A Frustrating Day--
Ever have a frustrating day? Of course you have. We all have those days when not much goes according to plan. Today I won the prize. The most frustrating day in awhile. It actually started four days ago.
Four days ago we realized we had no hot water. Not a real surprise as the hot water heater is 41 years old. I guess it simply got tired of doing the same boring job day after day after day. I know I certainly would.
We went to a store and purchased a new one. We knew it could not be installed due to the long holiday weekend. That was expected. The clerk told us we would be on the top of the list to have it installed Tuesday when the holiday weekend ended. Having a hot tub turned out to be a real blessing. At least we could sit in water! Washing hair in very cold water closes up those pores in the head. But the hair did get clean.
Tuesday arrived. The hot water heater would be installed early. Well, maybe not. Maybe mid-morning. Well, maybe not. Early afternoon? Well, maybe not. You get my drift. After a few phone calls that were not answered to our liking, we decided to return to the store and visit with the manager about the non-events of the day.
First, let me assure you, we were nice. More is accomplished with a touch of grace than with anger when things go so wrong. We took a timeline with us to share with the one in charge. We sat at a patio set. Our main challenge was the lack of communication. Phone calls not returned. Promises made that were not honored. The conversation took about twenty minutes.
The manager agreed with us that things had been handled badly. At the next meeting of all the associates communication would be addressed. We were thanked for bringing the events of the four days to her attention. She even took a sizable sum off the purchase price of the hot water heater. That came as a surprise as we had never given a thought to anything like that. Our purpose in the visit was to explain from a customer's point of view what had happened. We felt like we should do that face to face.
The hot water heater is to be installed in the morning. I will believe it when the plumber arrives and begins work.
It has been a frustrating few days. Other things added to the frustration. I won't bore you with the details.
Maybe it is the fact that one frustration piled up on another that made the day seem endless. Seems like when things begin to go south, everything makes the decision to jump on that wagon. Try as you might, the direction is already determined. You ain't stoppin it!
Tomorrow is a new day. A new beginning. Today's stuff will be a memory. I will have a blank page to fill with whatever I want. I am looking forward to that.
But, most of all I am looking forward to the return of a grateful spirit. This was nothing. Simply an inconvenience. So much to learn....
Tuesday, May 28, 2013
Sunday, May 26, 2013
This Day Calls Us
This Day Calls Us--
This day calls you and me. Do we recognize its call?
Calls come when we are listening, and when we are not. It is possible they interrupt our routine thus causing us to miss them. The volume might be turned down--that would be the volume in our heads. Perhaps the call is one that we do not recognize. We might choose to ignore a call we do not recognize.
It could be we recognize the call, but it holds no interest for us. We make the decision to wait for the next call that has a better chance of catching our imagination.
What are these calls? Well, they could be a thought. Suddenly our mind is flooded with a thought that won't go away. For instance, the thought might suggest a new direction. That happened to me once. Alone in my house, I heard a voice--a thought?--suggesting I call a radio station. I wrote about this in my book. (You can buy one to learn about that call!) The end result of that call led me into a new experience. And it was a wonderful experience. My choice to answer that call was one of the blessings of my life.
Maybe the call is to explore our own space. To see it with new eyes. To appreciate it. Most of us do not live in mansions. Perhaps there are areas of our space in dire need of repair. When I was teaching, I never really saw all the things that needed attention in our home. But, when summer arrived, I saw them. In fact, I saw those areas much more than I saw the good. All those areas within my space drove me to distraction until they were made right. An important call for me to answer is the call that urges me to paint a picture on the land around our home. Creating beauty with plants, trees and shrubs is a call that I cannot ignore. There is a peaceful feeling that covers my being when I discover a plant flowering, a wildflower blooming, new growth on shrubs.
How about the space inside our heads? Do we feel a call to understand others? Do we continue to grow in knowledge? Are we kind? Do we feel called to forgive even when it is the most difficult thing we have ever done? That space inside our head has great power. It can deceive us. Yes, it can. With what do we fill our head? Whatever that is, it will spill out into our daily lives.
It could be a nagging. This call has an urgency to it. It is attempting to get our attention. Maybe someone is sick, and we have felt a nagging to visit. We may have put that off--pushed it into the back of our minds because we really don't want to do that. Or maybe it is a chore we have ignored. We are very aware that it is waiting to be completed. Or maybe we are being called to touch base with someone who needs our call. What shall we do with that nagging?
