Pay It Forward

Pay It Forward--

What a blessing to have warm, sunny days.  I even appreciate warm, cloudy days.  After a winter that seemed as if it would never end, any days above freezing make me smile.  Even the grass seems to be relieved that winter is over.  Sprigs of green are appearing on shrubs, and daffodils are almost blooming.  Bluebells are springing out of the soil.  Soon they will cover sections of our woods and plant beds.  Eventually, trees will produce leaves, and the world will wear lovely shades of green.  The earth will experience a rebirth.  She will gift us with beauty.

A recent tragedy has also turned into a rebirth.  A young man's death has touched hearts.  Because of his life, others are paying it forward.  That means they are honoring his memory by doing acts of kindness to strangers as well as friends and family.  What a wonderful difference that is making in the lives of those who receive as well as those who give.  People are reaching into their hearts and pocketbooks to make life better for others.  While some are sharing what they are doing, others are doing it quietly.  Both are great examples of the wonder of humanity.

Isn't it wonderful to receive an unexpected gift?  Not long ago I received a gift of tulips from a friend.  She told me when she saw them, they reminded her of the colors in my house.  I was so touched by her thoughtfulness.  She certainly didn't have to purchase the tulips.  She had a choice.  Leave them there or  bring them to me.  Everyday I enjoyed their beauty and was reminded of the person who gifted me with them.

That tragedy has caused us all to think long and hard about what truly matters in this world.  Sometimes I forget that a smile is a gift.  A kind word is a gift.  A batch of homemade cookies right out of the oven is a gift.  A call, an email, a text are all gifts.  Listening is a gift we can give.  A hand written note expressing our appreciation for a person in our life is a gift.  I smile when I receive a thank-you card from a bride-to-be.  Knowing that something I selected is appreciated makes me happy.

When you examine all the things I listed, what you see is the human touch.  That is what matters most in this world.  We are wired to connect with others.  We need one another to get through our days on this earth.  Our lives are richer and sweeter when we allow ourselves to be real with one another.  When we let that guard down, and we all have that guard, we are free to experience what real friendship and love are.  It can be a fearful thing to allow others to see the us we try so hard to hide.  Yet, the most real times in our lives are those times when we relax and let go.  Why is that so difficult?  I suppose we all fear the reaction we might receive should we decide to allow others inside our private space.  Not everyone we know has a need to know us on a deep level.  That is reserved for those few who allow us to see them as they are, too.

Wouldn't this world be a more beautiful place if all humanity began to see the value in everyone?  How would that change the world?  Certainly, there will always be those who decide to engage in behaviors that are harmful to others.  But, what if more and more people began to understand and act on the beauty of others?  What if we decided to try and understand another point of view?  What if we accepted differences without being judgemental?  What if we extended ourselves in love to friends, family and strangers?  What if we extended our own boundaries?  Do we have the power to make this world a more peaceful and loving place?  What if we opened ourselves to others who are different from us with no intent of changing them to be like us?

When a terrible thing happens, we are forced to face the truth that nothing is forever on this earth.  Because we know that, we have a choice in how our days will be spent.  We have a choice in our attitude.  We have a choice in how we think about others.  We have a choice to love or hate.  We have a choice between holding onto hurt feelings or letting them go.  We have choice.  I wish it were that simple, but it isn't.  We are complex creatures.  Yet, our days could be so much sweeter if we could allow ourselves to rejoice in the beauty that surrounds us and celebrate each day we are given.

Sometimes when I sit down to write, what appears on the page is not what I intended.  I find that so interesting.  It is as if something inside determines what shall appear on the page.  And I am surprised when I read what I have written.  Tonight is one of those times.

How do I end this essay?  I think I will end it by suggesting that all of us find that tender part of ourselves and allow it to surface.  That doesn't mean we cease to see what is wrong in our world.  What it means is we allow ourselves to love others and ourselves in a much deeper manner.  If we can do that only a little bit, a more gracious spirit will cover the earth, and everyone will be better for it.

You Just Never Know

You Just Never Know--

The line was short.  Only the two of us.  She was finishing her business, and I was next.  As she stepped to the side so I could move forward, she stopped.  Looking me straight in the eye, she said she hated bras.

