With Fear and Trembling-
There are many frightening moments in life. Moments that immobolize us. That stop us in our tracks.
Moments that cause us to put off that which must happen. That which is as important as that next breath. Eventually, we conquer our fear and slither off to that place of dread. We quietly open the door and peek inside taking in all the elements of the room. The paint color, the arrangement of furniture, the "feel" of the space. We observe other people. We keep our guard up as we have no idea what the outcome will be.
Yep! We are meeting a new hairdresser for the first time.
Nothing causes the stomach to churn more than leaving the trusted one who keeps our hair looking its best. It is a painful experience to say goodbye to that person who knows our hair. Who knows us. Who understands that we like a certain look. Who has perfected that look and executes it everytime we visit their salon. This person knows our deepest secrets. Knows our joys and sorrows. Knows our dreams. And we know theirs. We share on an intimate level all of life. And then one of us moves. Panic floods us. Who can we turn to? Who can we trust?
This morning I visited a salon in a new city for the first time. When I phoned for an appointment, I was asked who I preferred. Well, she is over two-thousand miles away. I replied that anyone in the salon would be fine. I was given to Shelby. Was Shelby young or old? Was she new at hair cuts or a veteran? Did she understand how to work with fine hair? Hair grows. That is such a comfort. No matter what I walked out with, it would change over the course of a few days.
Shelby was at the desk when I arrived. Young! Ok. This may work out well. She had long black hair that was truly beautiful. Her make-up was perfect, and she greeted me with a lovely smile. After I introduced myself, she said I was hers. She led me to her chair where we talked about what I wanted. I should have said I want you to make me beautiful, but I fear she would have asked me to leave. After all, she does hair. She doesn't perform miracles.
Following our discussion she began the process. I liked her style. She was funny and gave me the opportunity to see the back before she declared it finished. I appreciated the opportunity for feed-back. During the course of the cut, I noticed a very small arrow tattoo on her arm. I asked if it had special significance for her. Yes, it did. I loved what she shared with me.
She said that an arrow always moves in a forward motion. Since I don't remember her exact words, I will try to convey her meaning in my words. She said the only time an arrow moves backward is when it is put in a bow and moved back so that it can be propelled in a foward motion. That forward motion of the arrow is a picture of her life. She went on to say that for years she was held captive by other's thoughts and feelings towards her. She was not able to let go of things that were said. She was stuck in one spot. But, and I don't know what that one thing was that moved her out of that challenge, one day she realized that she was enough. And that her life needed to move forward according to her dreams. She determined she was not going to allow others to rain on that parade that belonged to her. She would let go of the things that in the past had brought her down and focus on the positive. She would move forward to that which awaits and brings her joy.
I loved her spirit. I loved her humor. And I loved the haircut.
When it was time to leave, we hugged. I think we both knew that we had been blessed to be together for a moment in time. I will return for a trim before this trip ends. Honestly, I want to visit with her again and learn more about her journey.
It could have all turned out so differently. I could have purchased a wig and hidden under it for months while my hair grew back. I could have walked away with tears and frustration. But, I walked away feeling like I had made a friend. And my hair was absolutely perfect!
Wednesday, February 25, 2015
Tuesday, February 24, 2015
A Mountain Stream and Life
A Mountain Stream and Life-
Nature has the power to teach us many truths. In order to learn those truths, we have to slow down and observe. We have to take time to see. To really see. To allow our senses to fill up with the sights and sounds nature gives freely. It is about our ability to stop the craziness of life and breathe in the glory of trees and mountains and streams. To listen. To hear what we have never heard before.
The path I was traveling was narrow. It meandered through majestic evergreens that stood tall and proud close to the path. Huge ferns filled the spaces under the giant trees. Mixed in with the ferns were other vivid green plants that thrive in the moist forest. Moss covered fallen tree branches and the north side of boulders. The beauty of it all took my breath away. Everything so lush and green. Everything so alive. So welcoming. I knew the forest was inviting me to share the wonder. And then I heard it. I recognized the sound of water rushing toward the sea. Water spashing over rocks. Water inviting me to come see. And I did. I stood beside the stream and took in all the beauty that was a gift to me. It filled me up.
As if this wasn't enough, the next part of my journey took me to a new thought. A new revelation. A new sense of life. It all came together as I walked beside the rushing stream.
This is what I saw that day. The water in the stream was moving quickly in most places. It plunged down rocks that rested in the stream. It cut new paths wherever it wanted. It was calm where no rocks or trees interrupted its flow. Those calm places seemed to slow the pace and give the water time to collect before continuing its journey. It was ever moving. Never completely stopping. It had a destination. Nothing was going to keep it from moving forward to that which awaited it.
You know my thoughts, don't you? You know that as I spent time watching the movement of the water in the stream, I thought about human life. I thought about the quick pace most of us accept as our lot in life. We move rapidly from one area of life to the next. Sometimes we find ourselves out of control. We become sidetracked and lose sight of our journey. We tumble and fall often unable to stop ourselves. Yet through it all, it is beautiful. It is the mark we leave on this earth. Our gift.