Could it be the call is urging us to take better care of ourselves? This call is a reminder that we are making choices about our lives. What we eat, how often we exercise both our bodies and our minds. So many calls. I will think about the calls I hear in my life. I will think about the ones I respond to, and the ones I don't. I think that will tell me much about myself.
I hear sleep calling to me right now. I will answer!
This day calls you and me. Do we recognize its call?
Calls come when we are listening, and when we are not. It is possible they interrupt our routine thus causing us to miss them. The volume might be turned down--that would be the volume in our heads. Perhaps the call is one that we do not recognize. We might choose to ignore a call we do not recognize.
It could be we recognize the call, but it holds no interest for us. We make the decision to wait for the next call that has a better chance of catching our imagination.
What are these calls? Well, they could be a thought. Suddenly our mind is flooded with a thought that won't go away. For instance, the thought might suggest a new direction. That happened to me once. Alone in my house, I heard a voice--a thought?--suggesting I call a radio station. I wrote about this in my book. (You can buy one to learn about that call!) The end result of that call led me into a new experience. And it was a wonderful experience. My choice to answer that call was one of the blessings of my life.
Maybe the call is to explore our own space. To see it with new eyes. To appreciate it. Most of us do not live in mansions. Perhaps there are areas of our space in dire need of repair. When I was teaching, I never really saw all the things that needed attention in our home. But, when summer arrived, I saw them. In fact, I saw those areas much more than I saw the good. All those areas within my space drove me to distraction until they were made right. An important call for me to answer is the call that urges me to paint a picture on the land around our home. Creating beauty with plants, trees and shrubs is a call that I cannot ignore. There is a peaceful feeling that covers my being when I discover a plant flowering, a wildflower blooming, new growth on shrubs.
How about the space inside our heads? Do we feel a call to understand others? Do we continue to grow in knowledge? Are we kind? Do we feel called to forgive even when it is the most difficult thing we have ever done? That space inside our head has great power. It can deceive us. Yes, it can. With what do we fill our head? Whatever that is, it will spill out into our daily lives.
It could be a nagging. This call has an urgency to it. It is attempting to get our attention. Maybe someone is sick, and we have felt a nagging to visit. We may have put that off--pushed it into the back of our minds because we really don't want to do that. Or maybe it is a chore we have ignored. We are very aware that it is waiting to be completed. Or maybe we are being called to touch base with someone who needs our call. What shall we do with that nagging?
Could it be the call is urging us to take better care of ourselves? This call is a reminder that we are making choices about our lives. What we eat, how often we exercise both our bodies and our minds. So many calls. I will think about the calls I hear in my life. I will think about the ones I respond to, and the ones I don't. I think that will tell me much about myself.
I hear sleep calling to me right now. I will answer!
Friday, May 24, 2013
The Crosswalk
The Crosswalk--
An observation for parents and caregivers of children--
I was crossing a very busy walkway. Cars were everywhere. There were stop signs and a crosswalk urging vehicles to stop. To be careful and watchful of those crossing legally. Traffic was heavy. While I waited for cars to pass, I observed something quite interesting.
An adult woman and child approached the crosswalk. The adult asked this question.
"Can you hold my hand? I want you to be safe. Thank you."
The child reached for her hand, and together they safely navigated the crosswalk and entered the store.
Before I could cross, I observed another adult and child. This is what I heard.
"Give me your hand."
She reached for his hand, and he snatched it away. She reached again. His little body became rigid, and he again refused. She finally took his hand. They proceeded into the store.
Both adults were concerned for the safety of the child in their care. Both wanted to be certain that an accident did not occur. Yet, the way they approached the situation was so different.
The first adult brought the child into the situation and explained why she wanted to take his hand. She asked if she could help him. And then she thanked him for agreeing. This child offered his hand because he understood why she was asking for it. As they walked into the store, they were smiling and talking. Such a pleasant thing to observe.
The second adult issued a command. He wanted no part of the command. He became quite upset that she wanted to hold his hand. He probably thought he was old enough to watch for cars. Or maybe the tone of voice caused him to rebel. He did rebel. She was right in taking his hand even if he didn't offer it. Safely always wins. There was tension between them as they walked into the store. He tried to pull his hand away all the way to the store. I wondered if he would have reacted differently had she asked for his hand instead of demanded it.
