand that we are seeing one side of their life. One piece of their puzzle. And they are seeing the same in us.
We get to write our own story. Everyday. Every minute. When my story seems frivilous, I have the power to move toward more meaning. So do you. When our time is over on this planet, our story will remain. In fact, it is all that will remain. What do we want our story to be?
I think I have a little work to do! Want to make the sides of my story full of meaning and fun. How about you?
We must see more than our own story. Those words were spoken by our pastor Sunday morning. See more than our story. Hearing those words made me pause and think. Actually, they forced me to reflect on my own life. On my way of looking at the world and the people in it.
My story has many chapters. Growing up on a farm in Arkansas, college, marrying the guy on the neighboring farm, moving, moving, moving. Having a son. Continuing my career in several states. Watching our son grow up and move on through college and law school. Being joyful when he found the person to spend his life with. Grandchildren. Lovely, sweet, spirited, normal kids.
Of course there is much more to the story. My life has many sides. So does yours. All those sides make us who we are. Some of it good. Some of it better. A little worse. And some delightful. As long as we are alive, we add new chapters to our story.
Is it possible that we make a judgment on others due to the one story we know about them? Absolutely. It takes a little time and energy to delve into another person's story. We have to listen. Maybe ask a few non threatening questions. Show genuine interest in learning what makes them tick. So much easier to see that one side. So less work. But, we do ourselves such an injustice when we make an assumption and then move on. We never gain insight into the real person. We only see that one side that everyone else sees.
Certainly our story includes our families and career. But, more than that, I think this is about investing energy in knowing others. Realizing that everyone has multiple layers. Some folks hold their true story close to their heart. There is no need or want to share. At least to every person who comes into view. Trust must first be established before we divulge our true story. Often we do that deep sharing with one or two. We are careful and cautious about our lives. That is a very good thing. Not everyone is trustworthy. As we spend time with another person, we learn who they are especially if they share a bit more deeply from their own story.
As we come to know another planet walker, we see the depth of their lives. We are allowed to see their joys and sorrows. We are privileged to hear about their failures and disappointments. And we feel a little less fearful about sharing our own warts. We have a knowledge down deep within our soul that this person is a gift given to us. A gift that we must treasure.
When we are out doing what we do and meeting people, realize that they have multiple stories. They are layers of experiences and beliefs. Give a little slack to those who annoy. Perhaps they have reason to be cranky. We are all a little cranky at times. Understand that we are seeing one side of their life. One piece of their puzzle. And they are seeing the same in us.
We get to write our own story. Everyday. Every minute. When my story seems frivilous, I have the power to move toward more meaning. So do you. When our time is over on this planet, our story will remain. In fact, it is all that will remain. What do we want our story to be?
I think I have a little work to do! Want to make the sides of my story full of meaning and fun. How about you?
Tuesday, July 7, 2015
Toxic. Really?
Toxic. Really?
Toxic. The pet word of today. The word used to describe so many things. Water, air, relationships. So much more.
The elements that give us life and keep us living must be free from toxic chemicals. Free from any contamination that has the power to destroy people, animals, plants. Our eco system depends on a healthy environment to sustain life. It took years and years for people to realize or admit that we must tend to our earth just as we tend to everything else in our world. In certain instances, we waited too late. Those tree hugging hippies did us all a favor by refusing to give in to powerful companies. Only takes a few people with a deep sense of right and wrong to make a difference and change the world.
Toxic seems to be the word some people love to use on social media. When I read that word, I wonder what has happened to those who have written it. Usually it is written in reference to people. My guess is it is written about people who don't agree with the writer. Or who might have a difference of opinion. I certainly agree that we need to walk away from those whose purpose is to pull us down. However, it has been my experience that there are only a few who fit that category.
Whatever happened to friendly discussion? Are we so right that we are afraid that someone with a different opinion might contaminate us? Can we not see another point of view? Is the way we believe the way it truly is? Do we hide within our little group of like-minded people and refuse to see anything that doesn't fit into that box we have built? Is it essential that everyone have the same values and beliefs and actions that we have? Or can we see value in discussion? Can we allow ourselves to think outside the tiny box that we hold close? What might happen if we opened the door to that box and walked among the rest of the world? It is so easy to stay within our own system of belief. So easy to say the right words. So easy to do the acts of kindness. So easy to care for others. Yet, I wonder down deep within our souls who we really are. Do we see ourselves in truth, or do we see what we want to see?