Some of us take that road less traveled. We cut a new path because we understand ourselves. We know that this particular path maybe a little more difficult, but we also know we cannot settle for anything less for settling would mean defeat of our spirit. This new way of life belongs to us. It may seem strange and forboding to others, but to us it is perfect. Cutting that new path may be what someone else needs, too. When they see us following our truest self, it gives them courage to leave the rushing and forge the new.
And then there are those times in life when calm settles over us. We feel peaceful. Our souls are at rest. Like the water that pools and waits before it moves on, we need these restful times. We need the serenity that washes over us while we are in this special place. We know that in a few moments life will push us once again, but for this precious time, we are grateful. We leave this place feeling refreshed. Able to face whatever walks that path with us.
Like the water in the stream, we are ever moving. Even when we are sitting, our minds are moving. Our thoughts won't let us alone. We are moving, moving, moving. We may not know the destination, but we do realize we are on a journey. Actually, we know the eventual destination. What we don't know is the mystery of the journey. We can't stop it no matter how hard we try. We might take a few tumbles along the way. We might fall. But this is true-life and the stream do not stop. Each moves over, around and through all obstacles. There is no going back. No cutting a new path around a huge rock that rests right in the middle of the path.
Eventually the stream arrives at its destination. It mixes with other waters to form a bigger stream-a river or lake or ocean. At that point its personal identity is lost. It has done its work. It is now part of a much bigger picture. And it is a beautiful thing-this new picture. Our lives are like that, too. We are each separate yet part of a much larger whole. We move in sync toward our destination. We are not swallowed up. We are joined together in a new and beautiful space and time.
We are moving, all of us. We are journeying. Along the way we experience life-the full and the empty. The quick and the slow. The peaceful and the aggitated. That is what life is. It is ever flowing toward the next bend, the next moment. The next lesson.
How wonderful when a moment appears and takes us to new thoughts. Takes us to new revelations. To new understandings. Moves us further in our journey. Gives us new insights about our own lives. When these moments fill us, we understand and are grateful.
Nature has the power to teach us many truths. In order to learn those truths, we have to slow down and observe. We have to take time to see. To really see. To allow our senses to fill up with the sights and sounds nature gives freely. It is about our ability to stop the craziness of life and breathe in the glory of trees and mountains and streams. To listen. To hear what we have never heard before.
The path I was traveling was narrow. It meandered through majestic evergreens that stood tall and proud close to the path. Huge ferns filled the spaces under the giant trees. Mixed in with the ferns were other vivid green plants that thrive in the moist forest. Moss covered fallen tree branches and the north side of boulders. The beauty of it all took my breath away. Everything so lush and green. Everything so alive. So welcoming. I knew the forest was inviting me to share the wonder. And then I heard it. I recognized the sound of water rushing toward the sea. Water spashing over rocks. Water inviting me to come see. And I did. I stood beside the stream and took in all the beauty that was a gift to me. It filled me up.
As if this wasn't enough, the next part of my journey took me to a new thought. A new revelation. A new sense of life. It all came together as I walked beside the rushing stream.
This is what I saw that day. The water in the stream was moving quickly in most places. It plunged down rocks that rested in the stream. It cut new paths wherever it wanted. It was calm where no rocks or trees interrupted its flow. Those calm places seemed to slow the pace and give the water time to collect before continuing its journey. It was ever moving. Never completely stopping. It had a destination. Nothing was going to keep it from moving forward to that which awaited it.
You know my thoughts, don't you? You know that as I spent time watching the movement of the water in the stream, I thought about human life. I thought about the quick pace most of us accept as our lot in life. We move rapidly from one area of life to the next. Sometimes we find ourselves out of control. We become sidetracked and lose sight of our journey. We tumble and fall often unable to stop ourselves. Yet through it all, it is beautiful. It is the mark we leave on this earth. Our gift.
Some of us take that road less traveled. We cut a new path because we understand ourselves. We know that this particular path maybe a little more difficult, but we also know we cannot settle for anything less for settling would mean defeat of our spirit. This new way of life belongs to us. It may seem strange and forboding to others, but to us it is perfect. Cutting that new path may be what someone else needs, too. When they see us following our truest self, it gives them courage to leave the rushing and forge the new.
And then there are those times in life when calm settles over us. We feel peaceful. Our souls are at rest. Like the water that pools and waits before it moves on, we need these restful times. We need the serenity that washes over us while we are in this special place. We know that in a few moments life will push us once again, but for this precious time, we are grateful. We leave this place feeling refreshed. Able to face whatever walks that path with us.
Like the water in the stream, we are ever moving. Even when we are sitting, our minds are moving. Our thoughts won't let us alone. We are moving, moving, moving. We may not know the destination, but we do realize we are on a journey. Actually, we know the eventual destination. What we don't know is the mystery of the journey. We can't stop it no matter how hard we try. We might take a few tumbles along the way. We might fall. But this is true-life and the stream do not stop. Each moves over, around and through all obstacles. There is no going back. No cutting a new path around a huge rock that rests right in the middle of the path.
