The Unexpected Question

The Unexpected Question--


"I have a question to ask you," she said.

It was a summer day.  Following me into my driveway was a car I did not recognize.  When the car door opened,  it was one of my former students.  Teachers don't like to admit that some students hold a special place in their heart.  That would appear to be playing favorites.  However, I had always felt a bond with this young woman.

We sat in my family room and chatted about what was happening with her and her former classmates.  I knew she had a secret, but that secret was hers to share.  I would not ask about it unless she opened the conversation.  Eventually, she asked if I knew.  Yes, I did know.  At that point the conversation shifted to more woman to woman things than to teacher/student things.  We visited about how things would change.  She was pregnant.

After talking about how the pregnancy was going, she said she had come to ask me a question.  I honestly had no idea what was about to fill the space around my ears.  It was evident she had given this question much thought.  Would I be her birth partner?

Ok--she had been in my English classes in junior high and in chorus.  She had been a performer in a few musicals.  But, we had never talked about serious things with the exception of a short story or novel.  And now she was asking me to perform a service that went way beyond my experience.  To say I was surprised would be a gross understatement.

As I sat on the sofa facing her, my thoughts were whirling in my head.   I had a few questions to ask her before I answered.  How about a close friend?  Or her mother? or a relative?  No, she had made the decision that I would do the best job of coaching her through the birth.

What could I say?  I said I was honored that she had thought about me.  Yes, I would do that for/with her.  But, if someone else came to her mind or she changed her mind, that was perfectly ok with me.  We agreed.  We would take the Lamaze classes.  She would let me know when they started.

When she drove away, I was well aware that she had ticked off one important item on her list of things to get done.  This precious young woman was about to embark on a new journey that would change her life forever.  And I was allowed to be a small part of that change.  Was I frightened?  You bet.   What if I did something wrong?  What if I fainted?  What if I got scared? What if.......

We did go to classes and learned the breathing techniques.  I had had a natural childbirth and had attended the classes so there was a little knowledge about what to expect.  She did really well at the classes.

The call--come now.  Off to the hospital at break neck speed.  I am not sure why we do this.  Usually it takes a long time for a baby to pop into the world.   There she was.  Hooked up to the machine that would monitor her contractions.  She was on a journey.

Together we worked that breathing.  And then it was time for the baby to arrive.  I coached her through the entire process.  We worked like a team who had been doing this for years.  A beautiful little girl came screaming into the world and into her mother's arms.  Did I say we all cried?  I think I cried more from relief that I had not messed this whole thing up!

After it was finished, I gathered myself to leave.  A birthing nurse approached me with another question.  By this time questions had begun to scare me.  She said I had done the best job of coaching she had ever seen.  Would I be interested in doing that for other women?  Would I become a birth coach?  Without any hesitation, I responded.  No.  I had agreed to do this for my friend.  Once was enough.

Maybe the point of this is we never know what we might be asked to do.  We always have a choice to say no, but saying no means we deprive ourselves and others of wonderful memories and blessings.  I asked my friend why she had chosen me.  She said she knew I could do this because I worked with junior high students, and she never saw me lose my cool.  Was this an accurate picture she had of me?  Heck no.  I lost my cool many times. She just wasn't around!

Back to the point--before we automatically say no to something that is beyond our experience, maybe we should take a moment and think.  Never in my life did I expect to be asked that question.  Yet, that question and the shared time enriched me life.  I had a choice.  I could have said no because I was afraid.  Was I afraid?  Yes.  But, I trusted her faith in me to do something so magnificent for her.

The unexpected knocks on our doors.  Will you answer?