Tuesday, December 16, 2014

Drivers During Holiday Shopping

Drivers During Holiday Shopping

Somewhere deep in the heart of the city people gather.  They gather under cover of the fast approaching dawn.  Each is handed an assignment.  Once they have listened to the plan and examined the contents of their envelope, they leave.

Meanwhile, unsuspecting folks ready themselves for holiday shopping.  Armed with full gas tanks, giant cups of coffee, long lists, money and credit cards, and a healthy dose of anticipation, these folks march to their transportation and head off to do serious business.  Little do they know that a plan has been set in motion that will test their patience and their choice of colorful words.

Not only do these holiday shoppers have all of the above, but they also have a map.  Backtracking is not an option.  If they follow the map and their time line, everything will be accomplished just like they planned.  With coupons and lists on the seat beside them, off they go to their first destination.

Everything is going as planned.  Traffic is moving along at the speed limit.  This is going to be a piece of Christmas candy.  And then it happens.  A car moves in front.  Everything changes in a heart beat.  The person driving the car in front has decided that the speed limit is way too fast.  Better to slow all the traffic down.  Besides, it saves gas when one drives slowly.  This requires the shopper to slam on the brakes to avoid kissing the rear end of that slow moving car.  Did I mention how quickly positive attitudes change?

The shopper glances at both lanes.  Maybe it will be possible to move into either the lane to the right or left.  But no.  Both of those lanes are almost bumper to bumper.  Now those choice words begin to form in the brain.  Exactly who is driving that car?  What do they think they are doing?  Boy, would I--oh, I mean that shopper like to give that person a piece of their mind.  Don't they understand that everything can be accomplished if the schedule is maintained?  Evidently they don't.  Even when the shopper almost touches the bumper, the speed does not change.

While all of this frustration is happening in the shopper's car, the little blue haired person in the car in front is smiling.  The plan is working perfectly.  They were able to move into the lane in front of this selected car and have been there ever since.  This little person knows that all over town others are doing the same thing.  What a blast they are having.

Ok.  Maybe there really isn't a conspiracy out there on the parkway.  Maybe all these folks really don't gather in a secret location to cause mischief.  Maybe I am the only one who finds myself trapped behind these people who wear headscarves over their blue hair.  Maybe there is a reason that I am the one who is selected.  What I do know is it takes all my will power to control the urge to think nasty thoughts about those sweet little people.  Wait!  Who said they were sweet?

A solution would be to shop late at night.  Surely those folks would be in bed with their hair nets in place.  Traffic should be less and hopefully, they will all be moving at the designated speed limit.

However, I like to think that somewhere out there....










Monday, December 15, 2014

The Blue Canopy

The Blue Canopy

Cars and trucks raced by us.  The speed limit was only a guideline on this busy Saturday a week and a half away from Christmas.  I could imagine lists being read as each automobile made its way toward its destination.  Only a little time to get it all done.

We were stopped by a red light at a very busy intersection.  A few scooted through the yellow light.  I usually do that, too.  However, people had on their serious faces.  They were out with a purpose, and I didn't want to get caught in their way halfway under that yellow light.  Better to wait my real turn.

While we were waiting for the light to change, I noticed all the different businesses.  Some had panel trucks setting in the lot.  One had small semis parked beside the side door.  No business at that intersection had any Christmas decorations.  On the outside anyway.  It was business as usual for them.

Looking to my left I saw a cemetery.  That was not unusual.  Cemeteries dot the landscape in most cities.  What caught my attention was the blue top of a canopy.  Once I saw that, I knew that one family was not thinking about traffic or decorations.  That family was grieving.

In the midst of all the motion of life, life had ceased for someone.  A stranger I will never know.  That group of mourners were thinking about other things. Perhaps they were talking about the service that honored their person.  Maybe they were thinking quiet thoughts about memories shared. Or maybe they were wiping away tears as they made their way to the cemetery.  With cars hurrying by, those folks would stand beside the gravesite and say their last goodbyes.

When I was younger, I didn't understand why the whole world didn't stop when someone I loved died. How could those people be so uncaring?  It simply seemed wrong to my young brain.  Things should stop.  Everyone should be quiet and respectful.  Those are the things I thought when I was much younger.

A little side story-When I was a college student, the local funeral home hired me to sing at funerals.  Mostly I sang at those services when the family needed someone.  Someone from the funeral home would drive to the college and get me.  I would walk into the room and take my place behind a wall of flowers and plants out of view of the family or those attending.  I would usually sing two songs and then exit the room.  I would be taken back to college to resume my day.