Eventually the stream arrives at its destination. It mixes with other waters to form a bigger stream-a river or lake or ocean. At that point its personal identity is lost. It has done its work. It is now part of a much bigger picture. And it is a beautiful thing-this new picture. Our lives are like that, too. We are each separate yet part of a much larger whole. We move in sync toward our destination. We are not swallowed up. We are joined together in a new and beautiful space and time.
We are moving, all of us. We are journeying. Along the way we experience life-the full and the empty. The quick and the slow. The peaceful and the aggitated. That is what life is. It is ever flowing toward the next bend, the next moment. The next lesson.
How wonderful when a moment appears and takes us to new thoughts. Takes us to new revelations. To new understandings. Moves us further in our journey. Gives us new insights about our own lives. When these moments fill us, we understand and are grateful.
Wednesday, February 18, 2015
Somebody Out There Needs You
Somebody Out There Needs You-
Somebody out there needs our laugher. Somebody out there needs our positive attitude. Our caring spirit. Our ability to listen without judgement. Somebody out there needs us.
It could be that the person checking us out at the grocery store needs a smile and a thank you for the good job they are doing. Maybe the person who works long hours in a restaurant carrying heavy trays back and forth from kitchen to customer deserves a little note of gratitude. Thanking them for their great attention to our needs gives them a lift. That teacher who has endless patience, and who works hard to help all students could use a little note thanking her for her care of our children. You add to the list.
If we knew the impact we have on those we encounter each day, we would be shocked. Knowing that could possibly change the way we walk this earth. Every single person we encounter each day has challenges. Each person is trying to navigate through life while holding many things in secret. Most of us know that people don't want to hear our junk so we put on that happy face and walk into the world as if everything is perfect. We all do this. We want to be liked so we hold back that which we know will cause people to run screaming in the opposite direction. Actually, this is probably one of the best decisions we will make in life. Not everyone wants to know nor could handle our secrets. We have to choose wisely and select only a few who love us no matter what.
We are in a place where we don't see familiar faces at all. The first impression others have of us is important. These are the new folks we may need. We want to be sure to be kind and gracious to them. We take time to answer their questions. We smile. We are polite.
What about those we live and work with on a daily basis? Do we fall into the habit of being less than gracious? Could it be that we become irritated with their silly responses or goofy behavior? Do we answer questions with disbelief? How could they ask such ridiculous questions? Our patience wears thin with those we say we love. Sometimes. Once in awhile. Often. Always? These are the folks we share life with everyday. Maybe we need to stop and listen to our own responses, and then ask ourselves why. One reason I think we behave this way toward those we spend the most time with is our history with them. We have experienced life. We may have been hurt. We may have been disappointed. So we hang onto our little bad feelings and let them have it every chance we get. In other words, we cash in our stamps. Not a little at a time but all at once. Ouch.
Truth is everyone who wanders into our space is deserving of our kindness. Don't you just love it when you are in a bad place, and someone offers warmth and care? I do. I am so appreciative when someone sees the real me and stays anyway. That person has given me such a great gift. That should be a lesson to me to do the same for others. Everyday.
The energy we bring into the world has great power. I do believe that around each of us is an energy field that permeates everything we touch. Every person we encounter. We give that energy to every situation in life. Of course energy can be shut down. Nature can produce storms that cause the energy that heats and cools our homes to cease. Life can shut down our personal energy. Yet, we have the power to turn it back on. It may take a little time and effort--imagine that guy on the pole restoring our electricity during a storm. But, life needs our positive energy. People need it. Others count on us to bring light and heat into the world.
Today I will see people I do not know. In fact, everyone I see will be a stranger. Yet, each of those earth walkers need my smile. My gracious response. My care. And they need yours, too.
Power up!
Somebody out there needs our laugher. Somebody out there needs our positive attitude. Our caring spirit. Our ability to listen without judgement. Somebody out there needs us.
It could be that the person checking us out at the grocery store needs a smile and a thank you for the good job they are doing. Maybe the person who works long hours in a restaurant carrying heavy trays back and forth from kitchen to customer deserves a little note of gratitude. Thanking them for their great attention to our needs gives them a lift. That teacher who has endless patience, and who works hard to help all students could use a little note thanking her for her care of our children. You add to the list.
If we knew the impact we have on those we encounter each day, we would be shocked. Knowing that could possibly change the way we walk this earth. Every single person we encounter each day has challenges. Each person is trying to navigate through life while holding many things in secret. Most of us know that people don't want to hear our junk so we put on that happy face and walk into the world as if everything is perfect. We all do this. We want to be liked so we hold back that which we know will cause people to run screaming in the opposite direction. Actually, this is probably one of the best decisions we will make in life. Not everyone wants to know nor could handle our secrets. We have to choose wisely and select only a few who love us no matter what.
We are in a place where we don't see familiar faces at all. The first impression others have of us is important. These are the new folks we may need. We want to be sure to be kind and gracious to them. We take time to answer their questions. We smile. We are polite.
