$1600-Really?
I have a few watches. Some are funky. I even have a Mickey Mouse watch that is quite a few years old. I have a couple that are really cool. But there is a problem with them all. The face on each one has shrunk through the years. I am sure that is what has happened. There was a time when I could read the numbers or the dots or whatever on the face of each one. Well, that is not happening anymore. So, the watches must have gone through a change. That's all I can figure out.
Last week I decided it was time to purchase a new watch. One that I could be assured would not change sizes on me. I made sure of that and purchased one with a large face. It had a white background. It even had the date--but that was a little small. I decided on this particular watch after I tried on numerous others. I went from case to case trying to find one that looked like me. In case you are wondering what that look is, the best way to describe it is classy!:)
I wanted a two toned watch band. I tend to mix my metals. Never did understand the reasoning behind wearing only one type of metal. Having a gold and silver colored band was imperative. Well, that proved a challenge. It seems that the group in charge of watch bands decided that rose gold would be the color of choice. Who are these people, anyway? Who makes the decision about what we will wear? For that matter, who makes the decision about clothes and paint and cars? There are some powerful folks out there who have no clue what we really like. I quickly eliminated the rose gold. It maybe the "in" thing for some, but it is the "out" thing for me.
In one case I found the perfect watch. It was the right size. The band was two colored. The face was white, and it felt good on my arm. How exciting to find the right one. I told the salesperson that I would take it. She told me to follow her to the next register. Once there she brought out the box. The box itself was a work of art. She punched in some numbers on the register, and then told me the price.
Now, I am usually good at hiding surprise. I try to go with the flow. This time I am afraid I failed. The price she quoted was over $1600.00. Yes, that is right. It was over that amount. Trying to contain my alarm and not wishing to appear cheap, I told her I must have read the tag incorrectly. That is when I learned a new thing. The face was one price, and the band was another. She said this particular manufacturer wanted to give everyone a choice of which band to put on which face. So they are priced separately. My goodness. All I wanted was a watch. Not the down payment on a car.
A choice was involved. I could pay for it and walk out, or I could decline and look again. I chose the latter. Back to the cases. Found a watch for $135. It has gold(fake) trim around the white face and a silver colored mesh band. I liked it immediately. Back to the register. This time with a watch I could wear without having security with me at all times.
Out the door and on my way-I was pretty pleased with myself for my decision. While it would have been fun to have the other one, this one was just fine. However, my pleasure in my purchase was shortlived.
Within the next three or four days the watch fell off my arm seven times. Maybe more than seven but I stopped counting. So, today I took it back. The salesperson was very sorry. Did they have another one just like it that might stay on me? After looking they located one.
I left the store with the watch on my arm and the receipt and box in a bag just in case. Shopping is always an adventure. And a learning curve!
Monday, June 9, 2014
Thursday, June 5, 2014
Wants and Needs
Wants and Needs--
Things. We all need things. We all need shelter, clothing, food. Most of us need a vehicle. We need jobs to provide us with the money to have those things. We need time away from our jobs to keep us sane. We need phones to stay connected to the world. And the list continues.
Besides the essentials, what things do we really need? That is a question I have given much thought to lately. Exactly what do I need to live a productive and happy life? Is the accumulation of things the real meaning of life? Is the one who dies with the most things the most important? Or could there be some middle ground between needs and wants?
Several years ago we had a house fire. Everything had to leave the house. Every item in the house was packed and sent away for cleaning. Every closet, every cabinet, every everything was taken and packed into large boxes and put on a truck and hauled away. Walking into our empty house was almost disorienting. Where did we have all that stuff?
When all the cleaning was done, and it was time to move back into our house, all the boxes were brought back and placed in the basement. They filled the room from floor to ceiling. All those boxes were full of our clean stuff. Now it was time for us to unpack them all and put things away. I remember standing on the stairs looking at the sea of boxes wondering how we would ever get it done.
