Every Life is Precious

Every Life is Precious

Today I decided to clean a closet.  That means I have to focus.  What needs to be placed on a shelf or in a drawer, and what must be pitched.  Those are the questions I asked as I touched each item.

After working for what seemed like an eternity,  it was time for a break.  Sitting at my desk, I opened my Facebook page.  It was then that I saw the heartbreaking news.  A young woman who had been in my classes died in a house fire.  She was absolutely beautiful.  Sweet and kind.  Her face always wore a smile, and there was a twinkle in her eye.

Once again I write about a person I knew who has left us.  Seems like there has been way too much of this happening lately.  We all know that life is uncertain.  We just don't fully understand how uncertain it really is.  I think I am glad we don't know our future.  Some of us would become incapable of continuing.  Others would accomplish much knowing the limit of their time.  As it is, we go about our life doing what we all do--work, play, hobbies, friends, family.

In a bit I will return to the mess in the closet, but right now my mind has taken me to a new place.  Let me share.

Not long ago there was a picture taken from Saturn of Earth and her moon.  My goodness.  How tiny in all of creation.  How insignificant Earth looked.  Just a pin dot.  My mind was challenged by the vastness of space.  In all of that ocean beyond our earth, there are millions and millions of "worlds" we know nothing about.  I love it that we continue to explore.

Then I thought about all the ways humans have of hurting one another.  We seem to think the universe revolves around us.  Perhaps that is due to the fact that we are the only ones we know about at this time.  Would we be different if we knew we were being observed?  And what would others see if there are others who can see us?  From a distance, as she sang in that beautiful song, we all look so alike.  Arms, legs, hands, feet, heads, middles.  Sure, we range in color, but we are basically fomed the same.  Would it seem strange that beings who look the same actually try to hurt and kill one another?  It's not like Star Wars where beings are really different--and I love Star Wars.  Humans are recognizable because of similarities.  Or would "they" see us being compassionate?  Would observers see our kindness?  Would our love shine?  Would they sense that we are a creation of great value?  Would they understand that we value each human life?  Would our progress be apparent--not only progress in science, but also progress in taking care of this beautiful earth?

Another thought--and they come unannounced!  Are we an experiment?  Are we here to learn how to really live and love?  If so, are we learning?  Are we working at compromise when it seems compromise is impossible?  Do we give up?  Do we allow injustice to reign?  Are we moving toward the understanding that everyone has true worth?  Are we practicing radical hospitality?  If those are some of the lessons we are to learn, how are we doing?  On a very large report card, what grade would we be given?

This is too much.  I can't think along those lines for long.  My brain rebels.  So, I guess I will return to the tedious job of cleaning.  I need something mindless for a little bit.  And as I clean, I will remember that young woman who walked this earth and touched countless lives.  Rest in sweet peace, dear one.

"Your House is on Fire!"

"Your House is on Fire!"--


Several years ago, we had a house fire.  It started in the basement.  It actually put itself out when pipes melted, and water poured down.  While the fire was the beginning, the smoke finished everything.

We were on our way home when we received a phone call saying our house was on fire.  That is not a message we expected to hear that night.  I put the pedal to the metal and hurried home.  Firetrucks blocked the curve by our driveway.  Flashing lights were in the driveway.  Firefighters, dressed in full gear, were coming and going from the house.  It looked like something straight out of a television program.

Everything looked fine from the outside.  We were told where the fire started.  Since the fire was out, smoke was the culprit.  We were allowed inside only long enough to gather personal things--toothbrushes, medicines and a few clothes.  We hurried as we were told it was toxic in the house.

Now we needed a place to stay.  We found an extended stay motel.  That would be our home for more than a month.  The next morning we returned to do a walk-through.  In the daylight we could see how the smoke had ruined walls, carpet, furniture.  Everything was covered with a film.   We hired a company to begin the cleaning process.  Workers arrived the next day and began removing everything.  And I do mean everything.