What about those we live and work with on a daily basis? Do we fall into the habit of being less than gracious? Could it be that we become irritated with their silly responses or goofy behavior? Do we answer questions with disbelief? How could they ask such ridiculous questions? Our patience wears thin with those we say we love. Sometimes. Once in awhile. Often. Always? These are the folks we share life with everyday. Maybe we need to stop and listen to our own responses, and then ask ourselves why. One reason I think we behave this way toward those we spend the most time with is our history with them. We have experienced life. We may have been hurt. We may have been disappointed. So we hang onto our little bad feelings and let them have it every chance we get. In other words, we cash in our stamps. Not a little at a time but all at once. Ouch.
Truth is everyone who wanders into our space is deserving of our kindness. Don't you just love it when you are in a bad place, and someone offers warmth and care? I do. I am so appreciative when someone sees the real me and stays anyway. That person has given me such a great gift. That should be a lesson to me to do the same for others. Everyday.
The energy we bring into the world has great power. I do believe that around each of us is an energy field that permeates everything we touch. Every person we encounter. We give that energy to every situation in life. Of course energy can be shut down. Nature can produce storms that cause the energy that heats and cools our homes to cease. Life can shut down our personal energy. Yet, we have the power to turn it back on. It may take a little time and effort--imagine that guy on the pole restoring our electricity during a storm. But, life needs our positive energy. People need it. Others count on us to bring light and heat into the world.
Today I will see people I do not know. In fact, everyone I see will be a stranger. Yet, each of those earth walkers need my smile. My gracious response. My care. And they need yours, too.
Power up!
Saturday, February 14, 2015
Pruning-Preparing for Growth
Pruning-Preparing for Growth
Yesterday we drove past a filbert orchard. Filberts are also called hazelnuts.
Filbert orchards are truly a work of art. Even in winter when the trees are resting and preparing for the work of producing fruit, they are beautiful. There must be a formula for planting the filbert orchards as the trees are perfectly spaced from one another. When they are mature, the tops gently touch one another yet do not interfere with the process of producing their wonderful gift.
Remember how a carpet looks after it has been vaccumed and before any feet have touched it? That is how the ground looks in a filbert orchard. Perfect. Clean. Not one bit of grass showing--anywhere. Pride of ownership shines in these orchards. They are well cared for.
As we drove past this one, I noticed that workers had been in the orchard preparing it for spring. Pruning had taken place. Scattered among the stately trees were small piles of discarded limbs. Limbs that, for whatever reason, needed to be cut from the trees. For the trees to produce and be healthy, that which causes damage and decay has to be removed. I wondered if it hurt the trees when the saw was applied. Or was there relief to have the damaged section removed. Soon workers will drive a tractor through the orchard and remove those piles. Once again the orchard will be spotless. As the earth warms, sap will flow and the work of the trees will begin. They will be ready for their mission in life.
Pruning is not a one time thing. It happens over and over as trees grow and change. It is necessary for the health of the tree. For it to produce in abundance, that which does not produce must be removed. I suppose a point is reached when pruning has done all it can do. At that point the tree is probably removed from the orchard. Such life lessons!
During this season of the year we are asked to think about our own lives. Our strengths, our weaknesses. The way we treat others. The way we see injustice and move to correct it. The options we have to provide for those who need what we can give. We are asked to examine ourselves and remove--prune, if you will--at least one thing that is not positive. One area of our lives that could use the saw. One area that we realize needs attention yet have been reluctant to begin the process. We are asked to think. To be honest with ourselves. To acknowledge that we might have hurt someone. Might. Certainly not intentional. But if intentional, to claim that part of ourselves that needs to be removed.
Pruning is difficult work. First, we have to admit that something within us is not the best for us or others. We have to stop blaming others for our own bad behavior. We have to look ourselves in the eye and say we have not been our best. That is probably the most difficult part of this process. Admitting our own faults is so much more difficult than listing the faults of others. Yes, we do tend to make lists, don't we? We don't like this and this and this. We don't like the way someone else thinks, talks, acts. We feel totally justified with our feelings. They deserve our contempt, don't they? They, they, they. Behaving in this way means we have turned our attention away from ourselves. We no longer see what is inconsistent within us. We only see what we don't like in them--those who are not like us. Who don't think like us. Who might walk to the beat of a different drum. Instead of celebrating and loving others, we see their faults. And they are enough to drive us mad.
Oh--how we would love to take that saw and prune the heck right out of them! We could make them so much better if we only had the chance. We could remove this, and this, and this. The result would be a much more healthy person. And we would be responsible for it all. Aren't we grand? Aren't we loving? Don't we have the health of the other as our first priority?
You see the fallacy in this, don't you? Long ago and in a distant land I learned that the only person I can change is me. Doesn't keep me from trying once in awhile to assist another!!:) I learned that we are all different, and while I may not understand certain behaviors in others, they are entitled to those behaviors even if they are hurtful. I am still learning to walk away from toxic relationships. Those don't happen often, but they do happen to us all. I am learning to accept the good in me and to work toward removing one piece at a time that needs to be placed on a pile and eventually removed from my life. I am learning that this is an on-going process. One pruning does not cover a lifetime.