I never stayed for the service.  Except one time.  I was called to sing a song for a woman who had been in prison.  It was obvious there were only a few people attending.  That time I stayed out of respect for the woman who had few people to mourn her passing.  That particular funeral made a  lasting impression on me.

Over the years I have sung at many funerals.  Some for friends, some for students, some for family.  After so many years of doing this, you would think it would be easy.  The truth is it never is easy.

Back to Saturday.

The light finally changed, and we continued our journey.  Yet that blue canopy is still in my mind.  I can see it clearly.  It told the rest of the world that someone had left.  Someone's journey had come to an end.  Someone knows what I have yet to know.  It made me think.

Time is precious.   Time is such a gift.  We think we have tons of it.  And maybe some of us do.  We should cherish it.  We should guard how we use it.  We should make the most of it.  We simply do not know how many ticks on the clock of time we have.  We must not allow ourselves to believe that we can put off what needs to be said or done because we believe we have time to do it at a later date.  If something needs to be said, say it.  If someone needs to know how much they mean to us, tell them.  If we need to apologize, do it.  If someone's name comes to our mind, seek them out.

The people who would be standing beneath that blue canopy gave me a gift.  They reminded me that time does not stand still.  It continues.  And while I still have time, I must celebrate it.  For one day it will end.

Tuesday, December 9, 2014

Putting Up Our Tree

Putting Up Our Tree

So I asked him to bring in the tree.  He said which one.  I said the one that is in the best shape..and so it started.

Later that day he asked me to join him on the patio.  There were four boxes with trees inside, three standing askew, a couple in small pots with broken pieces.  Yes, it is Christmas.  The time to make merry and spread love all around.  Just not quite yet, I thought.

It was necessary to remove the boxed trees and set them up to see which one was the least ruined.  Which one had lights that worked.  That took quite a bit of time--outside time in the cold.  Eventually we decided which ones could come into the house.  The others--too bad shape to even give away.

Now, you need to understand that we do this every year.  We always say we are going to discard the worn out ones-the ones with lights that appear at the very bottom, maybe in the middle, but definitely not all over the tree.  Every year we do this dance.  This year would be different.  I made the decision to purchase a new one.  The dance would be happy and joyful.  The tree would go up.  All the lights would shine.  It would be lovely.

Off we went to find that perfect tree.  We did find it.  Bought it and brought it home.  He began to assemble it.  Since I was busy with other things, I didn't go into the room until he said it was ready to present itself for adoration.  I was not prepared for what I saw.  The tree completely overtook the end of the room.  And the top touched the ceiling and then turned itself down toward the floor--quite a bit of it did that bend.  I stood in awe.  Really?  All that work.  All the white snowy stuff all over the floor and furniture, and it was the wrong size.  How did that happen?

A phone call to the store-It was their mistake.  We could return it.  So it was loaded into our truck a day later and returned.  After quite awhile examining the choices, I decided nothing would work.  So I called him at home.  Put up the least awful one, please.  However, there was a problem.  Only about one fourth of the lights actually worked.  Since the tree was flocked, all the lights were flocked, too.  That meant no new lights would work.  They were not original to the tree.

He said he would take pliers and cut all the strands off the tree so we could put new ones on.  Now, that is quite the job.  The strands were wound around almost all the branches.  He spent hours removing all those lights.  Filled a garbage bag.  And while he was performing that surgery, I left to purchase new lights.

Have you seen the boxes and rows of light choices?  I was in shock.  What to purchase?  Which would work?  Which were wrong?  Eventually I made the decision and left with my arms loaded with lights.  He put them on the tree.  I walked into the room.  They were awful.  Absolutely awful.  Off they came.  He put them back into the boxes and out the door I went.  The return line was so long I gave up.  Instead, I went back to the rows and rows of lights and made a different decsion.  I purchased boxes and boxes of lights.  Surely one of these would work.

Back home he dutifully put the new lights on the tree.  Did I know that they were attached to green and white cords?  No, I didn't.  When I looked at the tree, I saw that we had both colors--green and white.  And I said they were perfect.  Thank you for all that hard work.  It will work.  It does make sense.  White cords for white trees and green for green.  We have both.  Proudly we have both.