I have learned that there are only a few who want to take part in serious discussion about their beliefs. What are we afraid of? Are we afraid that if others learn what we think, they will think we are strange? How safe we live. We look alike, sound alike, talk alike. Anyone who isn't like us--well, we can be friendly and kind.
Toxic is a serious word. If people understood it was being used about them, it would be too hurtful to digest. Who has the right to label another with that word? Just because there are differences of opinion does not mean that a person is--that word. It means there is disagreement. It means there are different values. It might mean one person sits in judgement of others. I don't like that word being used against people. I think it would be better to simply sit down and visit with anyone whose relationship is going south. End it with kindness. At least from your side of the situation. Labeling those who are different from us is very serious business.
If saying that I wonder if we are an experiment placed here to work out challenges and see what good we can do is toxic, then so be it. I don't know why we are here. When I think about this earth, this tiny earth, spinning around in space, my mind cannot take it in. The more we know about all of this, the more wonderful it is. And I wonder why we were placed here. How we were placed here. What we are to learn? What we are to do? We are so small. Yet within our small being is the power to do so much good. Why do we waste our time worrying about one person who might not be our best friend? Who might bring something we find offensive to our world? Is it really that important? If we were placed here to see what we could do and become, are we succeeding? Thinking about life from a different point of view does not mean I am a toxic person. It simply means, to me, that I think about many things and don't accept a simple answer. Sometimes. Often.
Yes, there are people who have evil as their purpose. Their life. They fail to recognize the wonder of it all. They are part of a system that I don't understand. When I see the world, I see precious people. People who simply want to have the opportunity to live and be at peace. We can be different yet get along. We don't have to hurt one another. Yet we do. Now, those are the toxic people. Those whose main objective is to kill and hurt as many as possible. Those who believe their way is the only way. Those are mean spirited people. Those are get even people.
So, perhaps we might rethink that ugly word. That word that is used to describe oil spills and factories spewing poison into the air. It is used to discuss the bug and plant killing chemicals we spray on plants. It is a killer of life. Human, animal, plant. It is serious business. We legislate against many things that are toxic. We impose fines. We try to control that which hurts this space.
Just because we are different from others does not mean we are toxic. If my church is not the same as yours, that doesn't mean either is toxic. It simply means that we have chosen to accept the beliefs of the one we attend. Even then it is possible to disagree within that structure. To my mind it becomes toxic when there is no tolerance or love for others. Especially those who are outside our own group. Often we believe we are different from our chosen group. Maybe a little more enlightened. A little more tolerant. I wonder.
Ok. I am finished with toxic. It is a word I hardly ever use. I never use it in relationship to other folks. I value the fact that others live on this space with me. We may not agree. We may not even like one another, but I am not the judge of them. It is not my place to hide behind words written in social media and put others in their place. It simply is not my right. It is my right and duty to do good and help others while I have breath. To encourage others. Not just those who are like me. But those who are very different from me. After all, I am only a tiny speck on a very small ball revolving in a huge space.
Done.
Toxic. The pet word of today. The word used to describe so many things. Water, air, relationships. So much more.
The elements that give us life and keep us living must be free from toxic chemicals. Free from any contamination that has the power to destroy people, animals, plants. Our eco system depends on a healthy environment to sustain life. It took years and years for people to realize or admit that we must tend to our earth just as we tend to everything else in our world. In certain instances, we waited too late. Those tree hugging hippies did us all a favor by refusing to give in to powerful companies. Only takes a few people with a deep sense of right and wrong to make a difference and change the world.
Toxic seems to be the word some people love to use on social media. When I read that word, I wonder what has happened to those who have written it. Usually it is written in reference to people. My guess is it is written about people who don't agree with the writer. Or who might have a difference of opinion. I certainly agree that we need to walk away from those whose purpose is to pull us down. However, it has been my experience that there are only a few who fit that category.
Whatever happened to friendly discussion? Are we so right that we are afraid that someone with a different opinion might contaminate us? Can we not see another point of view? Is the way we believe the way it truly is? Do we hide within our little group of like-minded people and refuse to see anything that doesn't fit into that box we have built? Is it essential that everyone have the same values and beliefs and actions that we have? Or can we see value in discussion? Can we allow ourselves to think outside the tiny box that we hold close? What might happen if we opened the door to that box and walked among the rest of the world? It is so easy to stay within our own system of belief. So easy to say the right words. So easy to do the acts of kindness. So easy to care for others. Yet, I wonder down deep within our souls who we really are. Do we see ourselves in truth, or do we see what we want to see?
