Questions

Questions--


Even if we live to be 100, life is short.

Honestly, I never thought much about being old until I arrived at that point in life.  And now I think about the years I have lived.  Questions flood my mind.

Did I love people enough?  Was I present when others needed me?   Did I listen more and talk less?  Was I caring?  When others needed help, did I offer?  Did I tell those I love dearly how much they mean to me?  Did I say thank you often?  Could others count on me to keep my word?

What if we posted these and other questions where we could read them everyday?  What if we took one of the questions and made that our goal for a day or a week?  What if after that week, we added another question?  And so on until all the questions were assigned their own place in our lives.  Concentrating on one question at a time could bring such positive energy into our lives.   After we completed the original questions, would we see a change in ourselves and the way we view the world and others?  Would others see a change in us?

We all have habits we can adjust.  We all have attitudes that might need a little tweak.  We all could use an extra dose of kindness occasionally.  Life is busy.  It is very easy to think more of ourselves than others.  Simple things irritate us.  Would keeping a question a week in front of us make a difference in how we react to this world we live in?

There is time for all of us to accept the challenge to be a kinder person.  There is time for all of us to share with others how special they are.  How they enrich our lives simply by occupying this planet with us.  There is time to practice listening.  Listening is hard work.  It requires concentration.  Not only on what is being shared, but also what isn't.   It is a skill that can be developed.  This is a gift we can give others--the gift of listening.

Yesterday I was in a line at Starbucks.  All the chairs and tables were occupied.  People were reading, working on computers, visiting with friends.  There were the usual sounds--the expresso machine doing its thing, the blender grinding ice and the buzz of people.

"Shut up!" she yelled very loudly.

It was startling.  Out of the ordinary.  It caught the attention of everyone in the room.

I turned to see what had caused such an outburst.  At a table very close to me sat a woman and two young teen-age girls.  It was evident they were working on homework.  There was an Algebra book open and paper with computations on it.  As my glance took all of this in, one of the young girls jumped up from her chair and quickly marched out of the store.  The woman caught my gaze.  She mouthed the words, "I don't care" and then quickly said, "I do care."

What do you do in a situation like that?  There is the question for the hour.   A situation has presented itself.  Do you smile and turn away?  Do you offer yourself to a person in despair?  What is the right thing to do?

I stood there for a bit--in the line with all the others looking away from the woman.  And then I walked over and comforted her.  She said her daughter had told her to shut-up five times while they were working on the math assignment. She had had enough.  I asked the age of her daughter.  Thirteen.  Well, there is most of the answer to the situation. Those junior high years are so difficult.  Parents live with complete strangers all the time trying to figure them out.  I didn't offer advice.  She is a college professor.  She travels all over the world.  Yet this person she birthed has changed so much she doesn't recognize her.  She can communicate with those in her classes and with people she meets in her travels.  But this person sitting across from her in Starbucks is unrecognizable.

I wanted to offer some tips for living with junior high age people.  That wasn't the time or place.  We shared a few moments.  I can still see the frustration and hurt on her face.

Her daughter returned to the room.  Quite embarrassed, I am sure.  I spoke to her.  Asked her if she was ok.  She said she was.  Then I returned to my place in line.  A young man walked past me with his drink.  He whispered that what I had done was very kind.  Then he asked if I were a teacher.  I told him yes, but that I was retired.  He said he thought I might be.  He is a teacher, too.  We shared just a few seconds, but those few seconds make me think about many things.

In fact,  that exchange with him brings me back to the questions I wrote at the beginning of this blog.

You see, it is all about choice.  We can choose to know.  To go beyond seeing.  Everyone in that room saw.   You couldn't help but see.  Knowing means we sense that we can help in a small way.  Knowing means we take the chance.  We step out of that zone that surrounds us.  We reach out to another human.  Some would say there is too much risk involved in walking into a situation uninvited.  Yes, there certainly is risk.  But for those of us who know, risk is not a word we ever use.  We go where the need is.   I don't know how to explain "know."  It just is.

So, my question for you is  do you have a question for your week?  I have one for mine.  If you are having a difficult time selecting one question, how about this one.  Do I smile at others?  That is an easy one to remember yet can be quite difficult to do.

Have I told you how much I appreciate that you are reading these words?  It is my most sincere desire that what I write has meaning for you.  Even the silly ones.

Be safe out there as you navigate your world.  Our time is limited.  Make it count.

Peace and Blessings!