I am grateful for the opportunity to remove those areas of my life that do not bring goodness into this world. In a world so full of hate and cruelty, why in the world would I want to add to that?
So, I will select one area of my life that could use a little work, and go for it. It will be my secret. My own pruning. It will be a positive thing in my life. For removing that which is of no use can only bring a better life.
Yesterday we drove past a filbert orchard. Filberts are also called hazelnuts.
Filbert orchards are truly a work of art. Even in winter when the trees are resting and preparing for the work of producing fruit, they are beautiful. There must be a formula for planting the filbert orchards as the trees are perfectly spaced from one another. When they are mature, the tops gently touch one another yet do not interfere with the process of producing their wonderful gift.
Remember how a carpet looks after it has been vaccumed and before any feet have touched it? That is how the ground looks in a filbert orchard. Perfect. Clean. Not one bit of grass showing--anywhere. Pride of ownership shines in these orchards. They are well cared for.
As we drove past this one, I noticed that workers had been in the orchard preparing it for spring. Pruning had taken place. Scattered among the stately trees were small piles of discarded limbs. Limbs that, for whatever reason, needed to be cut from the trees. For the trees to produce and be healthy, that which causes damage and decay has to be removed. I wondered if it hurt the trees when the saw was applied. Or was there relief to have the damaged section removed. Soon workers will drive a tractor through the orchard and remove those piles. Once again the orchard will be spotless. As the earth warms, sap will flow and the work of the trees will begin. They will be ready for their mission in life.
Pruning is not a one time thing. It happens over and over as trees grow and change. It is necessary for the health of the tree. For it to produce in abundance, that which does not produce must be removed. I suppose a point is reached when pruning has done all it can do. At that point the tree is probably removed from the orchard. Such life lessons!
During this season of the year we are asked to think about our own lives. Our strengths, our weaknesses. The way we treat others. The way we see injustice and move to correct it. The options we have to provide for those who need what we can give. We are asked to examine ourselves and remove--prune, if you will--at least one thing that is not positive. One area of our lives that could use the saw. One area that we realize needs attention yet have been reluctant to begin the process. We are asked to think. To be honest with ourselves. To acknowledge that we might have hurt someone. Might. Certainly not intentional. But if intentional, to claim that part of ourselves that needs to be removed.
Pruning is difficult work. First, we have to admit that something within us is not the best for us or others. We have to stop blaming others for our own bad behavior. We have to look ourselves in the eye and say we have not been our best. That is probably the most difficult part of this process. Admitting our own faults is so much more difficult than listing the faults of others. Yes, we do tend to make lists, don't we? We don't like this and this and this. We don't like the way someone else thinks, talks, acts. We feel totally justified with our feelings. They deserve our contempt, don't they? They, they, they. Behaving in this way means we have turned our attention away from ourselves. We no longer see what is inconsistent within us. We only see what we don't like in them--those who are not like us. Who don't think like us. Who might walk to the beat of a different drum. Instead of celebrating and loving others, we see their faults. And they are enough to drive us mad.
Oh--how we would love to take that saw and prune the heck right out of them! We could make them so much better if we only had the chance. We could remove this, and this, and this. The result would be a much more healthy person. And we would be responsible for it all. Aren't we grand? Aren't we loving? Don't we have the health of the other as our first priority?
You see the fallacy in this, don't you? Long ago and in a distant land I learned that the only person I can change is me. Doesn't keep me from trying once in awhile to assist another!!:) I learned that we are all different, and while I may not understand certain behaviors in others, they are entitled to those behaviors even if they are hurtful. I am still learning to walk away from toxic relationships. Those don't happen often, but they do happen to us all. I am learning to accept the good in me and to work toward removing one piece at a time that needs to be placed on a pile and eventually removed from my life. I am learning that this is an on-going process. One pruning does not cover a lifetime.
I am grateful for the opportunity to remove those areas of my life that do not bring goodness into this world. In a world so full of hate and cruelty, why in the world would I want to add to that?
So, I will select one area of my life that could use a little work, and go for it. It will be my secret. My own pruning. It will be a positive thing in my life. For removing that which is of no use can only bring a better life.
Thursday, February 12, 2015
Friends
Friends--
It is true that some people come into our lives and stay awhile. They bring something we need at that time in life. They are valuable pieces of our history. These are the folks who eventually move out of our space. We wish them well as they continue their journey. Others will benefit from their caring spirit. We call ourselves fortunate for the moments we shared.
Then there are those who walk in and should have immediately walked out. Communication is difficult, time spent is not pleasurable. Yet, they stay for awhile. We allow this until that one day when we realize nothing positive has occured since they arrived. However, something holds us back from opening the door and pushing them through. It could be that we detest the fact that any relationship/friendship failed. We accept more than our share of the blame. We search within ourselves for answers when answers were in front of us all the time. We simply lacked the courage to usher them out. We learned much. Hopefully, enough to keep us from walking down that road again.