It was then that we decided that not everything would have a place in the house. We would go through everything and keep only what we need and use. It sounds easy. One box for things to keep. Another box for discards. Well, one man's treasure is another man's junk. We had difficulty making joint decisions about many things. Everything had a memory. We used this and that for certain events. Did we really want to get rid of it? How important is it to have five sets of dishes? Or four crock pots? Do we really need three partial sets of old silverware? And what about the extra skillets and pans that were on the shelves in the basement? Not to mention all the extra towels--which I still have. Who knows when we might have tons of company.
Our needs are really quite simple, aren't they? It is when we mix in our wants with our needs that lines are crossed. Sometimes the lines are so close we can't separate them. I do believe that some people need many things to find happiness. The more items they have, the more whole they feel. Yet, the funny thing is this. These folks never have enough. No matter how many possessions they have, they can always squeeze one more thing into an already too full cabinet. Their worth is found in the amount of things they have. The interesting thing about this is the things actually control them. I think we have all been in this place at least once or twice in our lives. Having the fire was actually a blessing. We were able to make some decisions about how much to keep and how much to let go.
There are still plenty of things in this house. There are things that will never be used that our son will have to dispose of one of these days. But, we want to make his job easier. We want to live a simpler life. It is not an easy thing to accomplish. But we are making an effort. Our new rule is when we bring one new thing into the house, two or three things have to go.
Honestly, what do we really need to live a full life? I don't know what your answer might be. Mine is really simple. I need someone to share my life with. I need friends to talk to when I am happy and when I am not. I need a home that shelters me and provides a santuary from the world. I need understanding. I need faith to guide me. I need discussions to make me think. I need laughter and smiles and kindness. I need to be needed and loved. I need to give myself away for the good of others. And I need a hairdresser who knows how to cut my hair!
Do you see the difference between needs and wants? All the items in our house were just that-items. What I need is intangible. I cannot purchase love or friends or understanding or laughter. I cannot find faith on a store shelf. Smiles never go on sale at the hardware store. All of these things are from the heart. They speak of life itself. They never go out of style. They are forever new.
Yes, I need certain things. Some of the things in my home have great meaning to me. I treasure notes from friends and former students. Family pictures are precious. When I look around my house, I note all those things that have meaning. But, the greatest meaning of all is the memories of family around the table playing a game or eating a meal. Other wonderful memories are discussions with friends, sitting by the outdoor fireplace enjoying the evening, holiday celebrations.
And right now I need--yes, I really need--a diet coke! Talk again soon.
Things. We all need things. We all need shelter, clothing, food. Most of us need a vehicle. We need jobs to provide us with the money to have those things. We need time away from our jobs to keep us sane. We need phones to stay connected to the world. And the list continues.
Besides the essentials, what things do we really need? That is a question I have given much thought to lately. Exactly what do I need to live a productive and happy life? Is the accumulation of things the real meaning of life? Is the one who dies with the most things the most important? Or could there be some middle ground between needs and wants?
Several years ago we had a house fire. Everything had to leave the house. Every item in the house was packed and sent away for cleaning. Every closet, every cabinet, every everything was taken and packed into large boxes and put on a truck and hauled away. Walking into our empty house was almost disorienting. Where did we have all that stuff?
When all the cleaning was done, and it was time to move back into our house, all the boxes were brought back and placed in the basement. They filled the room from floor to ceiling. All those boxes were full of our clean stuff. Now it was time for us to unpack them all and put things away. I remember standing on the stairs looking at the sea of boxes wondering how we would ever get it done.
It was then that we decided that not everything would have a place in the house. We would go through everything and keep only what we need and use. It sounds easy. One box for things to keep. Another box for discards. Well, one man's treasure is another man's junk. We had difficulty making joint decisions about many things. Everything had a memory. We used this and that for certain events. Did we really want to get rid of it? How important is it to have five sets of dishes? Or four crock pots? Do we really need three partial sets of old silverware? And what about the extra skillets and pans that were on the shelves in the basement? Not to mention all the extra towels--which I still have. Who knows when we might have tons of company.
