Wants and Needs

Wants and Needs--

Things.  We all need things.  We all need shelter, clothing, food.  Most of us need a vehicle.  We need jobs to provide us with the money to have those things.  We need time away from our jobs to keep us sane.  We need phones to stay connected to the world.  And the list continues.

Besides the essentials, what things do we really need?  That is a question I have given much thought to lately.  Exactly what do I  need to live a productive and happy life?  Is the accumulation of things the real meaning of life?  Is the  one who dies with the most things the most important?  Or could there be some middle ground between needs and wants?

Several years ago we had a house fire.  Everything had to leave the house.  Every item in the house was packed and sent away for cleaning.  Every closet, every cabinet, every everything was taken and packed into large boxes and put on a truck and hauled away.  Walking into our empty house was almost disorienting.  Where did we have all that stuff?

When all the cleaning was done, and it was time to move back into our house, all the boxes were brought back and placed in the basement.  They filled the room from floor to ceiling.  All those boxes were full of our clean stuff.  Now it was time for us to unpack them all and put things away.  I remember standing on the stairs looking at the sea of boxes wondering how we would ever get it done.

It was then that we decided that not everything would have a place in the house.  We would go through everything and keep only what we need and use.  It sounds easy.   One box for things to keep.  Another box for discards.  Well, one man's treasure is another man's junk.  We had difficulty making joint decisions about many things.  Everything had a memory.  We used this and that for certain events. Did we really want to get rid of it?  How important is it to have five sets of dishes?  Or four crock pots?  Do we really need three partial sets of old silverware?  And what about the extra skillets and pans that were on the shelves in the basement?  Not to mention all the extra towels--which I still have.  Who knows when we might have tons of company.

Our needs are really quite simple, aren't they?  It is when we mix in our wants with our needs that lines are crossed.  Sometimes the lines are so close we can't separate them.  I do believe that some people need many things to find happiness.  The more items they have, the more whole they feel.  Yet, the funny thing is this.  These folks never have enough.  No matter how many possessions they have, they can always squeeze one more thing into an already too full cabinet.  Their worth is found in the amount of things they have.  The interesting thing about this is the things actually control them.  I think we have all been in this place at least once or twice in our lives.   Having the fire was actually a blessing.  We were able to make some decisions about how much to keep and how much to let go.

There are still plenty of things in this house.  There are things that will never be used that our son will have to dispose of one of these days.  But, we want to make his job easier.  We want to live a simpler life.  It is not an easy thing to accomplish.  But we are making an effort.  Our new rule is when we bring one new thing into the house, two or three things have to go.

Honestly, what do we really need to live a full life?  I don't know what your answer might be.  Mine is really simple.  I need someone to share my life with.  I need friends to talk to when I am happy and when I am not.  I need a home that shelters me and provides a santuary from the world.  I need understanding.  I need faith to guide me.  I need discussions to make me think.  I need laughter and smiles and kindness. I need to be needed and loved.  I need to give myself away for the good of others. And I need a hairdresser who knows how to cut my hair!

Do you see the difference between needs and wants?  All the items in our house were just that-items.  What I need is intangible.  I cannot purchase love or friends or understanding or laughter.  I cannot find faith on a store shelf.  Smiles never go on sale at the hardware store.  All of these things are from the heart.  They speak of life itself.  They never go out of style.  They are forever new.

Yes, I need certain things.  Some of the things in my home have great meaning to me.  I treasure notes from friends and former students.  Family pictures are precious.   When I look around my house, I note all those things that have meaning.  But, the greatest meaning of all is the memories of family around the table playing a game or eating a meal.  Other wonderful memories are discussions with friends, sitting by the outdoor fireplace enjoying the evening, holiday celebrations.

And right now I need--yes, I really need--a diet coke!  Talk again soon.