In between those two extremes are those who come in and go out almost on a daily basis. These kind souls truly care about many. They stay in touch. They offer support when they perceive a need. They are constant. We need these folks. These warm-hearted folk tell the truth but in a positive way. They never desire to hurt. They are the salt of the earth.
We need many types of friendships. We need the silly one who makes us laugh until we snort. We need the serious one who pushes our thoughts and ideas. We need the one who has been around for years and refuses to leave. Even when leaving would be a great idea! We need the one who loves adventure. The one who insists we try that new thing that seems almost dangerous to us. Yes, we need them all. We need the one who shares life with all its struggles. Who simply needs us to listen.
And they need us. They need our goofy sense of humor. Our way of doing things that might seems slightly off center. Our listening ear. The open invitation to our home and our lives even when we haven't showered or done our hair. They need our love and our support.
Life would be so empty without all the people who travel through it. Even those who cause a little distress teach us lessons. Without these experiences we would never grow into the people we were meant to be. Difficult life lessons cause us to reach beyond our known into unchartered waters. From these lessons we learn much about what is important. We learn ourselves.
Each time I see a friend, my heart sings. It smiles and giggles. It opens to accept the gift of friendship. And I am blessed.
It is true that some people come into our lives and stay awhile. They bring something we need at that time in life. They are valuable pieces of our history. These are the folks who eventually move out of our space. We wish them well as they continue their journey. Others will benefit from their caring spirit. We call ourselves fortunate for the moments we shared.
Then there are those who walk in and should have immediately walked out. Communication is difficult, time spent is not pleasurable. Yet, they stay for awhile. We allow this until that one day when we realize nothing positive has occured since they arrived. However, something holds us back from opening the door and pushing them through. It could be that we detest the fact that any relationship/friendship failed. We accept more than our share of the blame. We search within ourselves for answers when answers were in front of us all the time. We simply lacked the courage to usher them out. We learned much. Hopefully, enough to keep us from walking down that road again.
In between those two extremes are those who come in and go out almost on a daily basis. These kind souls truly care about many. They stay in touch. They offer support when they perceive a need. They are constant. We need these folks. These warm-hearted folk tell the truth but in a positive way. They never desire to hurt. They are the salt of the earth.
We need many types of friendships. We need the silly one who makes us laugh until we snort. We need the serious one who pushes our thoughts and ideas. We need the one who has been around for years and refuses to leave. Even when leaving would be a great idea! We need the one who loves adventure. The one who insists we try that new thing that seems almost dangerous to us. Yes, we need them all. We need the one who shares life with all its struggles. Who simply needs us to listen.
And they need us. They need our goofy sense of humor. Our way of doing things that might seems slightly off center. Our listening ear. The open invitation to our home and our lives even when we haven't showered or done our hair. They need our love and our support.
Life would be so empty without all the people who travel through it. Even those who cause a little distress teach us lessons. Without these experiences we would never grow into the people we were meant to be. Difficult life lessons cause us to reach beyond our known into unchartered waters. From these lessons we learn much about what is important. We learn ourselves.
Each time I see a friend, my heart sings. It smiles and giggles. It opens to accept the gift of friendship. And I am blessed.
Wednesday, February 11, 2015
My Grandad and I
My Grandad and I--
My grandad once told me I could talk to a fence post. He called me his radio and would give me pennies to stop the chatter. We were very close, my grandad and I. I miss him.
He was a self-made man. He grew up in the hill country of northern Arkansas. I think he must have been blessed with vision beyond his years. He possessed an entrepreneurial spirit, and he put that spirit to use from a very early age.
The first businesses he owned were a wholesale grocery store and a sawmill. When World War II began, he and my grandmother moved to Washington state where he purchased another sawmill. Add a machine shop to his businesses.
At some point after the war he moved from Washington to Oregon where he purchased another sawmill. Gran also loved new adventures. She purchased a dress shop. They were busy day and night. While in that southern Oregon town, my grandad became interested in bowling. So interested that he actually bowled a couple of perfect games. He was always looking forward. And because of that, he sold the businesses and moved to the last place he would live.
His interest in bowling took him on his next adventure. They purchased two bowling alleys. In two different towns. He would drive each day to both to be sure they were running well. One summer they flew me from Arkansas to Oregon to spend time with them. During that trip he taught me how to do the bookkeeping for both alleys. I loved having that responsibility. He trusted me. It was one of those magical times of my life.
One of the fondest memories I have of that trip came at the end. It was time for me to return home as school was about to begin. However, there was a challenge. The opening of the Oregon State Fair and the opening of school happened at the same time. I had no idea that he had made up his mind that we would go to the fair together even though I would miss the first week of school. And so go to the fair we did. We had a joyous time. And I have such sweet memories.
Years later one of my sisters and I would ride a bus from Arkansas to Oregon to spend time with them. By this time I had completed college and taught for one semester. It was during breakfast one morning that he asked me about a car. I told him I would love to have a car but couldn't afford one. He said he had been thinking about that. He had decided to sell me his little car. My grandmother was too shocked to say anything for a bit. When she regained her wits, she said there was no way I could drive that car all the way across country.