Our needs are really quite simple, aren't they? It is when we mix in our wants with our needs that lines are crossed. Sometimes the lines are so close we can't separate them. I do believe that some people need many things to find happiness. The more items they have, the more whole they feel. Yet, the funny thing is this. These folks never have enough. No matter how many possessions they have, they can always squeeze one more thing into an already too full cabinet. Their worth is found in the amount of things they have. The interesting thing about this is the things actually control them. I think we have all been in this place at least once or twice in our lives. Having the fire was actually a blessing. We were able to make some decisions about how much to keep and how much to let go.
There are still plenty of things in this house. There are things that will never be used that our son will have to dispose of one of these days. But, we want to make his job easier. We want to live a simpler life. It is not an easy thing to accomplish. But we are making an effort. Our new rule is when we bring one new thing into the house, two or three things have to go.
Honestly, what do we really need to live a full life? I don't know what your answer might be. Mine is really simple. I need someone to share my life with. I need friends to talk to when I am happy and when I am not. I need a home that shelters me and provides a santuary from the world. I need understanding. I need faith to guide me. I need discussions to make me think. I need laughter and smiles and kindness. I need to be needed and loved. I need to give myself away for the good of others. And I need a hairdresser who knows how to cut my hair!
Do you see the difference between needs and wants? All the items in our house were just that-items. What I need is intangible. I cannot purchase love or friends or understanding or laughter. I cannot find faith on a store shelf. Smiles never go on sale at the hardware store. All of these things are from the heart. They speak of life itself. They never go out of style. They are forever new.
Yes, I need certain things. Some of the things in my home have great meaning to me. I treasure notes from friends and former students. Family pictures are precious. When I look around my house, I note all those things that have meaning. But, the greatest meaning of all is the memories of family around the table playing a game or eating a meal. Other wonderful memories are discussions with friends, sitting by the outdoor fireplace enjoying the evening, holiday celebrations.
And right now I need--yes, I really need--a diet coke! Talk again soon.
Tuesday, June 3, 2014
A Beautiful Lesson
A Beautiful Lesson--
I remember the day well. It was sunny and warm. I was enjoying one of my favorite places on this earth. I was enjoying a walk on the beach along the Oregon coast.
As I walked, I listened and watched the waves crash onto the shore. Some waves broke way out in the sea. Others were swells until they almost kissed the dry sand. Some were high and authorative. Others were gentle and quiet. Sprays of water laughed in the air above the surface. Bubbles formed where the water and sand met.
It was beautiful. It showed strength. Yet it was vulnerable. It was always changing. I stood and marveled at the lesson I was being taught. It was not a lesson I expected. In fact, I expected no lesson at all. Yet, there it was. The lesson I needed to learn. This walk was about peace. It was about breathing in nature and breathing out love. Lessons come when we least expect them.
I was able to receive the lesson because my mind and spirit was in a receiving mode. My mind was not racing with concerns. It was calm and open. Everything about me was peaceful. Because of that, I was able to be open to the voice, the Spirit, that was trying to reach me. Being calm is one of the most beautiful emotions yet it can be so difficult to attain. Lives are pulled and pushed. Sometimes they crash on the shore. No peace. No quiet.
So, I was grateful for the moments of silence. I was grateful for the opportunity to be in this beautiful place by myself. Had others been with me, I would have felt a need to communicate-to be present with them. I do enjoy sharing special places with those I love. But, sometimes I need the quiet to hear. I need the silence to know. To be refreshed. To move forward.