The tree sat for several days with no decorations.  I could not bring myself to deal with it.  She kept beckoning me to make her pretty.  I resisted.  Putting up a tree had already been quite an ordeal.  Was it really necessary to have one?  I did make the decision to dress her.  She looks lovely at the end of the room.  However, we have already decided that she will not come into the house again.  This is her last year to shine in this house.  Somewhere in the back of my mind is the nagging thought that we will do this all over next year.

The good thing about all of this is we didn't quarrel once.  We did a lot of laughing and talking, but we didn't get stressed out about it.  It was a challenge.  It was nothing serious or life changing.  It was simply a tree.  I did consider a live one--or one that was alive at some point early last fall.  Then I remembered all the sharp needles that covered the floor around and under the last live one we brought into the house.

She doesn't know this is her last year.  We tell her how pretty she is and how much we are enjoying her.  We plug her in so she can shine for all who visit.  Oh no.  As I write this, I am almost convinced that she can return.....She is like an old friend who is a little worn but precious.  She is covered in memories.  She has character.

Who would have thought....

Thoughts about Christmas

Thoughts About Christmas

Soon it will be Christmas.  Exactly what does that mean?

One thing it means is hope.  Hope for peace in a world that has never ceasing conflict.  When we think about conflict, we often think of nations fighting against one another.  We think about people being displaced.  We think about suffering and anguish.  Yet, conflict is often part of our everyday lives.

Conflict is magnified at Christmas.  At the time when we should be the most hopeful, there is often a sense of loss.  Of things not being quite right.  That someone we should enjoy does not feel the same.  That a relationship has suffered damage.  It doesn't matter what  caused the conflict.  What matters is not losing hope that things can be made right.  Hope keeps us moving toward better times.  Better relationships.  Deeper understanding.

Another meaning is love.  Not the mushy type but real love.  Love that sees need and moves to help.  It is an action.  A way of living that brings people together.  It sees good in others.  It doesn't hold on to bad feelings but replaces them with positive thoughts.  It opens itself up to others and welcomes everyone.

Then there is the word welcome.  Welcome suggests  warmth.  It is easy to understand that word.  We all have experienced a welcoming spirit.  We love to be in its presence.  We are reluctant to leave.  We know within our spirits that this person truly cares for us.  We know that we can return as often as we want, and that spirit will always welcome us.

What about acceptance?  Does Christmas suggest that word?  If it doesn't, it should.  What is gained from pushing others away?  What does that say about our own spirit?  Sure, we all have warts.  We all have behaviors that push other's buttons.  It is a two way street, right?  So, how do we move toward acceptance when we simply don't want to let go of our own  anger or frustration?  How do we embrace others with honesty and care?

And then there is peace.  When I think of that word, I think of quiet.  I think of calm.  I think of beauty. Peace can come when we least expect it.  In the midst of hurt, it is possible to find that place of peace that gets us through.  It sustains us.  It wraps us in arms of gentleness and encourages us.  It washes over our wounded spirit and reassures us that we are not alone.

Let's not forget sharing.  Lucky are those who have friends and family to share this time with.   In the hustle and bustle of going at full speed, it is easy to forget about those who are lonely.  Those who would give anything to have someone to share the holiday with.  It is easy to forget to look outside ourselves.  Yet, that is exactly what Christmas is about.   Seeing outside ourselves.

Yes, the list of words that describe Christmas is endless.  It is bright lights and lighted trees.  It is decorated homes and sometimes reindeer antlers on cars.  It is shopping for the right gift for a special person.  It is sending greetings to others.  It is parties and food and packages.  It is secrets that others try to locate.  It is giving.  It is time spent over coffee with new friends who might be experiencing life away from loved ones for the first time.  It is all of this and so much more.

It is about a child who was born to bring all of this and more into the world.  A child who grew into a man who cared about others.  Who spoke about peace.  Who left no one out.  Who accepted all.  Who shared stories and parables about how to bring this world into its true fullness.  Who taught us that loving others, understanding others, working through conflicts is possible.  Who showed us by example how to  open ourselves to others.  Who placed hope within us.  Hope for a peaceful world-both far away and in our own homes and families.

In the midst of this season I am sure each of us will examine our own lives and make new decisions about who we want to be.  The wonderful thing about this is we get to start over every day.  We get to show peace and love.  We get to welcome others into our circle of friends.  We get a do-over.  I love that.  I need those opportunities to make life better.  I need more chances to let others know how precious they are to me.  I need more time.  I hope I have it.