Even thought she did not approve, he sold me that little blue car. He took it to a garage and made sure everything was perfect. And on the appointed day my sister, who was 16, and I started our drive from Oregon down through California and across country to Arkansas. It was quite an adventure. No cell phones. No GPS. Only a map. When we stopped for the night, I called to let them know where we were. The phone hardly rang before it was picked up. They were anxious to know we were ok.
What he gave me was the greatest gift. He gave me the gift of confidence. He believed I could do anything I set my heart to do. He believed I was smart enough to be a success. He loved me. And he loved my husband when we moved to Oregon during the first year of our marriage. By that time he was not well. He still owned the two bowling alleys, and we spent many happy hours bowling with them.
My husband and I were known for taking trips with only a few dollars in our pockets. This was a cause for alarm for my grandmother. She would tell him to give us money just in case we needed it. I would write a check to him, and he would give me cash--just in case. When he died, one of those checks was still in his wallet.
Everyone needs someone like my grandad. Someone who loves unconditionally. Someone who encourages. Someone who makes memories happen. Certainly he was not a perfect man, but he was a perfect grandad.
This past week I have driven past those two bowling alleys. I have driven the streets and roads they drove so many years ago. I can almost feel their presence in the car beside me. She who loved to laugh. He who was quiet. She with the twinkle in her eye. He with a shy smile.
Sometimes you simply have to walk down memory lane.
My grandad once told me I could talk to a fence post. He called me his radio and would give me pennies to stop the chatter. We were very close, my grandad and I. I miss him.
He was a self-made man. He grew up in the hill country of northern Arkansas. I think he must have been blessed with vision beyond his years. He possessed an entrepreneurial spirit, and he put that spirit to use from a very early age.
The first businesses he owned were a wholesale grocery store and a sawmill. When World War II began, he and my grandmother moved to Washington state where he purchased another sawmill. Add a machine shop to his businesses.
At some point after the war he moved from Washington to Oregon where he purchased another sawmill. Gran also loved new adventures. She purchased a dress shop. They were busy day and night. While in that southern Oregon town, my grandad became interested in bowling. So interested that he actually bowled a couple of perfect games. He was always looking forward. And because of that, he sold the businesses and moved to the last place he would live.
His interest in bowling took him on his next adventure. They purchased two bowling alleys. In two different towns. He would drive each day to both to be sure they were running well. One summer they flew me from Arkansas to Oregon to spend time with them. During that trip he taught me how to do the bookkeeping for both alleys. I loved having that responsibility. He trusted me. It was one of those magical times of my life.
One of the fondest memories I have of that trip came at the end. It was time for me to return home as school was about to begin. However, there was a challenge. The opening of the Oregon State Fair and the opening of school happened at the same time. I had no idea that he had made up his mind that we would go to the fair together even though I would miss the first week of school. And so go to the fair we did. We had a joyous time. And I have such sweet memories.
Years later one of my sisters and I would ride a bus from Arkansas to Oregon to spend time with them. By this time I had completed college and taught for one semester. It was during breakfast one morning that he asked me about a car. I told him I would love to have a car but couldn't afford one. He said he had been thinking about that. He had decided to sell me his little car. My grandmother was too shocked to say anything for a bit. When she regained her wits, she said there was no way I could drive that car all the way across country.
Even thought she did not approve, he sold me that little blue car. He took it to a garage and made sure everything was perfect. And on the appointed day my sister, who was 16, and I started our drive from Oregon down through California and across country to Arkansas. It was quite an adventure. No cell phones. No GPS. Only a map. When we stopped for the night, I called to let them know where we were. The phone hardly rang before it was picked up. They were anxious to know we were ok.
What he gave me was the greatest gift. He gave me the gift of confidence. He believed I could do anything I set my heart to do. He believed I was smart enough to be a success. He loved me. And he loved my husband when we moved to Oregon during the first year of our marriage. By that time he was not well. He still owned the two bowling alleys, and we spent many happy hours bowling with them.
My husband and I were known for taking trips with only a few dollars in our pockets. This was a cause for alarm for my grandmother. She would tell him to give us money just in case we needed it. I would write a check to him, and he would give me cash--just in case. When he died, one of those checks was still in his wallet.
Everyone needs someone like my grandad. Someone who loves unconditionally. Someone who encourages. Someone who makes memories happen. Certainly he was not a perfect man, but he was a perfect grandad.
This past week I have driven past those two bowling alleys. I have driven the streets and roads they drove so many years ago. I can almost feel their presence in the car beside me. She who loved to laugh. He who was quiet. She with the twinkle in her eye. He with a shy smile.
Sometimes you simply have to walk down memory lane.
A New Day
A New Day--
Today is a new day. It is waiting for you. It is waiting for me. What we decide to do with it is our choice. It began the moment we opened our eyes and welcomed it into our space. It will stay with us through our waking hours. And when the day ends, we will have completed another part of our earth journey.