I remember telling myself to listen well, to soak up the sounds and smells. To store the memory away to be taken out when it was needed. I always tell myself that. The truth is I know it is not possible to do that. My memory will be much duller than the actual experience. The vivid colors of the sky and water will fade away. The sounds of the sea will disappear. The smell of the salt air will dissolve. When it is all gone, I know it is time to make that trip again. It is time to lose myself in the beauty and peace of that which fills my soul.
I will go to the sea again. I will walk along the water's edge. And my heart will be full.
I remember the day well. It was sunny and warm. I was enjoying one of my favorite places on this earth. I was enjoying a walk on the beach along the Oregon coast.
As I walked, I listened and watched the waves crash onto the shore. Some waves broke way out in the sea. Others were swells until they almost kissed the dry sand. Some were high and authorative. Others were gentle and quiet. Sprays of water laughed in the air above the surface. Bubbles formed where the water and sand met.
It was beautiful. It showed strength. Yet it was vulnerable. It was always changing. I stood and marveled at the lesson I was being taught. It was not a lesson I expected. In fact, I expected no lesson at all. Yet, there it was. The lesson I needed to learn. This walk was about peace. It was about breathing in nature and breathing out love. Lessons come when we least expect them.
I was able to receive the lesson because my mind and spirit was in a receiving mode. My mind was not racing with concerns. It was calm and open. Everything about me was peaceful. Because of that, I was able to be open to the voice, the Spirit, that was trying to reach me. Being calm is one of the most beautiful emotions yet it can be so difficult to attain. Lives are pulled and pushed. Sometimes they crash on the shore. No peace. No quiet.
So, I was grateful for the moments of silence. I was grateful for the opportunity to be in this beautiful place by myself. Had others been with me, I would have felt a need to communicate-to be present with them. I do enjoy sharing special places with those I love. But, sometimes I need the quiet to hear. I need the silence to know. To be refreshed. To move forward.
I remember telling myself to listen well, to soak up the sounds and smells. To store the memory away to be taken out when it was needed. I always tell myself that. The truth is I know it is not possible to do that. My memory will be much duller than the actual experience. The vivid colors of the sky and water will fade away. The sounds of the sea will disappear. The smell of the salt air will dissolve. When it is all gone, I know it is time to make that trip again. It is time to lose myself in the beauty and peace of that which fills my soul.
I will go to the sea again. I will walk along the water's edge. And my heart will be full.
Going the Extra Mile
Going the Extra Mile--
I read something on the internet that has real merit. Let me share.
Go the extra mile. It's never crowded.
Oh my. Isn't that beautiful? What truth is contained in those simple words. Short sentences often make the most impact. Those two certainly do.
Many people go the extra mile. Many volunteer and perform valuable services for the good of others. Some of those services involve volunteering at schools, hospitals, nursing homes. When the holidays come around, some collect money for toys and food. The list of ways people go the extra mile is almost endless. Isn't that wonderful?
The second sentence says so much. That extra mile is never crowded. To me it says that often we will do the easy part of the mile. Maybe the first quarter of it. We might ever struggle with half- way through. By the time we get to the half- way point, we are tired. We probably remember that we have done more than many others. Besides, there are others who have already passed us on the way. They have more time, more money, more energy. So about half- way through, we change directions. Is this a bad thing? No, not at all.
Each of us doing what we can do makes a big difference in this world. It takes all of us doing whatever part we can to make things better for others. Sometimes I go the quarter mile. Sometimes I go a little further. And there are times when I don't get on the track at all. Sometimes I encourage others who are running. There is no way I can help with everything. I get to make the decision about what is right for me. When everyone does this, the most good is accomplished.
Going the extra mile can mean many things. It might mean we listen to a friend who needs to be heard. It might mean we take a batch of cookies to someone who is sick. Or we might send a card letting another one know they are thought of. Honestly, the list is never ending. The thing is you and I know who needs these things from us. It is up to us to move when we know. It is up to us to leave the crowd behind and be the one someone needs.
Just a little something to think about.
I read something on the internet that has real merit. Let me share.