I have learned that there are only a few who want to take part in serious discussion about their beliefs. What are we afraid of? Are we afraid that if others learn what we think, they will think we are strange? How safe we live. We look alike, sound alike, talk alike. Anyone who isn't like us--well, we can be friendly and kind.
Toxic is a serious word. If people understood it was being used about them, it would be too hurtful to digest. Who has the right to label another with that word? Just because there are differences of opinion does not mean that a person is--that word. It means there is disagreement. It means there are different values. It might mean one person sits in judgement of others. I don't like that word being used against people. I think it would be better to simply sit down and visit with anyone whose relationship is going south. End it with kindness. At least from your side of the situation. Labeling those who are different from us is very serious business.
If saying that I wonder if we are an experiment placed here to work out challenges and see what good we can do is toxic, then so be it. I don't know why we are here. When I think about this earth, this tiny earth, spinning around in space, my mind cannot take it in. The more we know about all of this, the more wonderful it is. And I wonder why we were placed here. How we were placed here. What we are to learn? What we are to do? We are so small. Yet within our small being is the power to do so much good. Why do we waste our time worrying about one person who might not be our best friend? Who might bring something we find offensive to our world? Is it really that important? If we were placed here to see what we could do and become, are we succeeding? Thinking about life from a different point of view does not mean I am a toxic person. It simply means, to me, that I think about many things and don't accept a simple answer. Sometimes. Often.
Yes, there are people who have evil as their purpose. Their life. They fail to recognize the wonder of it all. They are part of a system that I don't understand. When I see the world, I see precious people. People who simply want to have the opportunity to live and be at peace. We can be different yet get along. We don't have to hurt one another. Yet we do. Now, those are the toxic people. Those whose main objective is to kill and hurt as many as possible. Those who believe their way is the only way. Those are mean spirited people. Those are get even people.
So, perhaps we might rethink that ugly word. That word that is used to describe oil spills and factories spewing poison into the air. It is used to discuss the bug and plant killing chemicals we spray on plants. It is a killer of life. Human, animal, plant. It is serious business. We legislate against many things that are toxic. We impose fines. We try to control that which hurts this space.
Just because we are different from others does not mean we are toxic. If my church is not the same as yours, that doesn't mean either is toxic. It simply means that we have chosen to accept the beliefs of the one we attend. Even then it is possible to disagree within that structure. To my mind it becomes toxic when there is no tolerance or love for others. Especially those who are outside our own group. Often we believe we are different from our chosen group. Maybe a little more enlightened. A little more tolerant. I wonder.
Ok. I am finished with toxic. It is a word I hardly ever use. I never use it in relationship to other folks. I value the fact that others live on this space with me. We may not agree. We may not even like one another, but I am not the judge of them. It is not my place to hide behind words written in social media and put others in their place. It simply is not my right. It is my right and duty to do good and help others while I have breath. To encourage others. Not just those who are like me. But those who are very different from me. After all, I am only a tiny speck on a very small ball revolving in a huge space.
Done.
Monday, July 6, 2015
What Drives You?
What Drives You?
What drives each of us? What one thing or combination of things drive us? A question worth examining. Deserves a second look.
Fear. Fear has the power to drive us. Fear puts our defenses up. When we feel threatened, we feel fear. Fear that someone or something will override us. Feeling threatened causes us to behave in ways we would not ordinarily behave. We might pull in to protect ourselves. We might become agitated. Fear plays out in numerous ways in our lives. If you have experienced fear, then you know what words apply for you. You understand what happened at that exact moment you felt fear. A rapid heart beat, apprehension. Fear can certainly be a very good thing. We don't want to walk into situations that present immediate danger. Like walking into a lion's cage. Extreme, right? I think you know what I am saying. We have all turned and walked away when fear showed itself. Living with a fear that drives us--something to think about. It is a hiding place.
Anger. Our best friend. The one that stands up for us. That causes our blood to stir. That allows us to bully our way through situations and people. Anger takes on many faces. It may appear in hurtful, hateful words. It can cause us to strike out at others. We might hit something or someone. Our blood pressure certainly rises. In times of extreme anger it is possible that we don't hear anyone but ourselves. We are so sure we are in the right, and someone else or some situation is wrong. Thinking flies out the window. We behave on raw emotion. Doors slam. Faces become distorted. Voices rise. Accusations are flung out into the air. Not one thought is given to the other person or situation. This is lash out time. And boy, is it fun. I would much rather yell about how I have been wronged than give a thought to my part in the entire situation. Anger becomes a defense mechanism. We are justified in feeling anger.