This encounter caused me to think about how we talk to one another even as adults. Adults become defensive when issued a command. We want to be involved in the process. We want to agree to do something rather than be told. A smart boss knows this. They engage their employees. They value their opinions. There are times when orders must be given for the safety of everyone. Those times are the exception. A leader understands that giving others their voice means a much happier workplace.
Spouses, partners, children, co-workers, friends, family--we all respond to a kind tone. And as I write this, I am aware that I don't always use a kind tone. Especially at home. I think I have some work to do!
Be safe this weekend!
An observation for parents and caregivers of children--
I was crossing a very busy walkway. Cars were everywhere. There were stop signs and a crosswalk urging vehicles to stop. To be careful and watchful of those crossing legally. Traffic was heavy. While I waited for cars to pass, I observed something quite interesting.
An adult woman and child approached the crosswalk. The adult asked this question.
"Can you hold my hand? I want you to be safe. Thank you."
The child reached for her hand, and together they safely navigated the crosswalk and entered the store.
Before I could cross, I observed another adult and child. This is what I heard.
"Give me your hand."
She reached for his hand, and he snatched it away. She reached again. His little body became rigid, and he again refused. She finally took his hand. They proceeded into the store.
Both adults were concerned for the safety of the child in their care. Both wanted to be certain that an accident did not occur. Yet, the way they approached the situation was so different.
The first adult brought the child into the situation and explained why she wanted to take his hand. She asked if she could help him. And then she thanked him for agreeing. This child offered his hand because he understood why she was asking for it. As they walked into the store, they were smiling and talking. Such a pleasant thing to observe.
The second adult issued a command. He wanted no part of the command. He became quite upset that she wanted to hold his hand. He probably thought he was old enough to watch for cars. Or maybe the tone of voice caused him to rebel. He did rebel. She was right in taking his hand even if he didn't offer it. Safely always wins. There was tension between them as they walked into the store. He tried to pull his hand away all the way to the store. I wondered if he would have reacted differently had she asked for his hand instead of demanded it.
This encounter caused me to think about how we talk to one another even as adults. Adults become defensive when issued a command. We want to be involved in the process. We want to agree to do something rather than be told. A smart boss knows this. They engage their employees. They value their opinions. There are times when orders must be given for the safety of everyone. Those times are the exception. A leader understands that giving others their voice means a much happier workplace.
Spouses, partners, children, co-workers, friends, family--we all respond to a kind tone. And as I write this, I am aware that I don't always use a kind tone. Especially at home. I think I have some work to do!
Be safe this weekend!
Thursday, May 23, 2013
Spin Cycle of Life
Spin Cycle of Life--
Sometimes I feel I am "stuck in the spin cycle of life." That is a quote I read from a Kristen Hannah book. It hit a spot with me. Stuck in the spin cycle--going round and round with no particular destination.
Could it mean that we do the same things, talk to the same people, walk the same walk day after day after day? Is that a bad thing? When you read that phrase, does it sound an alarm in your life, or does it feel familiar and comfy?
The key word is "stuck." There are millions of folks who would probably share that they love their life. It brings them joy just as it is. There is no thought of switching anything around. There is a peace for them in knowing what to expect each day. The daily routine is broken only when an unexpected event arises. They would disagree with the notion that they are stuck in anything. I agree with them. If happiness and contentment comes from a regular routine with no surprises, then certainly they are not stuck.
Then there are those of us who constantly seek something different. It can be as simple as driving home a new way. Maybe even going out of our way in order to do that. Or rearranging the furniture. That simple think breathes new life into a room. Maybe moving art around or taking something from another room and finding a new location for it. We like a certain amount of routine that gets our chores done. Beyond that, we are constantly on the look-out for an adventure. That adventure might be meeting a friend for lunch in a totally new place, trying food we have never tried before. It doesn't mean we alter our lifestyle. It means a steady routine of the same things kills our creative juices.
I will confess that I don't want to be stuck in the spin cycle of life. This world we have been given has so much to offer. I want to see more and do more. Some of that seeing and doing will require a bit of travel. Some of it won't. Having new experiences stirs my spirit. I feel refreshed by new experiences. Often those experiences give me the shove I need to do the thing I never thought I could do.
