What Drives You?

What Drives You?

What drives each of us?  What one thing or combination of things drive us?  A question worth examining.  Deserves a second look.

Fear.  Fear has the power to drive us.  Fear puts our defenses up.  When we feel threatened, we feel fear.  Fear that someone or something will override us.  Feeling threatened causes us to behave in ways we would not ordinarily behave.  We might pull in to protect ourselves.  We might become agitated.  Fear plays out in numerous ways in our lives.  If you have experienced fear, then you know what words apply for you.  You understand what happened at that exact moment you felt fear.  A rapid heart beat, apprehension.  Fear can certainly be a very good thing.  We don't want to walk into situations that present immediate danger.  Like walking into a lion's cage.  Extreme, right?  I think you know what I am saying.  We have all turned and walked away when fear showed itself.  Living with a fear that drives us--something to think about.  It is a hiding place.

Anger.  Our best friend.  The one that stands up for us. That causes our blood to stir. That allows us to bully our way through situations and people.  Anger takes on many faces.  It may appear in hurtful, hateful words.  It can cause us to strike out at others.  We might hit something or someone.  Our blood pressure certainly rises.  In times of extreme anger it is possible that we don't hear anyone but ourselves.  We are so sure we are in the right, and someone else or some situation is wrong.  Thinking flies out the window.  We behave on raw emotion.  Doors slam.  Faces become distorted.  Voices rise.  Accusations are flung out into the air.  Not one thought is given to the other person or situation.  This is lash out time.  And boy, is it fun.  I would much rather yell about how I have been wronged than give a thought to my part in the entire situation.  Anger becomes a defense mechanism.  We are justified in feeling anger.

Anger has a positive side as well.  It moves us to action when action is necessary.  Anger sees a system that allows children to be hungry while corporations become richer.  Anger has the power to move us to seek ways to combat injustice to children. They are helpless in a world full of people who have more than is needed to live a full life.  Moving people off their ground zero into seeing truth can cause anger.  But, it is righteous anger.  It is anger for a right purpose.  It isn't aimed at a person who didn't do something we wanted at the exact moment we wanted it.  It is anger that makes this world a better place for others with great need.  Being civil is the way to move others most of the time.  But there are times when anger has its place.

Hate.  Such a hard, ugly word.  At least for me.  Hate has the power to consume.  To take total control over our thoughts, emotions and behaviors.  It allows for no discussion.  It sees everything through one set of eyes.  Hate overrides our entire being.  From where I sit, this is a part of us that needs to be examined and controlled.  When I happen to be in the presence of hate, I try to exit immediately.  However, it is a word we throw around.  We hate peas.  We hate hot weather. We hate rain. We hate a neighbor. We hate our President. We hate, hate, hate.  It could be that we use this word to mean dislike.  I certainly hope so. It is possible that people who use hate in their sentences have no idea that they are being judged by those words.  They are usually negative.  If there is a down side to anything, they are all over it.  It is easy to become a hateful person.  Life is certainly not fair.  Situations arise in all lives when fair treatment is extended to others but not us.  We feel the sting of rejection.  We are overlooked for that promotion.  Someone we don't like was awarded the better paying job.  Teachers pick on our person.  And it goes on and on.  Yes, hate is easy.  Forgiving and moving on makes for a healthier, more enjoyable life.  The choice is ours--a difficult one.

Disgust.  Write your own thoughts.

Love.  Much more than a word.  An action.  A verb.  Our culture throws this word around so much that it is difficult to grasp the real meaning.  Love has many uses.  We love so much in this world.  A gentle breeze on a hot day.  Ice cream.  That new outfit that makes us look amazing.  A trip to a new place.  I love that we love so many things.  Loving things is not bad.  It only becomes a negative when things are more important than those who live in our space.  Love means saying you are sorry for an action or words that hurt another.  Love means walking that extra mile or two to be of assistance to someone in need whether you know them or not.  Love wraps its arms around hurting folks bringing comfort and care.  Love smiles and laughs.  It refuses to wear a chip that begs to be knocked off that shoulder.  It puts itself out there knowing hurt may come.  Misunderstanding may arise.  It knows that communication is the key to righting wrongs.  And lack of communication ends relationships.  Love gives others that last word we all so desperately want.  What real difference does it make who says those last ugly words, anyway?

Love does not allow itself to be walked over.  I think it is called tough love.  That phrase means that even when we love someone, we will do what is necessary to move them to a better place in their lives.  We might refuse to do what they ask or demand. We might take an action that seems terrible to those who do not understand.  We might bring an intervention hoping to move someone forward in their lives.  We might end a hurtful relationship.  Loving does not mean everything will be rosy.  It means we will rejoice in those moments that are beautiful and refuse to be drawn into someone else's beliefs if those are not our own.  Yes, we will probably be accused of not loving when we take a stand that is difficult for others.  We know the truth. We are loving from the deepest part of our being.

There are so many more emotions that I could list.  You would become fatigued from reading.  The point is something drives each of us.  We live with that one thing or combination of things that move us to be who we are.  Realizing the force that moves us helps us rethink.  Do we really want to be driven by something that is not the best?  Takes work.  Lots of work.  Might even take changing our minds.  Oh no!  Not that.  We have held onto those emotions our entire life.  What might happen if we try to move toward being a healthier person?  Will others reject our effort?  Do we care?

Each day we are driven by something we hardly recognize anymore.  We don't name it.  It is simply who we are, we say.  Or is it?