We lost a few pieces of furniture, a few pieces of art and all the carpet throughout the house--even on the upstairs level.  Smoke had traveled through the vents to all rooms.  Clean-up began.  It was a long process.  Everyday we returned to the house to answer questions and see what was happening.

Eventually, it was all cleaned.  Carpet was laid.  Window treatments and clothes returned from cleaners.  Boxes and boxes of possessions were returned and placed in the basement.  That would be our challenge.  Opening all those boxes and finding a place for things.

It is strange how that felt.  The house was a blank slate.  And now that everything was returned, it was hard to put things away.  It all felt so different.  It was a good time to throw away items we simply should have disposed of years before the fire.  So, we began a pile of things we no longer needed.

People would ask us if we were okay.  I know they were concerned that we had a fire.  And that perhaps we had lost items with sentimental value.  They were concerned that we were out of our house for a long time.  We were honest when we shared that we were fine.

Yes, we had been displaced.  Yes, we lost a few items.  Yes, it is difficult to remember exactly what was in each room for insurance purposes.  Those itemized lists are a pain.  But, our home was standing.  The people from the company who did the cleaning were wonderful--caring and kind. Our insurance agent was so understanding and helpful.  No one was hurt.

No one was hurt.  That is the key to our ability to deal with this positively.

Life can be divided into three sections--people, places, possessions.  This is not my idea.  It is from a book I read years ago.  The order in which we place those three"p's" says much about what we value.     People first.  Places next.  Possessions last.   I will be the first to admit that I love a section of this wonderful country with all my heart.  That would be a place.  And I value a few items.  Pictures, a few pieces of jewelry, some artwork, furniture that belonged to special people in my life. That would be possessions.  But none of those hold a candle to the value of the people in my life.

You may find yourself in a similar circumstance at some point in your life.  Challenges may race toward you.  You may have no warning.  That is life happening.  Some of life's challenges are easier to deal with than others.  Certainly a house fire is nowhere close to the trauma of a death or illness.  The point is those challenges that visit us tell us much about who we are.  We learned so much about ourselves from the fire.

Often there is no time to prepare.  We simply have to walk through whatever situation comes our way.  Those life challenges help us understand the pain that others feel when life hurts.  We can offer our understanding.  And, honestly, that is the essence of life--to extend ourselves to others in need.

Now years after the fire, we need to redo the house again!  Ourselves--not with the help from a fire!:)

One-Liners

One-Liners--


One-liners are quick ways to get a point across.  When others agree with our one-liners, we are validated.  It feels so good to lead the way, doesn't it?  I love it when others agree with something I write.

But, one-liners can be very judgemental.  When they are judgemental, they almost always have an edge.  Frequently they are written by folks who feel they have the answers to life's challenges.  I wish it were that simple.  Unless one-liners are positive, they hold no interest for me.  I read them and then move on.

How easy it is to believe we have the answers to most of life's challenges.  If only others would listen to us.  If only others believed what we believe.  If only we could influence thinking.  Life could be so much better if others lived as we do.  The only thing bothersome about this way of thinking is it negates any other point of view.  It replaces personal choice with our choice.

What is right for one may be questionable for another.  We each get to make our own decisions.  One of the beautiful aspects of being human is our ability to make choices.  Now, just because we have the ability to make choices doesn't mean we always make the best ones.  Making choices that challenge us push us to grow.  Honestly, I don't wish to be around folks who believe they always make the right choices.  I find those folks a bit self-centered.  Spending time with others who are searchers on this journey is refreshing.  We can each share without feeling we are being preached at.  Who wants that?

It is most enjoyable to visit with someone who values others.  Who knows that each life journey and life story is unique.  I love to be able to tell my story without the knowledge that judgement is just under the skin of the listener.    My life is a highway of roads leading in all directions.  There have been times when I wished I had taken a different road, and other times when I rejoiced on the journey.  But, the thing is this--all my choices belong to me.  Life, for me, has been a series of conversations with myself and others.