Writing falls into that category. Many years ago I had a very unique experience. I listened and followed that listening. And in the process I mentioned that writing was very difficult. Expressing myself in a way that others would understand was agony. The reply was if it were easy, everyone would be doing it. I was told to keep communicating through writing. There is no doubt in my mind that what I share is not world shattering. But, if what I write touches one person, it is more than enough.
However, I get stuck in that spin cycle often. My computer, desk, lamp, paper--all the things I need to write--are setting waiting. And what do I do? Avoid. I wash a dish, fold a load of laundry, check emails, watch a tv program--anything to avoid the solitary task of writing. I simply go round and round. Because of that, days may pass before I force myself to sit down, place my fingers on the keys and begin. How freeing it is when I quiet my spirit and write. Writing takes me in new directions. I think about who might be reading and what their lives might be like. The spin cycle is turned off.
So, now that I have shared my spin cycle story, do you find yourself in one, also? Do you put off the very thing that will bring you the most pleasure because of--who knows what? What would it take for you to move toward it instead of away from it?
Spin, spin, spin. Stop.
Sometimes I feel I am "stuck in the spin cycle of life." That is a quote I read from a Kristen Hannah book. It hit a spot with me. Stuck in the spin cycle--going round and round with no particular destination.
Could it mean that we do the same things, talk to the same people, walk the same walk day after day after day? Is that a bad thing? When you read that phrase, does it sound an alarm in your life, or does it feel familiar and comfy?
The key word is "stuck." There are millions of folks who would probably share that they love their life. It brings them joy just as it is. There is no thought of switching anything around. There is a peace for them in knowing what to expect each day. The daily routine is broken only when an unexpected event arises. They would disagree with the notion that they are stuck in anything. I agree with them. If happiness and contentment comes from a regular routine with no surprises, then certainly they are not stuck.
Then there are those of us who constantly seek something different. It can be as simple as driving home a new way. Maybe even going out of our way in order to do that. Or rearranging the furniture. That simple think breathes new life into a room. Maybe moving art around or taking something from another room and finding a new location for it. We like a certain amount of routine that gets our chores done. Beyond that, we are constantly on the look-out for an adventure. That adventure might be meeting a friend for lunch in a totally new place, trying food we have never tried before. It doesn't mean we alter our lifestyle. It means a steady routine of the same things kills our creative juices.
I will confess that I don't want to be stuck in the spin cycle of life. This world we have been given has so much to offer. I want to see more and do more. Some of that seeing and doing will require a bit of travel. Some of it won't. Having new experiences stirs my spirit. I feel refreshed by new experiences. Often those experiences give me the shove I need to do the thing I never thought I could do.
Writing falls into that category. Many years ago I had a very unique experience. I listened and followed that listening. And in the process I mentioned that writing was very difficult. Expressing myself in a way that others would understand was agony. The reply was if it were easy, everyone would be doing it. I was told to keep communicating through writing. There is no doubt in my mind that what I share is not world shattering. But, if what I write touches one person, it is more than enough.
However, I get stuck in that spin cycle often. My computer, desk, lamp, paper--all the things I need to write--are setting waiting. And what do I do? Avoid. I wash a dish, fold a load of laundry, check emails, watch a tv program--anything to avoid the solitary task of writing. I simply go round and round. Because of that, days may pass before I force myself to sit down, place my fingers on the keys and begin. How freeing it is when I quiet my spirit and write. Writing takes me in new directions. I think about who might be reading and what their lives might be like. The spin cycle is turned off.
So, now that I have shared my spin cycle story, do you find yourself in one, also? Do you put off the very thing that will bring you the most pleasure because of--who knows what? What would it take for you to move toward it instead of away from it?
Spin, spin, spin. Stop.
Tuesday, May 21, 2013
Forever Changed
Forever Changed--
The day begins like all other days. Alarms sound. People hit the snooze button for that extra few winks. Birds welcome this day with lovely songs. It is a day like all others.
Parents rouse sleeping children. Time to get ready for school. Wash faces, brush teeth, comb through sleep tangled hair. Where are the shoes? What outfit? All books in the book bag? Time for a quick breakfast before we kiss goodbye. Toast, scrambled eggs, pancakes, juice, milk. Or maybe a bar of some sort.