Nothing much surprises me anymore, but this did catch me off guard.  Before I could reply, she continued with her observations about bras.  Her bras straps slide off her shoulders, she said.  She often finds herself shoving her hand inside her clothing in an effort to pull the straps back onto her shoulders.  And when that is accomplished, the back of the bra has ridden up her back.  So she has to reach around and tug and pull to get it into place.  By this time I was almost doubled over laughing.

She was a small woman.  Probably in her 70's.  She wore jeans, a light blue sweater and white shirt.  Her gray hair was cut in a stylish short bob.  As she spoke, her eyes sparkled.  We were having a great moment.  Women who had experienced the same frustrations.  We were on the same page.

I asked her if she had been fitted for the right bra.  Yes, she had.  She said it made no difference whether she wore an expensive bra or a cheap one. The result was always the same.  Nothing fit.

Before we parted company, she said she was seriously thinking about taking that garment off and laying it on a counter right there in the store.  Then she added that it was time she joined the feminist movement.  We were both laughing as she walked away.

I love those unexpected moments.  When we are open to life, others sense that.  Maybe it is the look in our eyes, or the way we move.  Maybe it is an openness others sense in us.  Whatever it is, I hope I always have it.  It would have been such a shame to have missed that moment.  She walked into my space for a moment and left such a great memory.

As I walked through the store, I fully expected to see a bra laying on a counter, and a woman in a soft blue sweater happily walking toward the front door.

Taking the "Be Happy" Challenge

Taking the "Be Happy" Challenge--

A new venture on Facebook is to be happy for 100 days.  What a lovely idea.  Mark today as day 1 on your calendar and force yourself to act as if you are happy for 100 days in a row.  Do I sound a little skeptical?

I thought I would give it a try today.  I decided that no matter what came my way, I would handle it with a happy spirit.  I would smile and even laugh.  My eyes would twinkle, and my walk would be light.  Yes, this day would begin that 100 day happy venture.

It's interesting how once your mind is set to accomplish something, life turns against you.  For instance, the computer runs so slowly that you grumble about networks and the money you spend to have easy access to the internet.  Hum...things aren't looking too good for the start of those 100 days.

Later in the morning you realize that a bill that needed to be paid has been buried under the stack of papers on the desk.  Some uncaring person is threatening to add a late fee.  That's what the person on the other end of the phone call tells you.  There is no way you can explain that you intended to pay that bill, but it got lost.  Has a bit of a phony sound, doesn't it?  So you speak in your sweetest and most respectful voice to that phantom person who could care less.  If you are lucky, they will reverse the late fee charge.  A bit of happy just floated out the room.

I love it when the recorded voice announces that the call may be or will be recorded.  Once I told the person on the other end that I was recording the call, too.  There was a bit of panic, and then I was told that I couldn't do that.  So, I said we didn't have anything to discuss.  It seems to me that we should think about what we allow in our lives.  But I digress.

Back to the beginning of my personal 100 happy days.  Things were going well until I stepped outside. Oh my gosh.  The wind nearly knocked me over.  Once I was safely in my car and driving down the road,  I wrestled with it to stay out of the ditch.  Well, maybe that is a slight exaggeration, but it isn't much of one.  I felt as if I were playing dodge ball with giant trucks.  That is when the 100 days bit the dust.

Before I left the house, I combed my hair.  Once outside, I had to ask why I even bothered.  Every hair on my head flew in opposite directions.  Normally, that would have been no big deal.  But, today I needed to stop in a few stores.  At one of the stores I purchased a bouquet of flowers.  They were nearly stripped down to the stems by the wind.  So much for happy.  Let's talk about survival.

Well, I think the concept is wonderful.  Really, I do.  Being happy for 100 days in a row.  Wow!  I know there are people who will work hard to achieve this worthy goal.  I am not one of them.  My life is a series of ups and downs, ins and outs, happy, sad, challenged, ticked off, delighted.  It moves and circles.  As it moves and circles, moods and feelings move with it.  There is no way I know how I will feel tomorrow.  Or the next day.  Certainly I can be more aware of others and realize that my attitude affects those around me.  But, I think I will take the next 100 days as they come.  Some will bring saddness.  Others joy.  Some will bring challenges.  What I can do is celebrate the fact that I am given another 100 days.  That appeals to me.

I think I will try for 60 seconds of happy.  Then increase it to five minutes.  Follow that with thirty minutes.  Push for the hour.  But, if an unhappy thought makes its way into my mind, I will not feel defeated.  I will simply start the process all over--going in small increments.  I think I can handle that.