And you know what?  I don't remember a single judgemental one-liner.  But I do remember the love, care and concern shown to me by others.

Another Goodbye

Another Goodbye--

This morning we said goodbye to a friend.  We will do that all over again in a couple of days.

Early this morning a neighbor and friend did not wake up.  Another family mournes.  Friends and family will gather round in support and care for the family.  Life will never be the same.

What to say.  Words are not coming this morning as I sit to write.  Maybe it is the shock of another fine person who left us too soon.  A person who cared for all the neighbors.  Who would watch over your place while you were on vacation.  Who would plow out a driveway just because it needed to be done. A person whose hand was always thrown up in greeting.

His journey on earth is complete.  Those of us left will think of him and smile.  He will be missed.

No more, please.

Saying Goodbye to a Friend

Saying Goodbye to a Friend--


This morning we will say goodbye to a friend.

Recently I had a conversation with a friend about this thing called life.  We looked at it from all sides and pronounced it good.  Good even when we know that it has an ending.  Good even though we realize there will be mountains to climb and valleys that take our breath away.  Yes, good even though we will experience such pain.  We contrast that pain with joy and say it is good to be given the gift of life.

Hearts are heavy today.  The hurt is not only emotional, it is physical as well.  Our bodies ache.  Our minds struggle with understanding.   Yet, there is no way to explain the whys.  Parts of us that keep us alive wear down.  Things go wrong inside our bodies.  Sometimes there is a way to fix the problem.  And sometimes, even with the best technology and skill, the problems cannot be fixed.  The whys begin.

How to comfort the hurting family is the question.  It won't be long until people return to the business of their lives.  That is how it works.  It is not a bad thing.  But, for the one whose life has changed the most, life will seem to stand still.

This morning we say goodbye to a very fine person who walked this earth.  Who achieved much.  Who loved his family.  Who was a good friend.  Who served his community and church.  Who walked in thoughtfulness.  This man will be missed.  That is the best tribute we can pay to him.

Thank you for all you did and were for all the days of your life.

Hanging Wallpaper

Hanging Wallpaper--


Wallpaper is making a comeback.  Is that a good thing?

Some of the rooms in my grandmother's house had wallpaper.  I remember running my hands over it.  There were designs that were raised and felt like velvet.  It was heavy and dark.

A few years or decades later wallpaper manufacturers decided to lighten the look a bit.  I spent hours pouring over wallpaper books.  All the different textures, designs, colors.  We were herded into apples and cherries for the kitchen with maybe a few vines flowing around the fruit.  In the bathroom we were given fewer choices.  There were specific designs for every room.  But, the heavy brocade was gone.

At one point in wallpaper history the glue had to be applied with a brush.  What a chore.  Later came the prepasted.  Much easier to hang.  Of course one needed a bathtub handy for those long strips to soak.  There was a bit of dripping from the bathroom to the designated wall, but that was simply part of the process.

We had very slanted ceilings in an upstairs bedroom.  I decided wallpaper would be lovely on those slanted ceilings.  My husband had a few misgiving about gravity but was persuaded to apply it.  Everything was going so well.  The first strip was up and looking lovely.  It added such warmth to the room.  Such character.  Then he began applying the second strip.  Now, he is a very patient man.  But his patience began to wane when the first strip decided to fall down on his head.  There he stood with wallpaper covering him.  It was probably not the time to laugh, but there was nothing I could do about the sounds that escaped my body and exploded into the room.

With great self control he laid the second strip down and reapplied the first strip.  We waited.  And waited.  It seemed to stick.  He proceeded with the second strip.  I wish I could say that falling, wet wallpaper happened only once.  Sadly, it didn't.  However, he continued until it was almost cemented to the ceiling.  Even though it wasn't exactly straight, I knew enough to stay quiet.  Years later we removed it.  And laughed about the hanging party.