Go the extra mile. It's never crowded.
Oh my. Isn't that beautiful? What truth is contained in those simple words. Short sentences often make the most impact. Those two certainly do.
Many people go the extra mile. Many volunteer and perform valuable services for the good of others. Some of those services involve volunteering at schools, hospitals, nursing homes. When the holidays come around, some collect money for toys and food. The list of ways people go the extra mile is almost endless. Isn't that wonderful?
The second sentence says so much. That extra mile is never crowded. To me it says that often we will do the easy part of the mile. Maybe the first quarter of it. We might ever struggle with half- way through. By the time we get to the half- way point, we are tired. We probably remember that we have done more than many others. Besides, there are others who have already passed us on the way. They have more time, more money, more energy. So about half- way through, we change directions. Is this a bad thing? No, not at all.
Each of us doing what we can do makes a big difference in this world. It takes all of us doing whatever part we can to make things better for others. Sometimes I go the quarter mile. Sometimes I go a little further. And there are times when I don't get on the track at all. Sometimes I encourage others who are running. There is no way I can help with everything. I get to make the decision about what is right for me. When everyone does this, the most good is accomplished.
Going the extra mile can mean many things. It might mean we listen to a friend who needs to be heard. It might mean we take a batch of cookies to someone who is sick. Or we might send a card letting another one know they are thought of. Honestly, the list is never ending. The thing is you and I know who needs these things from us. It is up to us to move when we know. It is up to us to leave the crowd behind and be the one someone needs.
Just a little something to think about.
Final Thoughts on Relationships
Final Thoughts on Relationships--
Bottom line about relationships is this. We can gather something from them all.
It is possible to learn from even the worst relationships. Those that are difficult teach us to spend time enjoying our lives. They remind us that we have choice. We get to decide who enters our space. And even though we may allow someone to walk through the door of our lives, should that turn out to be a little less than we want, we can close that same door. It is wise to do it kindly. No slams. Just a quiet and gentle closing of the door. Relationships that cause anxiety affect our entire being. They cause us worry and pain. We spend time trying to figure out why things went south. Sometimes things simply don't work out as we hoped or planned. When that occurs, it is best to let go and move on.
Then there are those who stay. They laugh with us. They share life with us. We hang out together in coffee shops and work through life challenges. We talk about nothing. And it is fun. We walk through the difficult times of life together. Our radar is up for any ways we can help one another. We value time spent together. We talk about memories and laugh about the silly things we have done together. These are the people we grow old with. They are family.
When a relationship ends, time is needed to work through all the emotions that flood our lives. If that has happened to you, allow the grief to work its way out of your heart. This may take time. But, as each day passes, the pain will grow less and the anticipation of something new and better will begin to take seed in your life. I love it that there are so many new people to know. Who knows when a person will appear and bring newness to your life!
Relationships are tricky things. Left alone they slowly disappear from view. And one day we realize that we have failed to nuture something so important to us. It is never too late to call, email, write, visit. It is never too late to tell that person that they are missed. It is never too late to say you are sorry for not tending the friendship.
We are designed to be in relationships. Everyone needs love and care. Everyone needs to know that they are valued. Everyone needs to receive a hug everyday and to give one in return. Our kitchen is a galley kitchen. You walk through it to get everywhere in our house. When our son was still at home, I would tell him that any boy who walked through my kitchen got a hug. He would laugh and try to run through the kitchen. I always caught him. I would hug on him, and we would laugh. I do that with my grandchildren sometimes. Such a simple thing to let others know they are loved. Why do we withhold that affection that we all need? I do not have an answer to that. But what I do know is everyone needs to know they are special to someone. Nothing takes the place of the human touch.
Each person who enters our life brings something new to us. Not everyone will be a match with us. But everyone can teach us a little about ourselves. Bottom line is this. Take good care of those relationships that are important to you. Tell those special people that you are glad to share life with them. Show a little affection. The world is difficult enough. We need a place of comfort and support. We find that in our primary relationships.