And I hope you have the same opportunities to examine your own life.  When each of us work to make life better for all, we will have achieved the true meaning of Christmas.


Friday, November 21, 2014

A Rich Life


A Rich Life--

Rich is a word that has many meanings.  In today's world it is used to designate the 1% who control the biggest chunk of money/assets.  At least that is the connotation one understands when listening to the news or reading certain publications.  That 1% has it all.  All the money, the multiple homes, private jets, expensive jewelry, stocks that pay huge dividends, classy automobiles, the finest in clothing.  Yes, the 1% do enjoy the finer things in life if finer is defined as material possessions.

While I am sure there are many greedy people in that small percentage, my guess is there are many who  live charitable lives.  They give back from what they have been given.  Certainly not all of the 1% are money grubbing people wishing to make life miserable for those who do not have what they have.

But, this is not written for that small group of people.  I seriously doubt that one of that group would ever come in contact with anything I write.  Hey--there is a challenge in those words.  Wonder if I could get someone to actually read a blog or a book?  Hmmmmm..I shall have to give this some thought.  I love a challenge.

This is written for all the rest of us.  Those of us who actually have more than enough to live a full life.  Those of us who have bills but manage to pay them and help others, too.  Those of us who see life from a different playing field.

So, what is a rich life?  What does it look like?  What does it feel like?  How can you tell if your life or anyone's life is rich?  Is there a certain look?  Do we observe certain behaviors that give us a little peek into a rich life?  So many questions.  And they are actually easy to answer.

From where I stand, there are many ways to identify a rich life.  Most of them have nothing to do with personal finances or address.  They have to do with a life that is characterized by a  welcoming spirit.  No one is excluded.  All are welcome.  Another give-away is the quality of relationships that bless lives.  Those who possess a rich life--by my definition--are those who desire to be of help to others.  They may never speak of the good they have done.  Others knowing is not important.  What is important is they saw a need and were able to meet it.

Sometimes these folks spend a portion of their day meditating or reading their Bible or other religious books.  They seek that peace that comes from listening to their spirits.  They desire to live a full life-one that welcomes whatever each day brings.  Now, I don't mean they welcome illness or tragedy.  They know that these things come into lives unannounced.  When these types of challenges happen, they are surrounded by friends and family who have shared their rich life.  They have experienced their goodness.  They have probably eaten at their table, shared stories, solved problems.

Some who live rich lives become leaders.  Others are content to lead from the back.  Both are needed.  Both fulfill necessary functions.  I am content to put the chairs in a row for a group meeting.  I don't always feel the need to be up front.  There is a sweetness in making things good for others.  In taking care of the grunt work.  In being available for the lowest jobs.  At other times, I enjoy sharing what I have learned or experienced.

A rich life is probably full of people.  Full of laughter, shared tears, shared dreams both fun-filled and broken.  A rich life is grateful and thankful all the time.  It sees that glass as neither half empty or half full, but overflowing.  It experiences joy in seeing children laughing and playing, in observing wildflowers growing along the roadside, in greeting a friend.  It accepts what is while at the same time reaches for that next step.  It does not hold grudges but seeks to make peace.  It doesn't keep score.  There is no joy in that for anyone.

A rich life--beautiful to see, beautiful to experience.  Something to reach for-something to cherish.






Tuesday, November 18, 2014

An Idea for Doing Good


An Idea for Doing Good-

Something happened that I believe is worth sharing.  In fact, it might even be called a model.

During a sermon at our church, our pastor said these words.  "Share the Love."  Those words went straight to my heart.  I have no idea what he said after those words or before them.  He used that sentence in the middle of his message.  Simple words.  An imperative sentence.  A command.

That afternoon I sat thinking about those words.  How could I share the love?  What action should I take?  Was I missing something simple that I could do for others?  Was it possible that I was refusing to see need even when I could offer help?  These and other thoughts rumbled around in my brain trying to find a place to rest.  But rest was not found.  Instead I continued to think.   What?  Who?  Where?  When?  How?

Slowly an idea began to form.  Why hadn't I thought of it before?  Here is  what happened in a very short time.  Someone suggested it could be a model for others.  Please let me know if you decide to Share the Love!

I contacted 25 of my women friends.
I asked them if they would be willing to join me in purchasing 100 pairs of undies for women in a shelter for abused women.
I set a date for either picking them up or having them dropped off at my house.