Everything in place for another day at school and work. An ordinary day. Parents drop off kids at school. Remind them to have a wonderful day. To be sure they do their lessons well. Eat all the food on their plate at lunch. See you in a few hours.
A day like all others. Parents and those who watch after children hurry off to begin their own day. Coffee first. Maybe coffee from the service station or the drive-thru. Cell phone charged. Thinking about the work that they will start in a few minutes.
It all started so innocently. The usual morning. Cranky kids, forgotten items, hugs and kisses. Families being families.
Another plan is in motion. One that will forever alter the lives of those in this small town. Wind is meeting wind. Clouds are forming. A different type of day is about to be born. One that will damage people, places and possessions.
And then the alarm sounds. It is the alarm that means a tornado is coming. People understand this. They have experienced this before. Terror grips their souls as they attempt to make the best decisions that will mean they and their loved ones survive. Where to go for safety? Did the school move the students to safe places? Yes, of course they did. But parents must ask that question.
This massive force of destruction has its way with this town and its people. It has a mind of its own. It works its horror and then moves on. It has no feelings. It simply is. It formed and grew into a monster. No one could stop it.
Where are the neighbors? Where are the homes and businesses? And where are the children? Those precious children who followed the instructions that hopefully would keep them from harm. They went to the safest place in the school. They covered their heads. They were afraid. Teachers calmly talked with them. Assured them that they would be ok. It was the right thing to do.
If only. If only the storm had veered a bit into fields where no homes stood. If only there had been another opportunity to brush back the hair from the face. if only there had been time to look into those eyes once again. If onlys can go on forever.
People will start over. That is what we do. In the midst of complete devastation and loss, people will stand tall. They will take care of others as well as themselves. They will offer solace to those whose loss is beyond words. It will take time--so much time.
Be kind to one another. In an instant everything can be so different. What we know can become what we knew. Take the time even when you think you don't have it to give, to love others simply because they occupy this planet with us.
Blessings to you all.
The day begins like all other days. Alarms sound. People hit the snooze button for that extra few winks. Birds welcome this day with lovely songs. It is a day like all others.
Parents rouse sleeping children. Time to get ready for school. Wash faces, brush teeth, comb through sleep tangled hair. Where are the shoes? What outfit? All books in the book bag? Time for a quick breakfast before we kiss goodbye. Toast, scrambled eggs, pancakes, juice, milk. Or maybe a bar of some sort.
Everything in place for another day at school and work. An ordinary day. Parents drop off kids at school. Remind them to have a wonderful day. To be sure they do their lessons well. Eat all the food on their plate at lunch. See you in a few hours.
A day like all others. Parents and those who watch after children hurry off to begin their own day. Coffee first. Maybe coffee from the service station or the drive-thru. Cell phone charged. Thinking about the work that they will start in a few minutes.
It all started so innocently. The usual morning. Cranky kids, forgotten items, hugs and kisses. Families being families.
Another plan is in motion. One that will forever alter the lives of those in this small town. Wind is meeting wind. Clouds are forming. A different type of day is about to be born. One that will damage people, places and possessions.
And then the alarm sounds. It is the alarm that means a tornado is coming. People understand this. They have experienced this before. Terror grips their souls as they attempt to make the best decisions that will mean they and their loved ones survive. Where to go for safety? Did the school move the students to safe places? Yes, of course they did. But parents must ask that question.
This massive force of destruction has its way with this town and its people. It has a mind of its own. It works its horror and then moves on. It has no feelings. It simply is. It formed and grew into a monster. No one could stop it.
Where are the neighbors? Where are the homes and businesses? And where are the children? Those precious children who followed the instructions that hopefully would keep them from harm. They went to the safest place in the school. They covered their heads. They were afraid. Teachers calmly talked with them. Assured them that they would be ok. It was the right thing to do.
If only. If only the storm had veered a bit into fields where no homes stood. If only there had been another opportunity to brush back the hair from the face. if only there had been time to look into those eyes once again. If onlys can go on forever.
People will start over. That is what we do. In the midst of complete devastation and loss, people will stand tall. They will take care of others as well as themselves. They will offer solace to those whose loss is beyond words. It will take time--so much time.
Be kind to one another. In an instant everything can be so different. What we know can become what we knew. Take the time even when you think you don't have it to give, to love others simply because they occupy this planet with us.
