Wishing Things Were Different

Wishing Things Were Different--

Have you ever commented that you wish things were different?  The things you wish were different could be anything.  They might include your job/career, personal relationships, weight, hair, residence, attitude.  It is possible that you spend time planning how to make things different.  Then life happens, and you forget to follow through with the plan.

Wishing things were different is common to the human condition. While there are certain things we are pleased with, there are others that we wish to change.  We think about how to make the change happen.  We write down our steps to keep us on target.  Early in the process we check that plan regularly.  Then we check it a little less often.  And finally we don't check it at all.  We do know where the list is.  It is under the pile of correspondence that resides on the desk.  The new plan is to revisit it and begin again.

Let's face the truth.  Wishing never made anything different.  Wishing is noncommital.  We express the change we would like to make, but we take no steps forward.  Perhaps it is our way of talking about change without actually doing it.  We feel part of the group.  Everyone has something they wish were different so we have something in common with the rest of the world.  But, is that how we really want to live?

It is easier to use the word wish than to take the necessary action that change requires.  I can wish to be twenty pounds lighter.  I will not be twenty pounds lighter by wishing.  I have to change my actions.  I have to be deliberate about food choices.  If those twenty pounds are important to me, I will make an action plan and follow it.  The same goes for all areas of life.  Nothing ever changes without changing direction.  And there is the challenge.

Change means we move from where we were to a new place.  This place could be a place of peace amid chaos.  It could be a physical move from one area of the world to another.  It could mean cleaning out the clutter in our minds.  Everytime we work toward change, we leave something behind.  Making the decision about what to leave and what to embrace forces us to think about who we are, and what we want our lives to be.  Yes, that is challenging, but it is also invigorating.  We feel full of life when we do the hard work of change.  Our attitude is lighter and brighter.  Everyday annoyances seem less troublesome.  We see ourselves through different lens.  And we like what we see.

So, why is it so difficult to change from "I wish" to "I will?"  Your guess is as good as mine.  Maybe we are lazy.  Maybe we are just a little unhappy with present circumstances, but not unhappy enough to get off our butts and do the work required for real change to occur. Maybe we believe this is as good as it will ever be, and we need to accept the present situation.  Maybe in the past we tried to change something that was troubling us, but we never quite got there.  Rather than start over and risk failure again, it is easier to tell ourselves that things aren't so bad.  Until the next time we use the word wish.

Yes, I wish certain things were different in my life.  Some of those things I wish for are things I can accomplish.  Others will probably remain a wish.  But one thing is certain.  If I remain the same, so will my life.  My direction is determined by my decisions about all areas of life.  It is up to me to examine the times I use the word wish and see if I am simply joining a conversation or actually putting a plan into action.

Have you ever wished things were different?