How Dangerous Is Your Neighborhood?

How Dangerous Is Your Neighborhood?

I have discovered one of the most dangerous neighborhoods, and it is very close by.  In fact, it is within me.  It is in my own head.

How can my head be a dangerous neighborhood?  Let's think about that together.

The thoughts that swirl around in my head come from all directions.  Often they come quickly with value judgements attached.  While that might seem harmless, I find it can be quite the opposite.  If we are our thoughts, then I need to work on what I allow to fill my mind.  How about you?

It is possible that I dwell on things that don't help me.  In fact, those things that I often dwell upon have the potential to be  quite harmful.  Let's say someone caused me a bit of pain.  Yes, I have choice in how I will deal with this experience.  And let's say that I really make an effort to push it to the back of my mind.  That is all well and good, but often those things resurface.  And then I think about them again.  Why?  The event is over.  There is no reason to think about it at all.  Allowing myself to relive the experience means I give up part of the good that I could be living.

And then there are those self-limiting thoughts.  If I allowed those types of thoughts to infiltrate my mind, I wouldn't be sitting here early in the morning writing this blog.  I would be telling myself that I have nothing to say that would interest or help another human.  Besides, anytime I write something, I have no control over how my words hit another's eyes and mind.  A bit frightening.  But only if I allow it to be.  Self-limiting thoughts keep us firmly planted to the spot we occupy when we have the ability to reach for those beautiful stars!

There are times when I beat myself up figuratively over something I have said or not said.   Open mouth--insert foot.  Sometimes the thoughts come tumbling out as if there is no filter at all for them to flow through.  There is a way to avoid this situation.  Take a little time to think before opening the mouth.  Breathe and slow down.   Take a moment to think how those words will sound once they hit the air.   The next part of that lesson is to ask for forgiveness.  Anyone else ever in this place?

Comparing myself to another person is very dangerous because I usually come out on the short end of the stick!   Sometimes, from my vantage point, it looks like everyone else has it all together, and I don't.  This can be so self-defeating.  Young girls often suffer from this.  Women do, also.  Another's body is just perfect.  Mine is not.  Another's house is beautiful and big and new.  Mine is small and old.  Another's talents and skills are absolutely amazing.  Mine are ordinary.  There is no end to the list, is there?  What a terrible place to find ourselves.  Each of us must learn to celebrate our own self.  Easy to say--difficut to do.

This one is really dangerous.  When we presume another's intentions,  we almost always get it wrong.  How easy to believe we understand why something happened or something was said.  We know what they meant,  and we are so offended or hurt.  When we presume what another person meant, we put our thoughts and beliefs inside their head.  Now, is that a good and right thing to do?  Do we like it when another person makes the same presumptions about what we think?  I think not.  Maybe the thing to do would be to have a conversation and make sure we understand.

Well, I am stuck in my neighborhood.  I wear it on my shoulders.  Can't get rid of it.  But, I can give some thought to how I live.  I can make new decisions about the way I think about myself and others.  I can realize that others are probably experiencing some of the exact came emotions that I experience.  Neighborhoods often have spring cleaning days.  Old items that are no longer useful are thrown away to make way for the new and improved.  Hummmmm...

The new year is just around the corner.  Will you join me in a bit of housekeeping?  I am thinking I will select one of the items I wrote about and see how I can turn it into something positive.  Baby steps.  Slow and steady.  Maybe by this time next year we will have journeyed together into a new and better neighborhood!