Anger has a positive side as well. It moves us to action when action is necessary. Anger sees a system that allows children to be hungry while corporations become richer. Anger has the power to move us to seek ways to combat injustice to children. They are helpless in a world full of people who have more than is needed to live a full life. Moving people off their ground zero into seeing truth can cause anger. But, it is righteous anger. It is anger for a right purpose. It isn't aimed at a person who didn't do something we wanted at the exact moment we wanted it. It is anger that makes this world a better place for others with great need. Being civil is the way to move others most of the time. But there are times when anger has its place.
Hate. Such a hard, ugly word. At least for me. Hate has the power to consume. To take total control over our thoughts, emotions and behaviors. It allows for no discussion. It sees everything through one set of eyes. Hate overrides our entire being. From where I sit, this is a part of us that needs to be examined and controlled. When I happen to be in the presence of hate, I try to exit immediately. However, it is a word we throw around. We hate peas. We hate hot weather. We hate rain. We hate a neighbor. We hate our President. We hate, hate, hate. It could be that we use this word to mean dislike. I certainly hope so. It is possible that people who use hate in their sentences have no idea that they are being judged by those words. They are usually negative. If there is a down side to anything, they are all over it. It is easy to become a hateful person. Life is certainly not fair. Situations arise in all lives when fair treatment is extended to others but not us. We feel the sting of rejection. We are overlooked for that promotion. Someone we don't like was awarded the better paying job. Teachers pick on our person. And it goes on and on. Yes, hate is easy. Forgiving and moving on makes for a healthier, more enjoyable life. The choice is ours--a difficult one.
Disgust. Write your own thoughts.
Love. Much more than a word. An action. A verb. Our culture throws this word around so much that it is difficult to grasp the real meaning. Love has many uses. We love so much in this world. A gentle breeze on a hot day. Ice cream. That new outfit that makes us look amazing. A trip to a new place. I love that we love so many things. Loving things is not bad. It only becomes a negative when things are more important than those who live in our space. Love means saying you are sorry for an action or words that hurt another. Love means walking that extra mile or two to be of assistance to someone in need whether you know them or not. Love wraps its arms around hurting folks bringing comfort and care. Love smiles and laughs. It refuses to wear a chip that begs to be knocked off that shoulder. It puts itself out there knowing hurt may come. Misunderstanding may arise. It knows that communication is the key to righting wrongs. And lack of communication ends relationships. Love gives others that last word we all so desperately want. What real difference does it make who says those last ugly words, anyway?
Love does not allow itself to be walked over. I think it is called tough love. That phrase means that even when we love someone, we will do what is necessary to move them to a better place in their lives. We might refuse to do what they ask or demand. We might take an action that seems terrible to those who do not understand. We might bring an intervention hoping to move someone forward in their lives. We might end a hurtful relationship. Loving does not mean everything will be rosy. It means we will rejoice in those moments that are beautiful and refuse to be drawn into someone else's beliefs if those are not our own. Yes, we will probably be accused of not loving when we take a stand that is difficult for others. We know the truth. We are loving from the deepest part of our being.
There are so many more emotions that I could list. You would become fatigued from reading. The point is something drives each of us. We live with that one thing or combination of things that move us to be who we are. Realizing the force that moves us helps us rethink. Do we really want to be driven by something that is not the best? Takes work. Lots of work. Might even take changing our minds. Oh no! Not that. We have held onto those emotions our entire life. What might happen if we try to move toward being a healthier person? Will others reject our effort? Do we care?
Each day we are driven by something we hardly recognize anymore. We don't name it. It is simply who we are, we say. Or is it?
What drives each of us? What one thing or combination of things drive us? A question worth examining. Deserves a second look.
Fear. Fear has the power to drive us. Fear puts our defenses up. When we feel threatened, we feel fear. Fear that someone or something will override us. Feeling threatened causes us to behave in ways we would not ordinarily behave. We might pull in to protect ourselves. We might become agitated. Fear plays out in numerous ways in our lives. If you have experienced fear, then you know what words apply for you. You understand what happened at that exact moment you felt fear. A rapid heart beat, apprehension. Fear can certainly be a very good thing. We don't want to walk into situations that present immediate danger. Like walking into a lion's cage. Extreme, right? I think you know what I am saying. We have all turned and walked away when fear showed itself. Living with a fear that drives us--something to think about. It is a hiding place.