That was it.  We collected 110 pairs of undies in a week.  Most of these women are employed so  I offered to purchase for them knowing how busy life is for moms with children.  Some asked me to take care of it for them.

And then the decision was made to continue the project.

Each person would donate $10 a month.  Since there were 25 of us, that meant we could gift women/children with $250 each month.  Ten dollars doesn't go very far, but $250 does.  So, everyone donated $10, and we made another donation to Healthy Start.  This is a group that helps young girls who are pregnant receive training and care during pregnancy and mentoring for two years after they give birth.

We decided to keep it going.

Then one of our members died quite suddenly.  Such saddness.  But, because of Susie, people sent memorials to our little group of 25 women.  So, we have been able to give away over $1000 to help women and children.

We have no bank account.  We are not a not- for- profit.  We are simply a group of caring women who wish to help other women who find themselves in need.  Each month we will have at least $250 to give away.

Would you and your friends be willing to take the challenge of doing something so simple that has such impact on the lives of others in need?  Ten dollars a month goes a long way when it is put together with other ten dollars.  I can almost see the faces of those who receive.  Oh--we don't use our names.  We simply gift.  After all, it isn't about us.

We set up a private group on Facebook so we can communicate our thoughts.  We share our ideas for gifting on that site.

I have thrown this idea out there into the universe.  Please share with me if you decide to use this model to do good in your neighborhood.   What a blessing it has been for all of us.




Wednesday, November 12, 2014

Need a Renovation?

Need a Renovation?

Ever think you need a renovation?  Seems like everything in our world is renovated at least two or three times.  What was old becomes new again.  Or so they say.  I think it is a vicious cycle.  Those in control of the trendy colors, furniture, appliances and everything else that is part of a house know how to get into our pocketbooks.  First, they make us doubt.  We begin to  think about what could be more modern in our house.  It might begin by spending time in home decor magazines.  Doesn't take long for what we saw to become what we need.  At that point it is all over.

Our house needed so much work when we purchased it.  Over the years we have done a little here and a little there.  We have changed colors, changed flooring, changed windows, added to.  It actually would have been easier to buy a new home.  I do think about that.  A new home with large rooms.  What joy to have multiple seating areas.  Or to have a real dining room.  Or bedrooms that are spacious and gracious.

But, we are probably here for the long haul.  We love our little place in the country.  Warts and all.  Small rooms and all.  It is true.  We may have reached the end of renovations...

What about you and me?  Do we ever think we need a renovation?  Would a little tuck here and there make us better?  Bring us to a better place in life?  What about a face lift?  Would that  make us young again?  Would our new face match our hands or arms or neck?  Guess the neck can be done when the face is pulled tightly behind our ears.  What about boobs?  Are we sexy when our girls are lifted?

If I weren't so afraid of surgery, I might decide to pick a couple of those mentioned things and go for it. But the thought of surgery makes my blood run cold.  If changing yourelf makes you feel better, I say go for it.  I will watch you do it.  I will tell you how wonderful you look.  I will celebrate with you.  And then I will look in the mirror and sigh.  The wrinkles are getting deeper.  Bags are more difficult to camouflague.  Laugh lines outline my eyes.  Sigh...

Yes, I could use a renovation.  However, more important than the outward self is the inner self.  That is where the real work begins.  Prejudices that I know are just under the skin need to be cut away.  Criticism about things I don't understand or agree with has the power to take over my thoughts at times.  Those are just two of the projects I can take on at any time.  They are outdated.  They are not trendy.  Actually, I do work on those and others.  Just like my house, when I stand back and observe, I see areas that need a little lift.  Need to be updated.  Need to be replaced.  For me, that is where the real work lies.

Absolutely I will use creams.  I will cleanse.  I will moisturize.  I will use age fighting cosmetics.  Why not?  I do want to put my best face forward.  I love it when someone tells me I am aging well.  Even when they aren't wearing their glasses.

Renovation gives us the opportunity to make changes.  To rethink how we want something to look.
To update so that our life is enriched.  To take something worn and replace it with something new.  And just as our homes are never finished, neither are we.  We can always be better.  We can always make changes that draw people to us rather than repel them.  We can examine our lives with a critical eye and then use what we learned to give ourselves a fresh start.

It takes a plan.  First, we see what is.  Then, we decide what to do to make things better,  Finally, we do the work to make the change a reality.  After all the work, it is time to sit back and enjoy the new and improved--home and self.