Should I Let It Ring?

Should I Let It Ring?

The greatest gift you can give to anyone is your undivided attention and care.

Recently I met with a friend at a coffee house.  We had not seen one another for a few months.  I was eager to listen to her stories.   That is what life is.  I series of stories.  We each have them.  Sometimes we like others' stories because we believe our own are boring.  We must not fall into the trap of believing that.  Each person's stories are unique to them.  From those life stories come wisdom(!) and insight.  Often the greatest thoughts come when we are engaging in very mundane things.  I know.  Occasionally, I receive a thought for a page in my new book or for this blog when I am sweeping the patio or folding laundry.  So, never think that your stories are not significant.  They are the fabric of your life.  And they are worthy.

My cell phone was nestled in the outside pocket of my orange purse.  Any purse I buy must have that outside pocket for the phone.  I refuse to reach into the bowels of my bag in search of a ringing phone.  I checked the phone for messages or texts right before she joined me.  Everything was nice and quiet.  As we settled into our yummy drinks, I heard the phone ringing.  What to do?  Should I let it ring?  Should I answer it?  Since my husband is away for a few days, I told my friend that I was going to check to see who was calling.  She very kindly told me to answer it.  She didn't mind.

I took a quick peek.  It was not my husband so I didn't  answer it.  Her look told me she really did not mind if I took the call.  But, I have rules about that sort of thing.  Unless I am expecting a very important call that requires immediate attention, I do not answer while I am visiting with others.  To me it is very rude to interrupt a conversation to engage in another one.

She was worthy of my full attention.  I realize I am not the most important person in her life.  I am a person on the fringe of her experience.  However, I want her to know that I value what she has to say.  I want to establish eye contact and listen with all of me.  If I take time to answer a call, my mind will wander from the person sitting in front of me to what the caller had to say.  Sitting in front of me was a person I value.  I wanted her to know that. By refusing to take the call, I was letting her know that our time together was valuable to me.

My cell phone is my life.  It contains all my communications with family and friends.  I can check emails and facebook with it.  I can pay bills.  I can make reservations.  The list is truly endless.  I love it.  I feel undressed without it.  It is my constant companion.  But, it is only a tool.  It is not a person.  It does not care when I am down and need a shoulder.  It does not cheer me up or comfort me.  It is a thing.

So, when I have the wonderful opportunity to visit with a friend, that instrument shall remain put away. I shall fully engage with whoever is sitting across the table from me.  And when we are finished with our visit, I will grab that thing and see who called!