Blessings to you all.
Sunday, May 19, 2013
How Important is Encouragement?
How Important is Encouragement?--
What do you think? How important is it to be encouraged? Can you remember a time when you were lifted by someone's words? Do you remember a moment when you gave encouragement to another?
Let's examine those questions. Let's begin with the importance of encouragement.
Educators work very hard. When I was teaching, it was not unusual for me to bring home an armload of work to read through. I wish I had documented all those evenings and weekends I spent bent over writings that had to be read. And only by me. My students expected and received comments on everything they turned in to be read. Even when the work was less than I wished, I felt it was my job to find something positive to write on each paper. If I forgot to do that, students would bring the paper to me and request a comment.
You see, they wanted to believe that what they produced had merit. There was a need to be validated by me as their teacher. There were certainly times when I had to look extra hard, but I knew that one comment might be the only positive one that day. How could I refuse them?
I fully understand that many educators do not agree with me on this. Doesn't matter to me. I have seen the eyes of students light up when they received something good. Repeated failure does not motivate. One day years ago there was a knock on my front door. When I opened it, there stood two of my former students. They were now in junior college. They had never been to my home. After inviting them in, we sat in the family room and visited about what they were doing now that they were out of high school. I will never forget why they decided to stop by.
They wanted to show me their grades. Their comment humbled me. They said that they wanted to share their accomplishment with me because they knew I would be pleased for them, and that I had cared about them. Bring on the tissues. Sitting in my family room were two young women who were trying to make something of their lives. And they wanted to share that with me. When they left, I sat in the room thinking about my time with them. I was reminded once more of the value of every human life.
I am not alone in this. Many educators have this experience. We know everyone has value. I always felt it was my job to help students find their value. Believe me, I could write books on this subject.
What about a time you needed encouragement? Was it long ago or yesterday?
Ever heard anyone say they were taken for granted? I understand that statement. Certainly I have felt used. Humans seem to be wired to need encouragement. We function at a much higher level when we are valued. If we believe that others don't appreciate the effort we are making or the job we are doing, we can become quite discouraged. We can talk to ourselves and try to pump ourselves up, but it isn't the same as having another person acknowledge us.
I am never totally put together. There is always one more thing I could do to finish the look. So, when someone actually tells me that I look great, I beam. Isn't that the silliest thing? Something so trivial would carry such a punch. Just that little encouragement stays with me forever. I remember the time and place. I remember the person. Yes, this is shallow. There are many other examples I could give. However, it makes the point that we need encouragement on all levels. Try giving an honest compliment to someone and watch their face. Should we not always be willing to lift another?
Courage lives in the middle of encouragement. Maybe that is the clue. Maybe it takes courage to find the good in another when our own need is great. I understand that. But, I find my greatest joy in reaching out to others. I tend to forget my own needs in the process of sharing life with them. Courage might mean I look another person in the eyes and tell them I admire their ability to create, or paint, or write, or care for others. We don't want to invade another's space so courage is needed to step toward another human in a meaningful way. Who knows. That very day maybe the day they need it they most.
It would be wonderful to be remembered as an encourager. I would love that. If I helped another reach a goal or believe in their ability to achieve their greatest dream, that would be enough for me. I will say this again--our time on this earth is so limited. We do not get do-overs. We get one shot. What if someone needs me to lift them, and I am too self-absorbed to see?
So, go forth this coming week and be that encourager to just one person. The checker at the grocery store, the teller at the bank, the co-worker who drives you insane, the husband/wife/partner who never thanks you for all you do to make their life work, the child who asks thousands of questions, the teen who thinks you are a dork--pick just one. Maybe start with the easy one which is not the teen!!:) Try giving away one tiny bit of encouragement this week. And then think about the reaction of the person receiving and your own reaction. Spend a little time contemplating how we could change the world by offering this to others.
Personally, I think you must be pretty great if you are reading this! Blessings.
What do you think? How important is it to be encouraged? Can you remember a time when you were lifted by someone's words? Do you remember a moment when you gave encouragement to another?
Let's examine those questions. Let's begin with the importance of encouragement.