Take good care.

Taking Time Off

Taking Time Off

Just a short note to let you know that I am taking time off to put my second book together.  Many of my blogs will appear in this book.  There will also be new writings that have not posted.  It takes much effort to put a book together.  It also takes a lot of time.  Without the help of others, the book would never be ready for purchase.  If everything goes as planned, it will be printed and in my hands by May 1.

I am anxious to return to writing my blog.  It is my way of relating to life.  But, for the next month or so, I need to focus on this project.

And yes, spring is on the way.  She gets sidetracked, but she is making progress towards us!

Take good care.

A Novel?

A Novel? 

She saw him making his way toward her.  He was dressed in that t-shirt and tight jeans she loved.  The shirt matched the color of his eyes and hugged his muscles.  He walked with such confidence.  It was obvious he knew who he was and where he was going in life.  And she was the lucky one.  He was all hers.

Oh my gosh.  Did I really just write that paragraph?  Let's rewrite it to fit everyday life.

She saw him making his way toward her.  He was dressed in yesterday's t-shirt that had paint spatters all over the front.  There was a big hole under the sleeve on the right side.  His jeans were baggy and out of style.  The shirt and his eyes were no where near the same color, and muscles?  Actually, he did walk with confidence.  However, it was obvious he had no clue where he had been or where he was going.  Sometimes he walked into a room and forgot why he was there.  She understood because she did that, too.  Yes, he was all hers.  And she was happy about that.

As you can tell, I could never write a novel.  But, it is fun to think about it.  Writing fiction must be so much fun.  The writer can make the characters do and say whatever they want.  They can mimic real life or live totally in a fantasy world.  What a great gift to be able to write stories.

That is not my style.  In fact, I have been wondering exactly what my style is.  Sometimes people ask me what my books are about.  My usual answer is they are about life experiences.  I observe life happening and then share what I have seen and heard.  Or I give my impression of what I have seen and heard.  Does that describe it?  I am not sure.

What I do know is life is full to overflowing with color and beauty.  Each experience I observe teaches me new lessons.  I store those lessons in my memory and use them to make life richer for others.  Works of fiction have the ability to teach, also.  When I was still in the classroom, I would tell my students that there were lessons to be learned in short stories.  We simply had to dig into the story to find the meaning that could be applied to everyday life.  They would often roll their eyes and grumble about having to read such stupid stories.  But, we did read them, and we did talk about them.

Each life is a story.  Each life has its own cast of characters, settings, conflicts, resolutions.  Each has colors--bright and dark.  The journey through life presents challenges that force us to reach deep within.  That is the beauty of it all.  We never cease to grow and learn.  We are constantly in motion either physically or emotionally.  Our story unfolds in bits and pieces.  Sometimes we like the way it is moving.  Other times we do not.

While we live in the real world, the world of fiction and fantasy allows us to escape for just a bit.  We can imagine that good-looking guy staring at us from across the room.  We can imagine being swept off our feet and onto the dance floor.  We can almost feel the excitement of having every eye in the room  glued to "us" as we dance across the floor.  Yes, it is good to live in that world for awhile.

And then we return to the real world.  We see that partner who holds our heart so carefully and lovingly.  We smile at the person who loves us even when we are so darn unlovable.  We have shared memories with that person.  We have made a life with that human.  No author can write about the love we know.  Words are not adequate.

Fiction is fun.  Real is better.

What is the Greatest Gift?

What is the Greatest Gift?

Ask that question to a five year old child, and the answer would probably be that new toy they saw advertised on television.  Marketing companies know exactly when to have those commercials available for viewing for this particuar audience.

A child of ten might say a phone would be the greatest gift.  A phone gives them instant communication with their friends.  They can text, instant message, send pictures and do other functions I simply don't understand.  It is a mark of their freedom from parents.  They can escape into their own world by simply pushing a few buttons.

That sixteen year old who has an eye on a vehicle would more than likely respond with "wheels."  This makes perfect sense.  That license to drive with the picture on it is worth more than gold.  It is such a precious gift.  For the young person it is further proof of maturity.  For the adults--perhaps not so much!  With that little piece of plastic comes the added worry of a young person behind a wheel.  But, we have all been there.  Maybe that is the reason we are so fearful when our person leaves with the car for the first time.