I have said it before. I will say it again. Life is short. Don't waste time on things that have no meaning. Instead spend more time realizing that love is the greatest gift. Give that gift with gusto!
Bottom line about relationships is this. We can gather something from them all.
It is possible to learn from even the worst relationships. Those that are difficult teach us to spend time enjoying our lives. They remind us that we have choice. We get to decide who enters our space. And even though we may allow someone to walk through the door of our lives, should that turn out to be a little less than we want, we can close that same door. It is wise to do it kindly. No slams. Just a quiet and gentle closing of the door. Relationships that cause anxiety affect our entire being. They cause us worry and pain. We spend time trying to figure out why things went south. Sometimes things simply don't work out as we hoped or planned. When that occurs, it is best to let go and move on.
Then there are those who stay. They laugh with us. They share life with us. We hang out together in coffee shops and work through life challenges. We talk about nothing. And it is fun. We walk through the difficult times of life together. Our radar is up for any ways we can help one another. We value time spent together. We talk about memories and laugh about the silly things we have done together. These are the people we grow old with. They are family.
When a relationship ends, time is needed to work through all the emotions that flood our lives. If that has happened to you, allow the grief to work its way out of your heart. This may take time. But, as each day passes, the pain will grow less and the anticipation of something new and better will begin to take seed in your life. I love it that there are so many new people to know. Who knows when a person will appear and bring newness to your life!
Relationships are tricky things. Left alone they slowly disappear from view. And one day we realize that we have failed to nuture something so important to us. It is never too late to call, email, write, visit. It is never too late to tell that person that they are missed. It is never too late to say you are sorry for not tending the friendship.
We are designed to be in relationships. Everyone needs love and care. Everyone needs to know that they are valued. Everyone needs to receive a hug everyday and to give one in return. Our kitchen is a galley kitchen. You walk through it to get everywhere in our house. When our son was still at home, I would tell him that any boy who walked through my kitchen got a hug. He would laugh and try to run through the kitchen. I always caught him. I would hug on him, and we would laugh. I do that with my grandchildren sometimes. Such a simple thing to let others know they are loved. Why do we withhold that affection that we all need? I do not have an answer to that. But what I do know is everyone needs to know they are special to someone. Nothing takes the place of the human touch.
Each person who enters our life brings something new to us. Not everyone will be a match with us. But everyone can teach us a little about ourselves. Bottom line is this. Take good care of those relationships that are important to you. Tell those special people that you are glad to share life with them. Show a little affection. The world is difficult enough. We need a place of comfort and support. We find that in our primary relationships.
I have said it before. I will say it again. Life is short. Don't waste time on things that have no meaning. Instead spend more time realizing that love is the greatest gift. Give that gift with gusto!
Monday, June 2, 2014
Relationships--Again!
Relationships--Again!
Continuing the discussion about relationships.
I ended the last post with the statement that it is okay to excel and have others and ourselves recognize it. Let's think of it this way.
You are on the tennis court. It is a beautiful day. You feel good. You've been holding your own with your tennis buddy but struggling with your shots. All at once your racquet meets the ball right on the sweet spot, and you both recognize it. You are all smiles. Your partner smiles in acknowledgment. There is no competition. Just pure joy for you. You feel good from the inside out, and your tennis buddy knows that feeling. It is a great mement when you excel and others recognize it. Feels wonderful. If you aren't a tennis player, insert your sport in this example.
Back to my story. After examining all the possibilities, I agreed to the nomination process. It involved much from me. Tons of reflective thinking and writing. It was quite a challenge. It gave me the opportunity to self evaluate. That is not a bad exercise to engage in.
Let's fast forward several months. I was honored to be named one of 12 teachers across the state from which the Teacher of the Year would be selected. No one could have prepared me for that. It brought media attention that was new for me. During the entire process I was so aware of all the other teachers who work hard at their job, and who could have been receiving this attention. It was humbling.