Educators work very hard. When I was teaching, it was not unusual for me to bring home an armload of work to read through. I wish I had documented all those evenings and weekends I spent bent over writings that had to be read. And only by me. My students expected and received comments on everything they turned in to be read. Even when the work was less than I wished, I felt it was my job to find something positive to write on each paper. If I forgot to do that, students would bring the paper to me and request a comment.
You see, they wanted to believe that what they produced had merit. There was a need to be validated by me as their teacher. There were certainly times when I had to look extra hard, but I knew that one comment might be the only positive one that day. How could I refuse them?
I fully understand that many educators do not agree with me on this. Doesn't matter to me. I have seen the eyes of students light up when they received something good. Repeated failure does not motivate. One day years ago there was a knock on my front door. When I opened it, there stood two of my former students. They were now in junior college. They had never been to my home. After inviting them in, we sat in the family room and visited about what they were doing now that they were out of high school. I will never forget why they decided to stop by.
They wanted to show me their grades. Their comment humbled me. They said that they wanted to share their accomplishment with me because they knew I would be pleased for them, and that I had cared about them. Bring on the tissues. Sitting in my family room were two young women who were trying to make something of their lives. And they wanted to share that with me. When they left, I sat in the room thinking about my time with them. I was reminded once more of the value of every human life.
I am not alone in this. Many educators have this experience. We know everyone has value. I always felt it was my job to help students find their value. Believe me, I could write books on this subject.
What about a time you needed encouragement? Was it long ago or yesterday?
Ever heard anyone say they were taken for granted? I understand that statement. Certainly I have felt used. Humans seem to be wired to need encouragement. We function at a much higher level when we are valued. If we believe that others don't appreciate the effort we are making or the job we are doing, we can become quite discouraged. We can talk to ourselves and try to pump ourselves up, but it isn't the same as having another person acknowledge us.
I am never totally put together. There is always one more thing I could do to finish the look. So, when someone actually tells me that I look great, I beam. Isn't that the silliest thing? Something so trivial would carry such a punch. Just that little encouragement stays with me forever. I remember the time and place. I remember the person. Yes, this is shallow. There are many other examples I could give. However, it makes the point that we need encouragement on all levels. Try giving an honest compliment to someone and watch their face. Should we not always be willing to lift another?
Courage lives in the middle of encouragement. Maybe that is the clue. Maybe it takes courage to find the good in another when our own need is great. I understand that. But, I find my greatest joy in reaching out to others. I tend to forget my own needs in the process of sharing life with them. Courage might mean I look another person in the eyes and tell them I admire their ability to create, or paint, or write, or care for others. We don't want to invade another's space so courage is needed to step toward another human in a meaningful way. Who knows. That very day maybe the day they need it they most.
It would be wonderful to be remembered as an encourager. I would love that. If I helped another reach a goal or believe in their ability to achieve their greatest dream, that would be enough for me. I will say this again--our time on this earth is so limited. We do not get do-overs. We get one shot. What if someone needs me to lift them, and I am too self-absorbed to see?
So, go forth this coming week and be that encourager to just one person. The checker at the grocery store, the teller at the bank, the co-worker who drives you insane, the husband/wife/partner who never thanks you for all you do to make their life work, the child who asks thousands of questions, the teen who thinks you are a dork--pick just one. Maybe start with the easy one which is not the teen!!:) Try giving away one tiny bit of encouragement this week. And then think about the reaction of the person receiving and your own reaction. Spend a little time contemplating how we could change the world by offering this to others.
Personally, I think you must be pretty great if you are reading this! Blessings.
Friday, May 17, 2013
Moving Along with the Bathroom
Moving Along with the Bathroom--
Granite installed. Colors are perfect. Sink installed. Still no water. A waiting period of 24 hours while everything sets. Did someone forget to tell me that? Plumber said I am his first job Monday morning. I am grateful for that placement on his work list.
Seeing the vanity with its lovely top setting in the bathroom--me thinks the project will move along a bit faster than originally planned.
Step one almost done!
Enjoy the beautiful day.
Granite installed. Colors are perfect. Sink installed. Still no water. A waiting period of 24 hours while everything sets. Did someone forget to tell me that? Plumber said I am his first job Monday morning. I am grateful for that placement on his work list.
Seeing the vanity with its lovely top setting in the bathroom--me thinks the project will move along a bit faster than originally planned.
Step one almost done!
Enjoy the beautiful day.
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