Actually, many of the activities of our day may not be of our choosing. Making a living may consume large chunks of our time. We are well aware of the difference between making a living and making a life. However, the making a living part of our day holds extreme importance.
Perhaps the thing to contemplate is what we are like when we are making that living. Are we grateful for the opportunity to grow and learn? Do we see all the chances to enhance life for others while making that living? Are we sharing what we know with no thought of return? Are we actually doing our best or doing enough to receive that check? Somewhere in the midst of those questions we all find ourselves. Certainly there were days when I reported for work with less than a good attitude. What I did find out about myself was that once I was on the job, my attitude and thoughts shifted. The things that had bothered me prior to arriving at my job were now replaced with the knowledge that I was responsible for guiding others. In other words, I forgot about myself.
Could that be the key to a day worth living? Is it possible it is that simple?
Don't know about you, but sometimes I want to hang on to bad feelings. Yep, I know that sounds so petty and silly. Ever happen to you? Something happens, someone says something, something goes wrong and the day is on a downhill slide. No matter that it began rather nicely. Let that one thing occur, and it is all over. Once a little bad feeling slips into the day, it colors everything it touches. Instead of being truly grateful, a grudge finds its way to the shoulder and rests there all day. It loves the scenery. It has the ability to control all thoughts and emotions. How lovely to ride on the shoulder and see the world and others through eyes of anger, hurt, defeat. You name the feeling. There are many. As long as we allow it to stay close to our head, it will continue to feed us with reminders of how we were hurt. How someone else took away our joy.
So the day moves from morning to afternoon to evening with that little bad feeling hanging on for dear life. Why let it go? We can enjoy the knowledge that we were treated badly. It feels good to feel so bad. If we let it go, what will happen? Do we love being stubborn? By refusing to let go of that which is holding us down, are we kept from moving forward? How long before others tire of this behavior?
My happiest times are those when my thoughts and actions are focused outside myself. Sure, there are times when I have to relearn to let go of negative thoughts and move forward. But, as I practice thinking of others first, the thoughts about myself naturally take a back seat. I no longer am the entire focus of my day. Isn't that such a lovely way to live? I am grateful for every moment when that becomes my reality.
And now we are at the beginning of another day. Another part of our life journey. May we live this day as if it is the last one we will have. As a gift we can give away over and over and over. As a way of making life easier for those who need comfort. When we live our day like this, it is the best day of our life.
Today is a new day. It is waiting for you. It is waiting for me. What we decide to do with it is our choice. It began the moment we opened our eyes and welcomed it into our space. It will stay with us through our waking hours. And when the day ends, we will have completed another part of our earth journey.
Actually, many of the activities of our day may not be of our choosing. Making a living may consume large chunks of our time. We are well aware of the difference between making a living and making a life. However, the making a living part of our day holds extreme importance.
Perhaps the thing to contemplate is what we are like when we are making that living. Are we grateful for the opportunity to grow and learn? Do we see all the chances to enhance life for others while making that living? Are we sharing what we know with no thought of return? Are we actually doing our best or doing enough to receive that check? Somewhere in the midst of those questions we all find ourselves. Certainly there were days when I reported for work with less than a good attitude. What I did find out about myself was that once I was on the job, my attitude and thoughts shifted. The things that had bothered me prior to arriving at my job were now replaced with the knowledge that I was responsible for guiding others. In other words, I forgot about myself.
Could that be the key to a day worth living? Is it possible it is that simple?
Don't know about you, but sometimes I want to hang on to bad feelings. Yep, I know that sounds so petty and silly. Ever happen to you? Something happens, someone says something, something goes wrong and the day is on a downhill slide. No matter that it began rather nicely. Let that one thing occur, and it is all over. Once a little bad feeling slips into the day, it colors everything it touches. Instead of being truly grateful, a grudge finds its way to the shoulder and rests there all day. It loves the scenery. It has the ability to control all thoughts and emotions. How lovely to ride on the shoulder and see the world and others through eyes of anger, hurt, defeat. You name the feeling. There are many. As long as we allow it to stay close to our head, it will continue to feed us with reminders of how we were hurt. How someone else took away our joy.
So the day moves from morning to afternoon to evening with that little bad feeling hanging on for dear life. Why let it go? We can enjoy the knowledge that we were treated badly. It feels good to feel so bad. If we let it go, what will happen? Do we love being stubborn? By refusing to let go of that which is holding us down, are we kept from moving forward? How long before others tire of this behavior?
My happiest times are those when my thoughts and actions are focused outside myself. Sure, there are times when I have to relearn to let go of negative thoughts and move forward. But, as I practice thinking of others first, the thoughts about myself naturally take a back seat. I no longer am the entire focus of my day. Isn't that such a lovely way to live? I am grateful for every moment when that becomes my reality.
And now we are at the beginning of another day. Another part of our life journey. May we live this day as if it is the last one we will have. As a gift we can give away over and over and over. As a way of making life easier for those who need comfort. When we live our day like this, it is the best day of our life.
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