Well, someone else was named top teacher. I was so pleased for her. It was all so good.
What did I learn from this experience? I learned to accept myself-my strengths as well as my weaknesses. I learned to acknowledge my challenges but not dwell on them. I learned that most people prefer to be around those who see the half full glass. I learned that we all make choices, and sometimes we allow others to take away our joy. When I recognized this, I wondered why we give our power over to others.
I learned that recognizing the accomplishments of others makes me very happy. We all share space on this beautiful ball. We all strive to do the best we can at whatever we select to do with our lives. Most importantly, I learned that we are better together than we are alone.
Still not finished with relationships. More later. Stay tuned!
Continuing the discussion about relationships.
I ended the last post with the statement that it is okay to excel and have others and ourselves recognize it. Let's think of it this way.
You are on the tennis court. It is a beautiful day. You feel good. You've been holding your own with your tennis buddy but struggling with your shots. All at once your racquet meets the ball right on the sweet spot, and you both recognize it. You are all smiles. Your partner smiles in acknowledgment. There is no competition. Just pure joy for you. You feel good from the inside out, and your tennis buddy knows that feeling. It is a great mement when you excel and others recognize it. Feels wonderful. If you aren't a tennis player, insert your sport in this example.
Back to my story. After examining all the possibilities, I agreed to the nomination process. It involved much from me. Tons of reflective thinking and writing. It was quite a challenge. It gave me the opportunity to self evaluate. That is not a bad exercise to engage in.
Let's fast forward several months. I was honored to be named one of 12 teachers across the state from which the Teacher of the Year would be selected. No one could have prepared me for that. It brought media attention that was new for me. During the entire process I was so aware of all the other teachers who work hard at their job, and who could have been receiving this attention. It was humbling.
Well, someone else was named top teacher. I was so pleased for her. It was all so good.
What did I learn from this experience? I learned to accept myself-my strengths as well as my weaknesses. I learned to acknowledge my challenges but not dwell on them. I learned that most people prefer to be around those who see the half full glass. I learned that we all make choices, and sometimes we allow others to take away our joy. When I recognized this, I wondered why we give our power over to others.
I learned that recognizing the accomplishments of others makes me very happy. We all share space on this beautiful ball. We all strive to do the best we can at whatever we select to do with our lives. Most importantly, I learned that we are better together than we are alone.
Still not finished with relationships. More later. Stay tuned!
Relationships-A Little More
Relationships-A Little More
A little more about relationships this morning.
Yesterday was a very special day. My husband and I celebrated forty-nine years together. Looking back I see two young people who had no idea where life experiences would take them. We set our own course which was very different from the course most of the people we knew set. That is what it is all about, isn't it? Taking the chance that something different is actually good and right. The years have gone by so quickly. And here we are almost ready to hit the big celebration. In this relationship we are both winners. We have had our differences--sometimes quite loudly! But, this relationship has been the source of such love and joy.
Following up on the last post--Not everyone has a web of support that celebrates success and allows failure. Too many times our success is measured against another's expectations. In this way of doing things there are few winners. Someone is holding the measuring stick. Healthy relationships celebrate the "who" that we are.
Let's look at the ability to celebrate success and allow for failure.
It is not an easy thing for us to celebrate our own success, is it? Why do you think we behave in this way?
Perhaps we don't want others to think we value ourselves too highly. We want to fit in and not rock any boats. We know that any recognition we receive makes others uncomfortable-especially in the work place. We try to blend in for the sake of having others accept us.
Sad, isn't it? When I think of people who take the chance to recognize their own self worth, I realize what that must have cost them. Maybe friendships, jobs, elections. But, they are ahead of us. They know they are capable, and they take the chance of being rejected. I admire them. I want to join their ranks. These people have the same self-doubts as all of us, but they have learned how to deal with them. They see the big picture. They know they can make a difference.