Anger. Our best friend. The one that stands up for us. That causes our blood to stir. That allows us to bully our way through situations and people. Anger takes on many faces. It may appear in hurtful, hateful words. It can cause us to strike out at others. We might hit something or someone. Our blood pressure certainly rises. In times of extreme anger it is possible that we don't hear anyone but ourselves. We are so sure we are in the right, and someone else or some situation is wrong. Thinking flies out the window. We behave on raw emotion. Doors slam. Faces become distorted. Voices rise. Accusations are flung out into the air. Not one thought is given to the other person or situation. This is lash out time. And boy, is it fun. I would much rather yell about how I have been wronged than give a thought to my part in the entire situation. Anger becomes a defense mechanism. We are justified in feeling anger.
Anger has a positive side as well. It moves us to action when action is necessary. Anger sees a system that allows children to be hungry while corporations become richer. Anger has the power to move us to seek ways to combat injustice to children. They are helpless in a world full of people who have more than is needed to live a full life. Moving people off their ground zero into seeing truth can cause anger. But, it is righteous anger. It is anger for a right purpose. It isn't aimed at a person who didn't do something we wanted at the exact moment we wanted it. It is anger that makes this world a better place for others with great need. Being civil is the way to move others most of the time. But there are times when anger has its place.
Hate. Such a hard, ugly word. At least for me. Hate has the power to consume. To take total control over our thoughts, emotions and behaviors. It allows for no discussion. It sees everything through one set of eyes. Hate overrides our entire being. From where I sit, this is a part of us that needs to be examined and controlled. When I happen to be in the presence of hate, I try to exit immediately. However, it is a word we throw around. We hate peas. We hate hot weather. We hate rain. We hate a neighbor. We hate our President. We hate, hate, hate. It could be that we use this word to mean dislike. I certainly hope so. It is possible that people who use hate in their sentences have no idea that they are being judged by those words. They are usually negative. If there is a down side to anything, they are all over it. It is easy to become a hateful person. Life is certainly not fair. Situations arise in all lives when fair treatment is extended to others but not us. We feel the sting of rejection. We are overlooked for that promotion. Someone we don't like was awarded the better paying job. Teachers pick on our person. And it goes on and on. Yes, hate is easy. Forgiving and moving on makes for a healthier, more enjoyable life. The choice is ours--a difficult one.
Disgust. Write your own thoughts.
Love. Much more than a word. An action. A verb. Our culture throws this word around so much that it is difficult to grasp the real meaning. Love has many uses. We love so much in this world. A gentle breeze on a hot day. Ice cream. That new outfit that makes us look amazing. A trip to a new place. I love that we love so many things. Loving things is not bad. It only becomes a negative when things are more important than those who live in our space. Love means saying you are sorry for an action or words that hurt another. Love means walking that extra mile or two to be of assistance to someone in need whether you know them or not. Love wraps its arms around hurting folks bringing comfort and care. Love smiles and laughs. It refuses to wear a chip that begs to be knocked off that shoulder. It puts itself out there knowing hurt may come. Misunderstanding may arise. It knows that communication is the key to righting wrongs. And lack of communication ends relationships. Love gives others that last word we all so desperately want. What real difference does it make who says those last ugly words, anyway?
Love does not allow itself to be walked over. I think it is called tough love. That phrase means that even when we love someone, we will do what is necessary to move them to a better place in their lives. We might refuse to do what they ask or demand. We might take an action that seems terrible to those who do not understand. We might bring an intervention hoping to move someone forward in their lives. We might end a hurtful relationship. Loving does not mean everything will be rosy. It means we will rejoice in those moments that are beautiful and refuse to be drawn into someone else's beliefs if those are not our own. Yes, we will probably be accused of not loving when we take a stand that is difficult for others. We know the truth. We are loving from the deepest part of our being.
There are so many more emotions that I could list. You would become fatigued from reading. The point is something drives each of us. We live with that one thing or combination of things that move us to be who we are. Realizing the force that moves us helps us rethink. Do we really want to be driven by something that is not the best? Takes work. Lots of work. Might even take changing our minds. Oh no! Not that. We have held onto those emotions our entire life. What might happen if we try to move toward being a healthier person? Will others reject our effort? Do we care?
Each day we are driven by something we hardly recognize anymore. We don't name it. It is simply who we are, we say. Or is it?
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