Attending a Pity Party

Attending a Pity Party--

Feelings get in the way of reality.  We may know a certain thing for sure.  We don't doubt it at all, yet when feelings appear,  everything changes.

Ever gone to a pity party?  I imagine we  have all attended a few of these parties.  They aren't much fun.  Those in attendance usually carry tissues that are not for noses.  These tissues are for the rain that falls from the eyes.  It is possible to have a few upbeat moments during a pity party.  However, about the time one believes the worst is over,  the faucet is turned on and down the water flows.  While some people may enjoy a good pity party and cry, I don't like going there.

Going there is easy.  All it takes is a little disappointment, a bit of grief, a feeling that everything is working out for others but not for you, a sense of loneliness, feeling left out.  Take any of those and off you go.  Take them all--there aren't enough tissues in the world to handle the water.  Towels might be a better choice.

Leaving a pity party takes some effort.  It is in the mind that we first walk through the door and into the sunshine.  But, honestly, sometimes we simply need to cry it out.  Even if it takes all day.  Tears cleanse our souls.  With each tear a little of the hurt or whatever we title it, flows away.  Being brave and holding the tears in only causes them to flow longer and harder once they have their way.  Tears teach us that we are human, and that we cannot escape our humanity.  We must walk through it.

Talking about our feelings with someone who loves us is a good way to walk through them.  The person we pick must want to hear what we have to say.  They must not be judgemental at this point.  When we are stronger, we will be ready to hear what they think.  But not now.  Right now we need to be heard and understood.

Feelings are fickle things.  They lead us down the garden path.  They have the ability to change our mood.  If we stop and examine them, we might be able to see the error in our own thinking.  We might even be able to replace them with positive thoughts.  That takes work.  Often we simply go with them instead of examining them closely.  It is also possible that we see only one side of a challenge.  What we see makes us sad.  When we understand the other side,  those fickle feelings just might disappear.

Personally, I don't enjoy allowing my feelings to control me.  However, sometimes they do.  When that happens and the feelings are hurtful, there seems to be no way out of it but to go with them.  Allow the tears, cry out loud, get in the car and bawl.  Look in the mirror and cry more because the person looking back  looks terrible.  Talk out loud  about what is troubling.  Do whatever it takes to move beyond this point.  Walking into the pity party is one thing.  Staying there is another.