Maybe you can find yourself in the personal story I am about to share.
Years ago I was asked to participate in a program called "Those Who Excel." This program recognizes teachers who, according to their administrators, do a good job with students. I had to agree to the nomination process. One part of me was so honored to know I was valued by my administrators. It gave my view of myself a boost.
The other part of me was concerned about the reaction of my co-teachers. I felt sure there would be discussions about the choice. I knew some would celebrate with me, and others would smile yet certainly not agree with the choice. That is when doubt began to creep into my view of myself. Who was I, anyway, to believe that maybe I did deserve this recognition?
It's true, isn't it? No one teaches us how to accept our own successes. However, we certainly learned early in life to downplay our strengths for the sake of making everyone else comfortable.
Once we are recognized for an accomplishment, we are immediately thrown into competition with others. Sometimes we wish it had never happened. What should bring us joy causes us pain. Through that experience I learned so much about myself and others. I learned that I could be proud of my work as an educator while at the same time realizing that my learning and improving would never end.
It is okay to excel and have others and ourselves recognize it. Yes, it is okay to excel and have others and ourselves recognize it.
It is time for me to meet a friend. My story continues. I think it parallels many stories. More later on this journey of understanding relationships.
A little more about relationships this morning.
Yesterday was a very special day. My husband and I celebrated forty-nine years together. Looking back I see two young people who had no idea where life experiences would take them. We set our own course which was very different from the course most of the people we knew set. That is what it is all about, isn't it? Taking the chance that something different is actually good and right. The years have gone by so quickly. And here we are almost ready to hit the big celebration. In this relationship we are both winners. We have had our differences--sometimes quite loudly! But, this relationship has been the source of such love and joy.
Following up on the last post--Not everyone has a web of support that celebrates success and allows failure. Too many times our success is measured against another's expectations. In this way of doing things there are few winners. Someone is holding the measuring stick. Healthy relationships celebrate the "who" that we are.
Let's look at the ability to celebrate success and allow for failure.
It is not an easy thing for us to celebrate our own success, is it? Why do you think we behave in this way?
Perhaps we don't want others to think we value ourselves too highly. We want to fit in and not rock any boats. We know that any recognition we receive makes others uncomfortable-especially in the work place. We try to blend in for the sake of having others accept us.
Sad, isn't it? When I think of people who take the chance to recognize their own self worth, I realize what that must have cost them. Maybe friendships, jobs, elections. But, they are ahead of us. They know they are capable, and they take the chance of being rejected. I admire them. I want to join their ranks. These people have the same self-doubts as all of us, but they have learned how to deal with them. They see the big picture. They know they can make a difference.
Maybe you can find yourself in the personal story I am about to share.
Years ago I was asked to participate in a program called "Those Who Excel." This program recognizes teachers who, according to their administrators, do a good job with students. I had to agree to the nomination process. One part of me was so honored to know I was valued by my administrators. It gave my view of myself a boost.
The other part of me was concerned about the reaction of my co-teachers. I felt sure there would be discussions about the choice. I knew some would celebrate with me, and others would smile yet certainly not agree with the choice. That is when doubt began to creep into my view of myself. Who was I, anyway, to believe that maybe I did deserve this recognition?
It's true, isn't it? No one teaches us how to accept our own successes. However, we certainly learned early in life to downplay our strengths for the sake of making everyone else comfortable.
Once we are recognized for an accomplishment, we are immediately thrown into competition with others. Sometimes we wish it had never happened. What should bring us joy causes us pain. Through that experience I learned so much about myself and others. I learned that I could be proud of my work as an educator while at the same time realizing that my learning and improving would never end.
It is okay to excel and have others and ourselves recognize it. Yes, it is okay to excel and have others and ourselves recognize it.
It is time for me to meet a friend. My story continues. I think it parallels many stories. More later on this journey of understanding relationships.
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