Stripes became popular.  One day I decided that I would wallpaper the hallway by myself.  I had friends who did it all the time.  Everytime we got together, they bragged about the latest wallpaper hanging. One would describe the lovely wallpaper she had put up in the bedroom. The seams were hardly visible.  Another would talk about her dining room.  Well, I wanted to join that party.  I selected the paper, took it home, measured the height of the wall, cut the paper and put it in the tub to soak.  What is the correct term for that?  Who cares.

After the designated time of soaking, I removed it from the tub.  Where to begin hanging it?  Looking at the hall wall, I decided to start in the middle.  Seemed like the best place to me.  So, I hung the first strip.  Quite proud of myself, I cut the second strip and laid it in the tub to soak.  Then my phone rang.

Wouldn't you know?  It was one of those wallpaper hanging friends.  After a bit of conversation, she asked what I was doing.  I told her I was hanging wallpaper.  There was a long pause in the conversation.  I thought the line might have gone dead.  She then asked me all about my technique.  Did I cut it correctly?  Did I soak it in water?  Did I start at a corner?

A corner?  Why should I start at a corner?   I said no, I had not started at a corner.  She asked where, exactly, I had hung the first strip.  I said in the middle of the wall.  There was a small gasp followed by the command to wait until she arrived at my house.  I was just a little offended.  Why was she coming to my house?

In a few minutes she arrived.  Hurrying upstairs, she looked at the lovely strip I had hung, started to laugh and hugged me.  Then she started to clean up my mess.  In a couple of hours she hung all the paper in that small hall.

One might think it was a ploy to get her to my house to hang it for me.  One would be wrong!  I really did think I could do that.  Honestly, I don't remember reading anything about starting at the corner instead of the middle of a wall.  But, I know now.  Yes, I do.

So--wallpaper is making a comeback.  But not in this house.  We will use paint to create the magic.  And I can start anywhere I want on any wall.

The Dreams We Once Had

The Dreams We Once Had--

Is it possible we reach a point in our lives where we do not dream anymore?  The dreaming I am writing about is not the kind that colors our nights, but the ones that captured our imagination years ago.    Maybe it was piloting an airplane.   I tried that once.  Made the decision that I wanted to learn to fly.  Took a lesson with a woman who flew planes in the big war.  She was a very good instructor.  Everything was going well until she told me to shut the engine off--and we were high in the sky.  Shutting the engine off while on the ground would have been fine.  But we were not on the ground.  I remember thinking that I was going to die.  It idled for a bit, and then she told me to start it again.  Obviously it started, or I would not be writing this blog.  Once on the ground and safely in the hanger, I did some serious thinking about flying lessons.  That dream had a beginning and an end on the same day.

I think it is important to recognize the dream.  Take a good look at it.  Roll it around in your mind.  Figure out how you might accomplish it.  Then go for it.  It might make no sense to anyone else.  But, does that matter?  What matters is that you took the chance.

Perhaps you have always wanted to be a chef.  Take lessons.  Or maybe you have always wanted to jump out of an airplane.  Do it.  Strap yourself to that experienced skydiver and take the leap.  Have you always wanted to sing in a group?  Go to places where groups are performing and ask how you might be a backup singer.  You have to start somewhere.  I always thought that would be great fun.  I have sung in groups both large and small and done a bit of performing.  It is so cool.  Join a choir.   Believe in your ability to be part of something that you have dreamed about doing.

Have you wanted to work with children?  Volunteer at a school to listen to children read.  Or tutor a child who needs a little bit of encouragement.  Churches always have classes for children.  Give that some thought.

You see, doing what appeals to you will make you a happier person.  That dream you have held in the private place deep within you is yelling to get out.  It wants to see you have that new experience.  It knows how good you will feel about yourself once you have stepped forward.  That dream that is dormant can come to life.  It is up to you.

I guess the question is this--What are you waiting for?  What has to happen for you to move toward that long held dream?