Being accepted into the college/university of choice could be seen as the greatest gift.  After years and years of school, studying at the school of choice is certainly a wonderful experience.   Four or more years to gain knowledge, grow as a human person, make decisions about life's work.  Those years are the middle years between high school and work.  They provide time to mature.  They broaden our horizons.  They are such an important time in the life of a young person.

After graduation from college, the greatest gift could very easily be a job.  All at once the future is in our face.  We have to make so many new decisions.  Where will we live?  How will we pay the bils?  What do we really want to do?  Money is seen in a new way at this point.  That job gives us freedom, but it comes with a high cost.

And so it goes.  As we grow older, our ideas of the greatest gift shift.  Or maybe we have always known what the greatest gift really is.  Maybe life simply got in the way of our vision.  Somewhere in all of life's passages, we come to see the real truth about the greatest gift.

It isn't cars or bikes or jobs.  It can't be bought.  The only way to claim it is to give it away.  What a paradox.  You know what that greatest gift is, don't you?

Yes, it is love.  It is the knowledge that someone cares for us above all else.  It is the knowledge that no matter what life brings, someone will walk that walk with us.  We are loved unconditionally.  Even with all our warts.  Someone sees the good and beautiful in us.  What a wonderful gift.  It is perfect.

It is possible to withhold love for many reasons.  I would ask you to think about why we withhold our love.  Maybe we want to get even.  Maybe we are scared we won't be loved in return.  Perhaps we are keeping score.  Whatever the reasons we humans use for not loving, the truth is this.  We are the ones who are hurt the most by our refusal to extend ourselves in love.

I know this is a trickly slope.  Love as portrayed in movies and tv is fiction.  We live in the real world where loving is often difficult.  We are hurt by another's actions or words, and we pull away.  We are afraid of that person or situation.  We wrap our emotions in love proof shields.  No one will ever get to us like that again.  You know what?  I completely understand this.  But, the truth is we often go years and years with a heart protected from anything lovely that might happen our way.  That is a great saddness.  A great saddness indeed.

I do know this--I love spending time with each of you!  Whatever your circumstances, it is my sincere hope that love surrounds you.  Each and every day.

The Birthing Process--A New Twist

The Birthing Process--A New Twist

Have been experiencing "labor pains" lately.  Yes, it is true.  There will be no more human children coming forth from this  woman.  But, there are other types of labor pains, and they can be almost as painful as childbirth.

The labor pains I am experiencing are of my own making.  They appear almost every time I sit down at my computer and attempt to birth a new idea.  Or birth a new twist to an old idea.  They usually begin with my fingers poised and ready to deliver words to the keyboard. The keyboard is waiting..waiting.  I am forever grateful to those who invented the computer and that wonderful delete key.  Mine is almost worn out.  Birthing ideas and putting them into coherent sentences is difficut and time consuming.

My mind explodes with thoughts and ideas.  However, often those ideas and thoughts do not appear in paragraph form.  They are single thoughts.  It is my responsibility to give birth to them.  This process can take hours or days.  The struggle is to make the thoughts and ideas easy for the reader to follow.   Agony is a constant companion during these times.  It is painful when the thought is within sight but just outside my reach.

However, I am pleased as punch to share with you that my second book is almost ready for the printer. I have labored long and hard to put together essays that make the reader smile, think, remember.  I am happy and relieved to share with you that there are only a few items remaining for me to decide.

One very important thing I must birth is the title of this second book.  Once that decision is finalized, I will have direction in the design of the front and back cover.  It sounds so easy.  In fact, it is difficult.   Another decision facing me is the selection of photographs for the essays.  Adding photographs to the book is quite costly.  However, I think they greatly enhance the text.  Soon my camera and I will spend time examining the world around us.

Then it is off to the printer.  This part of the process is time consuming.  They will make a copy of the book and send it to me.  It is my task to proof it.  Once I have completed that, I sign off on the book, and it is printed.  But, before that final step, there will be many emails and phone conversations.  The printing company wants to make sure they have it exactly as the writer wishes.

I am hoping to have it available for purchase by the first of May.  If you are interested in a copy, email or message me on facebook.  That will help me make the decision about how many copies to print.  I will not know the cost until the order for copies is submitted.

Labor is a tricky process.  Sometimes it happens quickly.  What a blessed relief.  Sometimes it requires time and stress.  But, when the process is complete, what joy!

My labor is coming to an end.  I am ready!