Is Quitting Ever Acceptable?

Is Quitting Ever Acceptable?

Somewhere along the years of my life, I was taught that once I began something, there was an expectation to finish.  If I took piano lessons, I was expected to practice everyday so that I would become proficient.  If I accepted a job, I was expected to work with a happy spirit.  If I took a particular class, I was expected to complete it with an acceptable grade.  There was never any question about walking away or changing my mind.  In the back of my mind was the fear that I would be called a quitter, and that was truly terrible.

For years that belief stayed close to the surface of my life.  If I joined a group and later found it not my thing, I would stay with it even though I was miserable.  Who wants to be labeled a quitter?  Who wants to appear unreliable?  Not me.  Those early lessons were so firmly a part of me that I could not see that  it might be completely acceptable to back away from a commitment if it became apparent it was not the right thing for me.

Know how a light can be on a dimmer which takes the light from a dim, sexy glow to full bright?  Know how that bright light illuminates the entire room?  Know how your feelings change when that light is bright?  Well, one day that light switch that was part of me moved from dim to bright.  Oh my gosh.  Everything looked so different.  What had been difficult to truly see in the dim now was easy to discern.

For the first time I knew I could leave something and feel fine about it.  I realized that while something was good, there was a better or best waiting for me.  And I also realized that remaining meant I was taking a space that someone else might truly enjoy.  It was a win/win.

Over the years I have learned to examine carefully all opportunities and select only those that use my talents and skills and hold my interest.  That is not a selfish thing at all.  It is an honest way to make decisions that provide the most benefit to everyone involved.  It eliminates the need to resign.  It means I made the wisest decisions based on all the information I could glean.  It also means that I serve others with real joy.  In the past it is entirely possible that I faked the joy that I wished I felt.  With this new insight, the joy has been real.  What a tremendous difference that makes.

While I think it is wise to teach young people to "stick it out," I also believe that there are times when quitting is the best option.  Not every decision is the best one.  We need to help young people develop a skill set for decision making that includes the option to resign should it be harmful to them.  And we need to utilize that skill set for ourselves as adults.  Sure, we can probably do anything that presents itself to us, but do we really have a passion for it?  Without that passion, it is possible that we will come to resent the decision we made.

Life is much sweeter when we live it participating in those activities that bring the most happiness and peace.  Life is way too short to believe that we have to do what others wish us to do.  We must have the courage to say no in a kind and caring manner, and then go about growing our lives to the absolute best they can be.